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#375555 - 11/16/11 04:32 PM I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes...
Chase Eric Offline
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Registered: 10/25/10
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It's a popular thing to jump on the bandwagon with all the other self-assured armchair quarterbacks and berate Assistant Coach Mike McQueary for not doing enough in the Penn State Sex Scandal. They say stuff like "I'd pull him off of the kid and beat him to a pulp" or "I'd have run out of the building with the kid and gone straight to the police."

The fact is, there is a huge gap between the talk and the walk. What about all this enlightened talk about educating teachers and protecting kids from CSA, and how does that even come close to squaring with what went on for years under the noses of educators, coaches and counselors at both a prestigious, enlightened university AND community youth organization despite all the many indications there was a serious problem with this fellow Sandusky?

Several years back, I remember thinking I'd be a hero if I was ever in the presence of an armed robbery. I had it all figured out in my daydream fantasies - how I'd sneak up on the guy, tackle him and disarm him. Then one night I was at a Pizza Hut and a guy walked in with a sawed-off shotgun. He was so smooth and quiet that most people never noticed. Needless to say, the hero in me never showed up to save the day.

I was 12 when I walked in on my 8 year old sister about to be statutorily raped by an older neighborhood boy. Hmmm - I certainly didn't rehearse THAT in my day dreams! I didn't jump in and punch him out. I just told him to stop - and he did. I didn't call the police or even tell my parents. I just kept it a secret. I spied on him often and broke things up whenever I could. There's much, much more to that story.... someday maybe I share it.

I walked in when my older autistic sister was having sex with a guy her age (I was 14, she 17). Although I didn't stop it (I kept hidden from their view), I did tell my parents.

OK, so you may argue that McQueary was 27 or 28, and I was barely half that age. And maybe it gets me off the hook. Or maybe it keeps him on it. And certainly all of us would think we WOULD jump in decisively like we all know we should, and as we all probably would. Still, what does anyone know about this - Really?

Consider that maybe 16 years earlier, it was McQueary in the shower with Sandusky. Certainly possible. Or consider that maybe McQueary simply got triggered - even traumatized - and just froze. God knows there are a lot of us CSA survivors out there. He ran to his father - am I the only one who finds that almost tellingly peculiar? As a CSA survivor myself, when I saw my older sister being essentially molested, I ran to MY parents.

I'm suspicious of anyone naively self-assured they'd be a hero as if it were a no-brainer, and judge others accordingly as if things were that simple. Where were they when I was being molested?

Was I a hero? In one instance, I was sure I would be - I rehearsed it! In another instance, I was sure I should have been. In yet another instance, I just ran to mommy and daddy. Plenty of opportunities, all failures. If I was in McQueary shoes that day in 2002, I wonder if I'd end up as tarred and feathered by the media as he is.

It's just not that simple - even if you think it is. I'm surprised, especially here, that people haven't figured out that the heroes are not the ones who promote themselves the loudest as would-be heroes.

These same self-anointed "heroes" were never there for us - certainly not for me - with the same boisterous "I've got the world figured out and everyone else is wrong" mentality that my own abuser practiced so well on me.

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#375557 - 11/16/11 04:47 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
kb8715 Offline
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The press has not yet made a big deal out of the family ties between McQueary, Sandusky and Paterno.

McQueary's dad is personal friends with them all. McQueary grew up at PSU and is friends, class mates, and team mates with Sandusky's (adopted) kids.

More questions now, huh?

You don't deserve to be flamed.

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#375561 - 11/16/11 05:07 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: kb8715]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 589
Loc: VA
Chase:

I agree, we need a Reality Check when judging the actions of McQueary and the others who encountered the "alleged" things that happened in those showers. Those of us who lost physical battles with adult perps like to think we'd become the rescuers we never had.

But whether or not McQueary did anything to stop the shower rape (so far he has told 2 stories), I suspect just about everyone is wondering how heinous a sight it would take to shock a man--a 28-y.o. footballer--into informing on his friends' dad--informing the police, not just his own dad and his coach. Was he that worried about his job, or was he just not that surprised?

