I know I'm a couple of years too late for the discussion, but this post and your story of abuse has been so important to me as part of my recovery. I've been here only a short time, and reading your story as well as others has shown there's no reason to keep things a secret here. I hope after these 20 months or so you've decided if, when, and how you confronted your abuser, and you moved on and made good progress toward healing. I think I know what you experienced because a situation with one of my abusers had so many similar features as your case.
At a HS reunion I found out one of my abusers was in jail and was deathly ill, not expected to live, and a group of his fellow jocks from the school were planning to try to visit him if they could and bring some kind of gift basket. He was in jail because someone had reported his molesting them (not cowardly me, I didn't report him). I kept silent AGAIN because I didn't want all these alumni to know. and I didn't go and confront him, assuming I could have visited him in jail had I tried.
Your story made me ask myself again if I should have tried to confront him, and I still don't know the answer. But your story has definitely answered one thing - I'm not the only one to face this type of decision, and I thank you.
Blessings, and heal well, my friend.
It doesn't get easier - you just get better.