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#376556 - 11/23/11 01:07 AM Why Is Anger So Easy?
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
Why? Why is it so hard to enjoy the good things In life and so easy to be mad? Sometimes it gets to the point that I just have to smash something just to get the energy out of my system and when I'm done I can't even remember what the hell I was mad at. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed afterward. I don't know how to control myself, I don't know how to stop.

What do you guys do with your anger?

_________________________
Yet another 24 hours.

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#376587 - 11/23/11 12:10 PM Re: Why Is Anger So Easy? [Re: Clockwise]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Clockwise

Yeah I feel you. Up until May this year I was also ANGRY, spitting mad, would lash out at all and sundry for no reason. Mad mad road rage, and my poor staff, well they would run and hide.
Never mind the family that would hide when I came home, and only emerge when they saw what sort of a mood I was in.
Poor Poor family, what I must have put them through.

But in May, I finally learned that I was a survivor. The feeling of joy and elation at finding out that I am not the only one was immense. And the first thing to let go of me? the rage.
I cant explain it, or even tell you what happened, I just woke the next morning at peace with the world. Since then I only get angry after a long while, no short fuse anymore. ITS GREAT!!!

Sorry but this isn't an answer for you, but rather my experience, but yeah I do feel for you and hope you do find a solution.

Heal well brother
Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#376613 - 11/23/11 05:51 PM Re: Why Is Anger So Easy? [Re: Clockwise]
blindpet Offline


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 57
Loc: DK and UK, Europe
When I get angry and am alone, I take my squash racquet and beat the shit of my bed with it, or sometimes I use my fist on my bed. I always make sure not to cause myself physical pain when expressing my anger by punching a wall for example. I have also smashed fruit before in the woods, very cathartic. Playing squash and just beating the shit out of the ball while picturing my abuser helps as well. Just try to always make sure the anger doesn't cause you physical harm smile.

If you can try and contain your anger so that you express it in a non-destructive way, then def do that. If you can't then the best advice I have is to breathe deeply in and out and try to relax and realize you don't want to cause unnecessary destruction, remind yourself there is a safer, better place to get it out.

_________________________
I didn't fuck it up, but I will unfuck it up. All MS members: Let's all unfuck it up!
It does get better because I will make it better, together we can make it better.

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#376615 - 11/23/11 06:46 PM Re: Why Is Anger So Easy? [Re: blindpet]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Clockwise,

I can relate to the anger. The anger for me got so intense that I could NOT think or act. I lost my job, apartment, my car and my dignity months ago due to the intense anger. I don't have a good support system.

Have a good support system. It is ok to be angry. But, be careful with the intensity and acting on the anger.

It is great you recognize it and write about the anger.

Peace,
Avery

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#376617 - 11/23/11 07:03 PM Re: Why Is Anger So Easy? [Re: whome]
GoogleTed Offline


Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 6
Originally Posted By: whome
Hi Clockwise

Yeah I feel you. Up until May this year I was also ANGRY, spitting mad, would lash out at all and sundry for no reason. Mad mad road rage, and my poor staff, well they would run and hide.
Never mind the family that would hide when I came home, and only emerge when they saw what sort of a mood I was in.
Poor Poor family, what I must have put them through.




I have been there too,
The catalyst that made me seek out help last week was I smashed my third laptop this year frown

Felt so stupid and ashamed afterward. figured that something was not quite right,


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#376620 - 11/23/11 07:45 PM Re: Why Is Anger So Easy? [Re: GoogleTed]
Asmodeus Offline


Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 112
Loc: Vestavia, Alabama, USA
One way I keep my anger to a confined space so it won't hurt anyone is violent video games. It just feels good. For about a week before I came back here the only games I was in the mood to play were the old 2d side scrolling brawlers and shooters from the 90s like Final Fight, Streets of Rage, Total Carnage and Contra. After a week it occured to me that there might be more to it than just being in the mood for violent games. When I finally allowed myself to pay attention to the news about Sandusky and it occured to me that he was the reason for how I had been feeling that week.

_________________________
I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not fake.

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#376625 - 11/23/11 08:10 PM Re: Why Is Anger So Easy? [Re: Clockwise]
TheTwoOfUs Offline


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 149
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: Clockwise
What do you guys do with your anger?


I run. I jog. I train. I pound the crap out of heavy bags and punching bags in the gym. I carve, I whittle. I meditate, I listen to music, I read, I write, I take photos, I do cg artwork.

I try to direct it constructively. I try very hard not to hurt people with it. I try to give it an outlet. It's not easy, and there's a lot of times that I look at someone and tell them to just get away from me and stay away from me until I come back to them. Sometimes I have to walk away entirely.

I have a TON of rage and anger. But I just try to give it a constructive outlet, a safe venting path. If none of that works, I will lock myself down in my apartment or a room and just write the shit out on paper and then BURN it.

Usually one or some of these methods works. Sometimes it just doesn't, but most of the time... something up there will help.

I hope this helps you.

_________________________
Matthew

Adapt. Overcome. Survive.

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#376634 - 11/23/11 09:24 PM Re: Why Is Anger So Easy? [Re: TheTwoOfUs]
Sailor John Offline


Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 307
Loc: Newfoundland & Labrador
Hi Clockwise,

The first time I got really angry, I ruined a wall in my house - It also hurts when you hit a stud - I know. It also led to a major headache fixing the wall. After that I put pillows in strategic places around the house to give me something soft to hit.

_________________________
I will mourn the teenager I never was and strive to make that dot of light way out in the far reaches of the end of the tunnel turn into a bright sun.

WE ARE NOT VICTIMS. WE ARE THE SURVIVORS!!!

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#376815 - 11/25/11 09:33 PM Re: Why Is Anger So Easy? [Re: Sailor John]
Incognito Offline


Registered: 04/17/11
Posts: 105
The only things I have found to help are training in the gym and listening to music. Each one has a profound effect on changing how I feel and is probably why I listen to music nearly every waking hour.

_________________________
"If you're willing to carry the weight, feel the strain, push past the pain, and give more of yourself than others expect of you, the world is yours." - Dave Tate

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#376943 - 11/26/11 11:20 PM Re: Why Is Anger So Easy? [Re: Clockwise]
Clockwise Offline


Registered: 03/03/09
Posts: 302
Loc: Pennsylvania
Thanks guys for the understanding and advice. I've often wondered why anger always seemed to be such a readily available resource for me. It's always there no matter what I do. And the thing that baffles me the most about it is that most people's opinion about me regarding my mood is the complete opposite of how I see myself. At my job all they talk about is how patient I am and and how calm I am and how nice I am to people. When new employees are hired they always ask me to help them learn the ropes because they know I'll take my time with them and answer their questions nicely and won't get upset with them when they make a mistake.

I don't see myself like that at all. In my eyes, I'm the most impatient person I know. I hate being around people a lot of the time and my job forces me to be around people. Its like sand paper against my skin sometimes and I get angered very quickly. That's how I see myself and I don't know how they could see any different. I don't regard myself as a nice person at all.

_________________________
Yet another 24 hours.

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