John


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#375567 - 11/16/11 05:32 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: unhappycamper]
Chase Eric Offline
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He told two stories - one was to a Grand Jury - so the revision, if true(r), could get him into some legal trouble.

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#375571 - 11/16/11 05:56 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
Still Offline
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NOTE: This is not a "flame job" on Mr Chase:

McQ had a perfect (as in PERFECT) opportunity to make himslef look a little better...or mayber a whole lot better when they gave him the front porch interview. He COULD have talked about the emotions of the boys...the stress and destruction of the boys lives...he could have said..."look...I don't matter...what MATTERS is those kids." But NO. Instead he gave the sob-story about how stressed-out his snow-globe world is.

NOT ONE FKING WORD ABOUT THE BOYS!!!! FK PSU FOOTBALL IN THE EAR!!!!

THE PSU FOOTBALL LEADERS ARE VOID OF CHARACTER...FACE IT!!!!


Instead, we get "SNOW GLOBE".

SNOW GLOBE!!! That'll save yer career...you no character fuck!

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#375572 - 11/16/11 06:31 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
Chet Offline


Registered: 11/09/11
Posts: 16
Loc: Kingsport, TN
Chase

I won't flame you, you presented a very well thought out position on this subject. You are dealing with the actual nuances of our lives in a very deep way, I applaud you for that. I can very much see your point of view, even as I don't agree with it.

Also, please don't let your survivor's guilt keep judging you harshly. You did what you could as boy, don't put any blame on the boy that you were. He did the best he could in a very bad situation, as many of did.


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#375579 - 11/16/11 07:05 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chet]
Chase Eric Offline
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Hi - guess I'm not singed yet, so thanks for keeping the flame-throwers at bay a bit.

Chet, you are probably right - I think you are essentially saying that my "inner child" perspective is skewing things. I need to share my story if - for no other reason - see if I can relate to anyone who had similar dynamics. Just need to get up the nerve to do it...

Robbie, thanks. I don't take it as a flame either. I read your story. Weren't you yourself judged rather harshly from others who assumed they knew everything, but really didn't?

I'm not sure how much McQueary was at liberty to say, so the words he exchanged with reporters were necessarily cursory. Don't forget, he's under subpoena, and may not be able to talk about the boys or PSU or anything other than his general feelings.

That said, I actually relate to the snow globe analogy! I suspect his involvement could be deeper and darker than we may see on the surface. I think there is a history there, but of course I'll be the first to admit my thinking it has nothing what-so-ever to do with reality.

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#375581 - 11/16/11 07:18 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Still]
lapchinj Offline
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Edited by lapchinj (03/18/13 12:03 AM)
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

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#375593 - 11/16/11 08:34 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
Still Offline
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Originally Posted By: Chase Eric

That said, I actually relate to the snow globe analogy!


OH SHOOT!!! There goes like 3 months of bustin on McQ's Snow Globe.

Alright...I got to re-think this whole season. :P

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#375651 - 11/17/11 12:27 AM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Still]
Chase Eric Offline
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Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
Originally Posted By: Chase Eric

That said, I actually relate to the snow globe analogy!


OH SHOOT!!! There goes like 3 months of bustin on McQ's Snow Globe. :P


LOL! laugh

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#375666 - 11/17/11 02:39 AM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
Chase Eric Offline
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I'm cool with many of the good points brought up. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. I just don't buy that it's as simple as the media reports lead us to believe. Iím a skeptic by nature.

I really must address one point, however...

Quote:
what about the f**ken kid? what about the damn f**ken kid? Think about the f**ken kid.


I think most of us were in our own figurative shower room dealing with our own Jerry Sandusky's. I haven't spilled my story - but believe me I wear the dirty badge of horror like many here. I donít mind disagreement, but to wholesale make a statement that suggests Iím not thinking of the child based on a simplistic formula that I didnít mention him is a very unfair and misguided assumption.

But isn't that what I'm talking about, anyways? The same thinking is being targeted at McQueary. Simple everything-in-a nutshell formula answers that conveniently label everyone in a tidy package. McQueary didn't call the police so he's a total sh*t. Chase didn't mention "the f*cken kid" so he doesn't think about the child.

