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#376795 - 11/25/11 06:13 PM What am I doing back here againnnnnnn?
kolisha54 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/03
Posts: 475
Loc: Brooklyn, NY
Sigh. I made my peace with the Survivor who "brought me here" and although we never managed an intimate relationship, we are sweet and good loving friends to each other and we can depend on each other.

So.

I have been involved with someone else recently on & off and due to one symptom or another, began to suspect that he has Borderline Personality Disorder....

I also found out from a mutual friend that he had been emotionally abused by his mother, who he ADORES even though she is no longer here on planet earth.

Just recently, we began to get more physically entanged and to make a long story short, he now INSISTS that he doesn't want an amorous relationship with me. He has had this rant before, but it only happens after I have failed in some way to return a phone call. You can almost predict when the rant is going to hit.

I hate to think of it, but am beginning to suspect he is a Survivor. He has been soooo obnoxious to me that I can't see myself going back for more punishment. But I still care for him. I am considering trying to talk with him about this, but we are soooo angry at each other that I can't see how we will ever learn to trust.

Anyone else with experience with BPD?

Thanks so much!

_________________________
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now... when? --Hillel

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#376810 - 11/25/11 08:44 PM Re: What am I doing back here againnnnnnn? [Re: kolisha54]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
What is borderline personality disorder??

Thanks,
D.

_________________________
Female.

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#376830 - 11/26/11 12:07 AM Re: What am I doing back here againnnnnnn? [Re: Disappointed]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
Yep. My ex has BPD. It will drive you insane if he isn't getting any help for it. It is a maddening thing to deal with, though I feel for the people who have it. But I also feel for the people who are hurt by it. Honestly, if he is already playing games with you (manipulating when you don't give him attention), you will have to decide if you want to go through that yet again. Talk to him about it, sure, but if he doesn't seek help, please don't put yourself through another painful relationship.


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#376845 - 11/26/11 06:16 AM Re: What am I doing back here againnnnnnn? [Re: hopeandtry]
kolisha54 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/03
Posts: 475
Loc: Brooklyn, NY
Disappointed - this is a personality disorder marked by a deep terror of Abandonment and failure to regulate violent swings of emotion. There are many excellent resources if you google Borderline Personality Disorder.

Hope - Yes! I am re-evaluating the whole thing! I can't seem to shake him out of my heart or mind, but the aggressive way he responds to what he perceives as me "rejecting" him (ONLY a BP could interpret my actions this way) makes it impossible for me to have a serious, calm conversation with him. Besides that, he will just view the conversation as criticism and we will get nowhere!

I feel tremendous tenderness and empathy for him - and coming FROM him, too - but these highs are outweighed by the rages and the "games."

I guess I know what I need to do, but it really hurts right now.

Thanks so much for your thoughts!!!

_________________________
If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now... when? --Hillel

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#377641 - 12/02/11 12:18 AM Re: What am I doing back here againnnnnnn? [Re: kolisha54]
herowannabe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/11
Posts: 386
Loc: USA
Run while there's still time. And I say this with much love and compassion for you!

RUN!

_________________________


For I know the plans I have made for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


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