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#377256 - 11/29/11 05:45 AM Re: Stupid cigarette (possible trigger) [Re: JaapVisser]
TheTwoOfUs Offline


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 149
Loc: USA
Jaap,

I started smoking when I was 9, and I just turned 40 in October. If it was easy to quit, everyone would have when the costs of the habit started rising, and cardiac patients would have quit when the doc tells them it's smokes or life, one or the other.

That said - I'm a firm believer in "when the time is right." You'll know. That's what I keep seeing and hearing over and over again by former smokers. "When the time is right" you'll be able to do it.

In the meantime, trying to quit when you aren't really ready to do so just throws an additional stress into your life, and yes, it IS a stress. Give it time, take it as it comes. When your really ready, you'll stop.

That's how I look at it.

_________________________
Matthew

Adapt. Overcome. Survive.

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#377301 - 11/29/11 11:37 AM Re: Stupid cigarette (possible trigger) [Re: TheTwoOfUs]
George E. Offline


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 48
Loc: Kent, Washington
I've have heard from my wife for 28 years: "I'll quit when I'm ready". Smoking has to be one of the strongest addictions there is, very difficult to shake off.


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#377312 - 11/29/11 02:40 PM Re: Stupid cigarette (possible trigger) [Re: George E.]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 733
Loc: NJ
I wont go into my whole smoking issues from the near past...LOl.

But I will say, that after discussing with T, its a great way to think you got some control in your life. Nobody can tell "me" I can or cant smoke..or something like that.

just some thoughts.

_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#377314 - 11/29/11 02:51 PM Re: Stupid cigarette (possible trigger) [Re: Castle]
JaapVisser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 57
Loc: The Netherlands
Thanks for the input guys. It felt good to rant about it. Somethimes these things can get so big in your head and that's why I really appreciate this forum, that I can unload it here and get some great responses and input.

_________________________
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.

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#377328 - 11/29/11 05:41 PM Re: Stupid cigarette (possible trigger) [Re: JaapVisser]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5945
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Jaap,

I say... sit with it. A coping mechanism smoking is, a way to separate ourselves from the chore of recovery, and the trauma of the abuse. We work so hard to overcome the abuse memories and triggers, we overdo it, and we need a break. Right now, the work is overwhelming, and you cannot find a limitation before the need to light up. So be it.

These things we do to refresh us after we loath ourselves, these are needed until we can be aware of the crash, and bring comfort to us before the mechanism.

When the time is right, you will know it. Until then, yep, it is bad for you, it will kill you and if you keep doing it, 10,000 baby seals will die horrible deaths.., if you were not using this mechanism, you may be non functional, angry or shutdown, and those aren't good for you either.

Peace Jaap, you know what you are doing, and you are on the right path and making fine progress, keep up the good work,
Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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