So itís about the kid? REALLY? Then maybe we should start acting like it and stop this self-indulgent vent that has all the usefulness of popping pimples.

Anger is just a selfish mental masturbation as far as I'm concerned. Sure - everyone does it, but it produces nothing. I see all the poison spewed out in NewsVine comments, etc. Iím still searching for a place where there is an intelligent balanced discussion on how to address the PROBLEM instead of addressing our offended sensibilities.

I haven't discussed my story, but I will say that - using the established vernacular Ė IF the f**ken adults focused on UNDERSTANDING AND HELPING this misguided person instead of exercising their own self-indulgent hysteria, then he wouldn't have just squiggled down a worm hole and targeted ME.

Necessary background - he was a serial molester who got caught while doing half the 8-9 year-old little girls in the neighborhood. So after all the crap he figured a cute butt was a cute butt (precisely his aim) and mine was his. And that NEVER might have happened if he got the help he needed.

Imagine for a minute if the adults took a different tack. Imagine if they discovered he himself wanted help. Imagine if they indulged THAT instead. He might actually have gotten - hmmmm - therapy? My neighbor friend who I think he also got to might not have withered up and died alone. My little sister wouldn't have gone through her hell. Another sister may be going through similar issues and I still need to find out if he got to her.

But no, the adults decided the plan would be to show each other their self-righteous indignations and literally scare the living perp out of this guy.

So many people have NO CLUE how damaging this mindless selfish rant is; it drove my molester to become an expert at raping under the radar, and made me feel complicit by association Ė terribly damaging all the way around.

I'm a real victim of that anger, because it drove my molester so secretively deep that he had impunity with me, and scared me - a scruffy little kid - to no end that I would be exposed to the same anger if I tried to get help. If someone had the f**ken guts to THINK instead of indulging in their self-serving rants, maybe this perp would have gotten the help he needed, I might have felt safer telling my mom and dad, and my sister and I would have been LEFT ALONE.

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#375684 - 11/17/11 09:17 AM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
Still Offline
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Originally Posted By: Chase Eric
So many people have NO CLUE how damaging this mindless selfish rant is; it drove my molester to become an expert at raping under the radar, and made me feel complicit by association Ė terribly damaging all the way around.


I'm very sorry to hear this, and very sorry you were the victim of a weasel digging underground. I look at the cocaine trade in example of the durability and adaptability of weasels. Nothing could be MORE illegal than cocaine in this country (by virtue of the number of laws and billions of dollars spent on destroying), yet I can walk into any city and find it within 30 minutes.

"Bad" adapts. "Evil" finds its way. Some bad creatures need to be put down. Some need fixing attempts...but anything and anyone whom enables, covers or facilitates their deeds, need to be dealt with similarly. IMO



Originally Posted By: Chase Eric
...Chase didn't mention "the f*cken kid" so he doesn't think about the child.


If that laser dot is on MY forehead, I apologize if it translated to you Eric. I was speaking fully about Globe-head.

Regarding rants here: I think someone needs to state the outrage into words, and that frequently lands on We The Victims.

Sometimes loud and protracted rants are what's required for waking-up all the slack-jaws out there (e.g.: Occupy Wall St).

Some of us were so badly silenced for so long that we need to get it out. If I could bring a bull-horn and my crayons and cardboard to State College, PA, I would.

I scream and stomp my feet as tactfully as possible though. I try to pull back the sheets and turn the lights on. I'm doing it in my town right now with the Lions Club who facilitated their pet habitual sex-offender's presence at every town fair (rich with unsupervised children). They want to believe that with the actual rapist in a cell, the crisis is over. I won't hear of it. I'm blaming the culture of enabling and want it ousted.

Its currently too easy for the public to turn away and look at a nicer picture. Liberating forces in Germany had to literally grab local folks (like living accross the street from the camps) and rub their nose into the hollocaust. I have virtually NO problem doing that.

