Hi Guys , i attended another therapy session on Friday ,during this session my therapist asked me what coping mechanisms i have put into place , i told her that i listen to music i will read and that i have found posting here and on a couple of other forums (after silence and betrayed boys) helps me to cope with my CSA ,i told her that i still feel the guilt ,shame and embarrasment that i felt when my CSA occured she asked me why do i feel guilty about what happened and for the first time in 40 years i finally told of the secret my grandfather made me keep of how he had interfered with a young boy who was a friend of my uncle (my uncle whould only been about 10 or 11 years old )this happened when the young boy stayed overnight he was taking a shower and my grandfather told me that he went into the bathroom and masturbated my uncles young friend ,i feel so sorry for that young boy i felt that if i had told someone that i was being sexually abused by my grandfather that other little boy would not have been abused ,as i told my therapist what happened i started to cry ,my therapist asked me why do you think your granfather told you this ?i can only think it was his way of showing me that he could get away with whatever he wanted to as we were only small boys and no one would have believed us ,i never spoke about this to my uncle and his friend never came to my grandfathers' house again .

Andrew,

It is GREAT that you opened up about these secrets. It is NOT your fault period for what happened.

The fault is of the adults acting inapprpropiately - namely your grandfather.

I am glad you share what happened to you.

Avery

Andrew, That was awful! I also told no one and my younger brother was molested by the same Uncle. I can think of 1,000 'What If's'. Still the brutality goes on.

Not your fault, man.

Your Uncle was 10, how old were you?

I am very sorry. Relatives feel they can get away with the assaults! They feel they have a right, because relatives are realestate.

I pray you heal. I'm trying to heal along with you.

Regrets,
Don

Andrew:

Sounds like your grandfather made you feel like it was YOU that molested the boy in the shower. I suspect that was his purpose in telling you. Pervs are good at messing with our minds, and as kids we made the perfect targets, mentally as well as physically.

If the boy never came back to the house, he must have told somebody and thus escaped further abuse. Keeping that secret for years didn't harm him, it sounds like it only caused you further distress. Now you've told, so take a cleansing breath! Peace.

John

Hi Guys, thankyou for your replies, LO DON i was about 8 years old when this occured ,i am now trying to repair the damage that was done to me ,it is a slow process ,Andrew.

No, thank you Andrew!

. . . Been there; doing that! Will also try to repair the damage along with you.
I developed quite a sense of humor. I guess it is my defense mechanism. Slow process? I was hoping by this weekend; I have other things I gotta do!

Wish you luck on your journey to recovery. Don

No, thank you Andrew!

. . . Been there; doing that! Will also try to repair the damage along with you.
I developed quite a sense of humor. I guess it is my defense mechanism. Slow process? I was hoping by this weekend; I have other things I gotta do!

Wish you luck on your journey to recovery. Don