Newest Members
JohnWC, KKumar, J44, Anura, reynel5
12420 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
almostdonew/life (39), barelysurviving (45), bigbob20 (69), billyp (65), Shawv (70), TheTwoOfUs (43)
Who's Online
1 registered (JW1230), 27 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12420 Members
74 Forums
63772 Topics
445343 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6 >
Topic Options
#376548 - 11/23/11 12:34 AM 40 Steps to saving your marriage
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
This is for all those that have "abused" their wives emotionally, and the lovely woman in our lives are sick of us.
We know we love them, but unfortunately cant show it, or don't know how to show it.
I do this for you all, as well as myself, so lets support one another and bless the wonderful ladies in our lives for a change.

CSA recovery is unfortunately a very very selfish endeavour, and this impacts on our marriages, so here is a 40 day programme to Saving our marriage and make our ladies feel special.

This programme is taken from a book called the "LOVE DARE" No author.
I cant rewrite all in the book, so buy it.
Its a Christian based book, but that doesn't matter cause it works. love dare


Let me know how it goes.

Heal well all
Martin


_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
#376551 - 11/23/11 12:47 AM DAY ONE [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
DAY 1

Love is Patient

Love is built on patience and kindness.
When you choose to be patient you will respond in a positive way in negative situations.
Patience brings an internal calm in a ragging storm, so if you are patient, you will not react in angry, foolish irrational ways.
Try today to react to ALL situations in a patient and loving way, Guard your instant response, the rolling of the eyes, the sigh, the turning away in anger. Mark how your body reacts and avoid those normal behaviours.
Few of us do patience well, and none of us do it naturally, so pursue patience, and you will bring a calm to your home.
Patience is kind.
Patience is loving.
Patience is forgiving.
Patience is slow to anger.

TODAY"S CHALLENGE:
Today you must resolve to say NOTHING negative, and demonstrate Patience. If you want to say something bad rather say nothing at all.

Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
#376653 - 11/24/11 12:06 AM DAY TWO [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
LOVE IS KIND

Kindness can be broken down into 4 Parts
Gentleness: Is when you speak and act gently, when even a rebuke is said in love, and you go out of your way to do everything with thought and fore-site.

Helpfulness: that thing you should do when you would rather be watching the football, without the complaining.

Willingness: doing things with out being grumpy and stubborn, look for reasons to compromise and accommodate.

Initiative: Think ahead and take the first step, dont sit on the couch and wait to be asked to repair that old broken light, just do it. When you see a need, you make your move FIRST.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE:
Don't say anything negative to your spouse, but also do one act of kindness with out being asked and seeking validation


Stay the Course brothers

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
#376730 - 11/25/11 12:00 AM DAY THREE [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
LOVE IS NOT SELFISH

Selfishness means that you will put your own wants and desires before that of your spouse. That new phone you wanted the I pad you want.

Todays challenge

Along with refraining from negative comments, and doing an act of kindness, Buy something for your spouse that says I was thinking of you today.

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
#376747 - 11/25/11 06:43 AM Re: DAY THREE [Re: whome]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
Martin I love this. It is the perfect gift just before the holidays Thanks


Top
#376758 - 11/25/11 08:39 AM Re: DAY THREE [Re: mike13]
Fissy Tsickens Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/23/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Bassett, Virginia
Thanks for sharing this, Martin. I'm going to try it...

Peace,

John

_________________________
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Iíll never see

It may sound absurd...but donít be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but wonít you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Itís not easy to be me

Top
#376770 - 11/25/11 11:54 AM DAY FOUR [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
LOVE IS THOUGHTFUL.

When you first fell in love you were thoughtful, if simply to impress your loved one, so why stop.?
Being thoughtful means that you show her that you are thinking of her all the time, and that you help her when she is struggling. Remember those special times that you had together, the anniversaries and special things that you did together.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE.

Along with no negative talk. Take time out of your busy schedule to call your spouse and just talk, no agenda, just talk. Ask her how her day is, and ask her if there is something that you can pick up on the way home for her, or if there is something that she needs or wants for herself.

Stay the course
Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
#376771 - 11/25/11 12:18 PM Re: DAY FOUR [Re: whome]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
Thanks Martin!

I can never have too many positive inputs into my day or my relationships.

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

ďIt doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

Top
#376991 - 11/27/11 02:30 PM DAY FIVE [Re: Mountainous Buck]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
LOVE IS NOT RUDE

To act rude is embarrassing and unbecoming.
In a marriage, this could be bad table manners, a foul mouth, bad language or unnecessary sexual talk.

It may seem like a small thing to you, but to your spouse, after many years of the same behaviour, it becomes a huge issue.

TODAYS CHALLENGE
Ask your spouse to tell you about three things that irritate or make them feel uncomfortable, that you do.
You must ask this without attacking them or bemoaning them, this is from their perspective.

Stay the course
Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
#377220 - 11/28/11 10:49 PM DAY SIX [Re: whome]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
LOVE IS NOT IRRITABLE
How easily do you get irritated and offend.
There are two factors that can make you irritated
Stress:
Deficiencies: like a lack of sleep, food, and exercise.
Look at these factors and make adjustments.

TODAYS CHALLENGE.
Choose to react to tough circumstances in a loving manner.
Make a list of any wrong motivations that you need to release from you life, and also where you need to add margin to the way that you reacted to a situation

Stay on track
Martin

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

Top
Page 1 of 6 1 2 3 4 5 6 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.