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#375709 - 11/17/11 10:56 AM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Still]
Chase Eric Offline
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Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown

Its currently too easy for the public to turn away and look at a nicer picture. Liberating forces in Germany had to literally grab local folks (like living accross the street from the camps) and rub their nose into the hollocaust. I have virtually NO problem doing that.


Amazing - just saw Schindler's List last night. We watch it almost once a year around Kristallnacht as a vehicle of focus and remembrance.

I agree with you totally, Robbie - they had to rub their noses in it. It is one of the best decisions Eisenhower made (if I remember social studies class correctly).

The Nazi's ranted and raved and screamed so loudly that there was no room for other thought. If you weren't Heil Hitlering your way down the street, you were suspect. Mob mentality is a powerful thing, isn't it?

The allies just quietly exposed it. There was no proselytizing, no pontification of righteous dogma. They simply marched the residents of towns like Auschwitz, Dachau, Buchenwald, Treblinka, Belzec, Ohrdruf through the camps. The ghosts of the dead and the skeletal survivors spoke in a whisper - heard above the loudest screams.

It is disturbing to see the depths of madness and savagery to which an entire civilization can descend. The real lesson is how the most civilized and refined society in the world - a culture that gave us Mozart, Bach and Beethoven, poets like Brecht and authors like Thomas Mann and Herman Hesse, religion, science, architecture, theater, cuisine - how that could submerge so quickly and completely into the most basal, dark recesses of human behavior.

Nothing in the world compares to the sharpness of that decline - not even Rome going into the Dark Ages. And it was all because a nation allowed a someone to vent and scream and speak so loudly that he drown out any room for other thought.

When we scream, I fear we are speaking over those who have yet to find their own voice. The indulgence of others in the indignation of what happened to ME left no room for my own feelings. I'm still finding my voice, but when I do, I hope it is the quiet whisper of support for other victims - past, present and yet to be heard - rather than the loud daggers of useless rhetoric aimed at the perpetrators.

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#375801 - 11/17/11 07:16 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
lapchinj Offline
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Edited by lapchinj (03/18/13 12:02 AM)
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

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#375809 - 11/17/11 07:36 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: lapchinj]
Still Offline
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Jeff,

I just read your earlier reply. Yer hitting on some of our worst details in memory. The maintainance of our phisical wounds after the fact would go on and on and on. Besides wondering if we were gonna die, it was also key to keeping the secret. I still truly resent that about the perps. They never learned about the hell it was for us. I remember the pain running-on forever...continuuos.

For me, and many of us, healing was not stablized for years.

I dont know...I give-up trying to figure out some aspects.

I'm sorry you have such details in your memories too Jeff.

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#375816 - 11/17/11 08:25 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Still]
lapchinj Offline
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Loc: New York
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Edited by lapchinj (03/18/13 12:02 AM)
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

Top
#375847 - 11/17/11 10:55 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: lapchinj]
Chase Eric Offline
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Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
((jeff))

No offense taken - really. I was ready for some jet blast, by the way. It's a touchy topic I know.

I was going to write more, but I'd like to just express a simple apology myself - after all, I did start a rather provocative post.

It takes immense courage, Jeff, to be so humble. I respect that, I admire that - and I respect you. Still, you owe me no apology. We don't have to agree on everything to know we have each others backs.

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#375850 - 11/17/11 11:19 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
lapchinj Offline
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Loc: New York
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Edited by lapchinj (03/18/13 12:02 AM)
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

Top
#375870 - 11/18/11 04:16 AM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: lapchinj]
TOTAL.CONTROL Offline


Registered: 11/06/11
Posts: 12
Chase,

.....*leans back in chair & taps fingers*......I don't know man. Something about your post just seems a little..."off". & yes, my 1st thought was to flame you like the Wave Motion Gun from an old American/Anime' toon called Are Star Blazers. But I've learned that disgression is the better part of valor.

So taking a step back & looking at your statment & viewing it on face value. You seem to make some rather distrubing claims. Such as venting is useless, or talking about what happend to us is a kind of disgrace?? You even go so far as to liken we who choose to speak out to the NAZIs.....not cool Chase, not cool at all.

