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#375909 - 11/18/11 12:04 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1372
Loc: kansas
fellas,

please.... let's not do this.....

please do not let what's going on with sandusky have us going at each other....

this is what perps want... for us to go at each other.. to have us fighting each other...

i'm asking that we get back to what we really need to focus on is those kids who were abused and trying to provide help and support to them....

we also need to help and support all the people that are joining this site now.

we had an influx of people join when the oprah shows aired. we are experiencing another influx of people joining due to recent events...

let's provide them with the support and help that they need because they are just starting their journeys to recovery and it's a very scary, very difficult, first few steps.... they don't need to see us fighting with each other... they need to see us supporting each other. we may not agree with each other but we must show unity in the common goals...

please... let's get back to why we are truly here... to help give and receive the support we all need to get through this...

thanks...

todd

_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#375910 - 11/18/11 12:15 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Obi]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1428
Loc: California
Todd (Obi)

Thank you for posting this. Very needed.

For our recovery, for group harmony, we should strive to refrain from discussing politics, religion, and refrain from gossip or criticism of one another. Unity of purpose. - Adapted from Alanon literature.

D

_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#375913 - 11/18/11 12:38 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Magellan]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1443
I'm targeted by a guy named TOTAL CONTROL. Tell me THAT doesn't trigger. eek

Seriously, I just really don't know how to respond to such a personal attack like this without just fanning flames. As much as I want to respond, you're perception about me - and your interpretation of my writing - is so off-base that any real foundation of discussion is lost. Obviously what I say presses a lot of buttons with you. You'll find good friends and good help here, TC. I have.

Trust me (or don't) - but it's a fact that the support here will be more effective when you drop that heavy dark coat of anger and suspicion at the door...

_________________________
Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#375922 - 11/18/11 02:15 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1235
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/18/13 12:01 AM)
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#375924 - 11/18/11 02:50 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
Preach Offline


Registered: 11/18/11
Posts: 1
The quarterback fumbled the ball tragically, but maybe the most important factor to think about is the social context of his gross insensitivity/uncaring/etc. We live in a world that, not too long ago, didn't didn't believe ANY reports of chid abuse. Adults were supreme beings and kids were not to be trusted. For the quarterback, Sandusky was a hero, not to be distrusted, and the kid is, still in many people's minds, just a kid who probably asked for it--which is what defense attorneys would love to claim, as they do in adult rape trials. F. Lee Bailey, the talking head attorney of late used to joke that victims of rape started out saying, Don't...stop, meaning they wanted it to stop, and once receiving this fabulous pressure, started sayin, Don't stop, meaning they didn't want it to stop.A radical thing to say is that witnesses to molestatin are victims of cultural influences. I was molested at age three and my son at age 12. This shit will never end until EVERYONE gets understood.


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#375941 - 11/18/11 05:25 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Preach]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1443
Preach -

Precisely. The last sentence especially. The last word ultimately.

_________________________
Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#375947 - 11/18/11 06:16 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
TOTAL.CONTROL Offline


Registered: 11/06/11
Posts: 12
[Content removed due to violation of site guidelines. Please review site guidelines regarding personal attacks.]



Edited by ModTeam (11/18/11 09:04 PM)
Edit Reason: Personal attack.

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#376075 - 11/19/11 04:53 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: TOTAL.CONTROL]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1443

is this place safe?

eek


_________________________
Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#376133 - 11/19/11 11:22 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1971
I have not posted here in a while, and for some reason posted on this thread. I had something to say but now really have no interest in saying. Nothing of offense, just serves no purpose.



Edited by ericc (11/19/11 11:32 PM)

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#376165 - 11/20/11 05:37 AM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chet]
Drop Offline


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 121
I have to agree and say it's not as simple as being stronger then the abuser and therefore having to be able to stop him.
You don't know the coach's background, maybe he was molested too as a child? You don't know why he didn't stop him, maybe he was just to shocked to do anything?
He DID NOT keep it a secret though and even though a lot of mistakes were made afterwards it seems, it DID eventually come to the light.
The sobstory at the door, how can you blame him and how would YOU react if you suddenly got a microphone shoved in your face and are asked to give a reply to the whole story.
How would YOU feel that just because you didn't stop it right away you're now being burned at the stake in the media and probably by a bunch of your friends and coworkers too?
I wonder if those friends and coworkers and people from the media etc would have reacted had they been in the same situation... I doubt many of them would have been the hero we all think we would be, or should be.

I don't know the entire story cause it's not on the news here i think, but I don't know the coach either. None of us do.

That said I really do hope that if i'm ever faced with such a situation I would do the right thing and stop it, however I know that most likely I won't be able to physically, but if I were, well, I really am not sure how I would handle it.

Anyway my point is we all have strong ideas about how we think we would deal with things like this and how other people should deal with it but it almost never is that easy. Talking about and actually doing it are 2 whole different things.
I guess I just hope I'll never have to do the action part.

_________________________
Broken eyed and shutdown
Running down the road
Send me straight to hell
Watch me burn, watch me burn

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