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#377135 - 11/28/11 02:33 PM Syracuse scandal
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
The Syracuse scandal has my head spinning. First the coach's - Bernie Fine - alleged behavior was abusive and he took it out on an innocent child(ren). Then his wife was "watching" and felt it ok to have an affair with the kid when he turned 18 - yuck.

I was sexually abused by my mom's male friend. Did she know?
My mom thought it ok to "sleep" with me as a child for her own comfort. It is my own abuse that is making my head spin.

What are others thoughts?

Avery

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#377146 - 11/28/11 03:42 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Avery46]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1402
Loc: California
Avery,

You touched on something that's been bothering me for a while, ever since I realized that my mom had an emotionally inappropriate relationship with me as a child.

I'm starting to think it was her poor boundaries she exhibited with me that set me up for molestation by my older cousin. My mom didn't model healthy boundaries for me, all while emotionally / psychologically neglecting me. I needed affection and love and attention, which she hardly gave.

Had she had good boundaries with me, I doubt I would have had an sexual relationship with my cousin as a child.

D

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#377191 - 11/28/11 08:08 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Magellan]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
My stomach is all upset and my head is spinning a little awhile ago - literally. Going to lay down.

Yuck!!!

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aka DJsport

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#377194 - 11/28/11 08:20 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Avery46]
Sailor John Offline


Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 310
Loc: Newfoundland & Labrador
Why the hell do they do it. First Penn State and now Syracuse and the perp's wife. The whole bunch of them should be strung up by the testicles until they either rot away or they die. The mother should be hung upside down. Sorry, but that's how I feel.

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#377230 - 11/28/11 11:59 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Sailor John]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6424
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I cannot even look at my Syracuse class ring.

I encountered a college-age kid wearing a Penn State Wrestling shirt at the gas station. I stood in stunned amazement.

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#377232 - 11/29/11 12:19 AM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Still]
NewSummer Offline


Registered: 09/01/11
Posts: 59
Loc: Surrey BC
Magellan,
You are right when you said "I needed affection and love and attention"...I still do. Makes my heart ache when I think about how cold I felt as a child, until my cousin came to town..

_________________________
life is what happens while you make other plans- John Lennon

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#377245 - 11/29/11 02:40 AM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: NewSummer]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1198
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/17/13 11:54 PM)
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#377319 - 11/29/11 03:45 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: lapchinj]
Sobernow Offline


Registered: 05/17/10
Posts: 256
Loc: Oklahoma
this stuff has me a frozen state.
kinda like driving by a horrible car accident with bodies laying out. you don't want to look -- but you can't resist.

thats how i feel about SportsCenter on ESPN these days. I can't stand the sports stuff --- but you have to grant them this --- they were instrumental in exposing this sick mess.



Edited by Sobernow (11/29/11 03:46 PM)

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#377321 - 11/29/11 04:41 PM Re: Syracuse scandal [Re: Sobernow]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1652
it is so sad, so much of this everywhere. Syracuse coach and the wife, Penn State-I guess there will be more to come. It seems boundaries mean nothing to these people. However, when boundaries are crossed they can hurt and even destroy. It happens everywhere, as Magellen said it happened in his home, a mother with no strong sense of boundaries and an emotionally inappropriate relationship. So it seems we need a strong community to watch out for the child.


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