But in an effort to understand you, I was trying to view your own "rant" (to use your terminology), as a type of Stockholm syndrom. After all you have gone to much effort to cast a very....."understanding light" on what has to be the biggest slam dunk open & shut case (especially post phone interview) case of the centry!!! Yet you still labor to put spinn on this cesspool of REAL SELF INDULGENTS!

Yes Chase.....giving voice to an all to frequent problem is in no way indulgent. The carnal self obsessed acts of our abusers are the only decadent vermin here. Yes.....spinn. that's the word I've been trying to put my finger on! Polyticians & Lawyers are the only Spinn Doctors I know that have the skill to deftly control the public opinion in this forum.

But you didn't count on TOTAL.CONTROL. I don't need a sword of Omens to "give me sight beyond sight" (sorry but I tend to quote tv & movies a lot....its a copeing mechicnizium). So if its not Stockholm.....then what???

Well I do find it odd that you decloak from out of no where just as this Penn state blight has unfolded. & on (to the best of my knowledge anyway) the leading online sight that helps men cope with Abuse.......one so respected that its garnered the attentions of the Oprah show & soon to be on Dr. Phil....hmmm

Chase, I think I'll stop just short of drawing conclusions here. After all I'm sure your ready to lable me all kinds of crazy & or paranoid. But you know, there's a favorite classic tv show of mine that speaks to the kind of paranoia I'm sometimes accused of.

Gladis Kravitz was the town crack pot always calling the police & begging her husband to look out the window. But what even we the audiance tend to forget was that Samantha was a witch....& there were strange things going on in that house.

Mya Angelo was givin the power of her voice again by a teacher Mrs. Flowers who would not stand idol & watch a young girl get swallowed up by a brutal rape. So have a care the next time you try &.....silance what is by deffinition a DISCUSSION FORUM.


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#375908 - 11/18/11 12:01 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: TOTAL.CONTROL]
Chet Offline


Registered: 11/09/11
Posts: 16
Loc: Kingsport, TN
Well from the amount of remarks, back & forth, Chase's posts have gotten here, I don't think he's silencing discussion. Quite the opposite, Chase seems to have fostered discussion & even more importantly, thought. He's gone beyond the typical knee-jerk reaction with some thoughtful nuanced writing. I, for one, even as I don't quite agree with everything he says, applaud him for saying saying it.

However, I don't think he's earned such not-so-subtle innuendo as you seem to casting upon him. You seem to be insinuating some very base motives to him without any reasons with your personal remarks abut him 'decloaking' & such. I see no reason to attack Chase with such baseless insinuations. I take Chase for what he seems to be, a fellow survivor dealing with his pain in his own way & time. I'm thinking his 'decloaking' now comes from the same place my arrival here did, the pain brought up by the Penn St. 'blight'. Is everyone who speaks out after this to be suspect?

Address, debate & even, if necessary, attack his ideas, but not the man.

Chet


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#375909 - 11/18/11 12:04 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
Obi Offline
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fellas,

please.... let's not do this.....

please do not let what's going on with sandusky have us going at each other....

this is what perps want... for us to go at each other.. to have us fighting each other...

i'm asking that we get back to what we really need to focus on is those kids who were abused and trying to provide help and support to them....

we also need to help and support all the people that are joining this site now.

we had an influx of people join when the oprah shows aired. we are experiencing another influx of people joining due to recent events...

let's provide them with the support and help that they need because they are just starting their journeys to recovery and it's a very scary, very difficult, first few steps.... they don't need to see us fighting with each other... they need to see us supporting each other. we may not agree with each other but we must show unity in the common goals...

please... let's get back to why we are truly here... to help give and receive the support we all need to get through this...

thanks...

todd

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#375910 - 11/18/11 12:15 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Obi]
Magellan Offline
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Todd (Obi)

Thank you for posting this. Very needed.

For our recovery, for group harmony, we should strive to refrain from discussing politics, religion, and refrain from gossip or criticism of one another. Unity of purpose. - Adapted from Alanon literature.

