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#375720 - 11/17/11 11:49 AM Re: He's Sick......I'm Confused [Re: gjonbos]
sono Offline

Registered: 07/19/09
Posts: 1069

Let's go through paragraph two of your post above in person next week. I have been through some of those feelings, shit I still have them, and it would be good for both of us to talk on them a little bit I think.


the family
the perp

#375721 - 11/17/11 12:15 PM Re: He's Sick......I'm Confused [Re: sono]
gjonbos Offline

Registered: 09/23/11
Posts: 48
Loc: MA
You got it K smile

"Place your past into a book
Put in everything you ever took
Place your past into a book
Burn the pages let them cook"

#445508 - 08/26/13 03:59 PM Re: He's Sick......I'm Confused [Re: gjonbos]
Bluedogone Offline

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 728
Loc: Southern US
Hi Gabe,
I know I'm a couple of years too late for the discussion, but this post and your story of abuse has been so important to me as part of my recovery. I've been here only a short time, and reading your story as well as others has shown there's no reason to keep things a secret here. I hope after these 20 months or so you've decided if, when, and how you confronted your abuser, and you moved on and made good progress toward healing. I think I know what you experienced because a situation with one of my abusers had so many similar features as your case.

At a HS reunion I found out one of my abusers was in jail and was deathly ill, not expected to live, and a group of his fellow jocks from the school were planning to try to visit him if they could and bring some kind of gift basket. He was in jail because someone had reported his molesting them (not cowardly me, I didn't report him). I kept silent AGAIN because I didn't want all these alumni to know. and I didn't go and confront him, assuming I could have visited him in jail had I tried.
Your story made me ask myself again if I should have tried to confront him, and I still don't know the answer. But your story has definitely answered one thing - I'm not the only one to face this type of decision, and I thank you.

Blessings, and heal well, my friend.

Never, never, never, never give up...Winston Churchill

#445601 - 08/27/13 04:16 PM Re: He's Sick......I'm Confused [Re: gjonbos]
Castle Offline

Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 758

While random offers of blessings keep me from responding usually... I just wanted to tell you and others that there is nothing cowardly about holding onto a perps secret.

It usually comes down to being safe to tell....imho

as to the original post... he did indeed successfully confront his perpetrator and disclosed to some friends and family. I am proud to be his friend and remind people not to give up.

It ain't easy...
It does get better dudes.

#445813 - 08/29/13 12:49 AM Re: He's Sick......I'm Confused [Re: gjonbos]
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
CJ- I reiterate what Castle has posted. There is nothing... NOTHING..."cowardly" about about not sharing what has happened to you. It definitely comes down to feeling safe. It is a personal decision for the survivor, and the survivor only.

For now we see through a glass, darkly.

#445828 - 08/29/13 04:04 AM Re: He's Sick......I'm Confused [Re: gjonbos]
Onesimus75 Offline

Registered: 08/22/13
Posts: 158
Loc: Minnesota
sorry, made this whole post before I checked the date.


Edited by Onesimus75 (08/29/13 04:07 AM)
We are not defined by our faults, or our wounds, but by the truth within us, which nothing can take away.

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