D

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#375913 - 11/18/11 12:38 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Magellan]
Chase Eric Offline
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I'm targeted by a guy named TOTAL CONTROL. Tell me THAT doesn't trigger. eek

Seriously, I just really don't know how to respond to such a personal attack like this without just fanning flames. As much as I want to respond, you're perception about me - and your interpretation of my writing - is so off-base that any real foundation of discussion is lost. Obviously what I say presses a lot of buttons with you. You'll find good friends and good help here, TC. I have.

Trust me (or don't) - but it's a fact that the support here will be more effective when you drop that heavy dark coat of anger and suspicion at the door...

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#375922 - 11/18/11 02:15 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
lapchinj Offline
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Edited by lapchinj (03/18/13 12:01 AM)
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

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#375924 - 11/18/11 02:50 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
Preach Offline


Registered: 11/18/11
Posts: 1
The quarterback fumbled the ball tragically, but maybe the most important factor to think about is the social context of his gross insensitivity/uncaring/etc. We live in a world that, not too long ago, didn't didn't believe ANY reports of chid abuse. Adults were supreme beings and kids were not to be trusted. For the quarterback, Sandusky was a hero, not to be distrusted, and the kid is, still in many people's minds, just a kid who probably asked for it--which is what defense attorneys would love to claim, as they do in adult rape trials. F. Lee Bailey, the talking head attorney of late used to joke that victims of rape started out saying, Don't...stop, meaning they wanted it to stop, and once receiving this fabulous pressure, started sayin, Don't stop, meaning they didn't want it to stop.A radical thing to say is that witnesses to molestatin are victims of cultural influences. I was molested at age three and my son at age 12. This shit will never end until EVERYONE gets understood.


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#375941 - 11/18/11 05:25 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Preach]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
Preach -

Precisely. The last sentence especially. The last word ultimately.

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#375947 - 11/18/11 06:16 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
TOTAL.CONTROL Offline


Registered: 11/06/11
Posts: 12
[Content removed due to violation of site guidelines. Please review site guidelines regarding personal attacks.]



Edited by ModTeam (11/18/11 09:04 PM)
Edit Reason: Personal attack.

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#376075 - 11/19/11 04:53 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: TOTAL.CONTROL]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283

is this place safe?

eek


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#376133 - 11/19/11 11:22 PM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chase Eric]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1960
I have not posted here in a while, and for some reason posted on this thread. I had something to say but now really have no interest in saying. Nothing of offense, just serves no purpose.



Edited by ericc (11/19/11 11:32 PM)

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#376165 - 11/20/11 05:37 AM Re: I'll likely get FLaMeD for this - but here goes... [Re: Chet]
Drop Offline


Registered: 04/16/11
Posts: 121
I have to agree and say it's not as simple as being stronger then the abuser and therefore having to be able to stop him.
You don't know the coach's background, maybe he was molested too as a child? You don't know why he didn't stop him, maybe he was just to shocked to do anything?
He DID NOT keep it a secret though and even though a lot of mistakes were made afterwards it seems, it DID eventually come to the light.
The sobstory at the door, how can you blame him and how would YOU react if you suddenly got a microphone shoved in your face and are asked to give a reply to the whole story.
How would YOU feel that just because you didn't stop it right away you're now being burned at the stake in the media and probably by a bunch of your friends and coworkers too?
I wonder if those friends and coworkers and people from the media etc would have reacted had they been in the same situation... I doubt many of them would have been the hero we all think we would be, or should be.

I don't know the entire story cause it's not on the news here i think, but I don't know the coach either. None of us do.

That said I really do hope that if i'm ever faced with such a situation I would do the right thing and stop it, however I know that most likely I won't be able to physically, but if I were, well, I really am not sure how I would handle it.

Anyway my point is we all have strong ideas about how we think we would deal with things like this and how other people should deal with it but it almost never is that easy. Talking about and actually doing it are 2 whole different things.
I guess I just hope I'll never have to do the action part.

_________________________
Broken eyed and shutdown
Running down the road
Send me straight to hell
Watch me burn, watch me burn

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