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#374121 - 11/02/11 11:42 PM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: Castle]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
ASA IS completely different in some ways from CSA. My rape happened 4 months ago and I remember every bit of it and each month is creeping like an anniversary. resources are non existant. and the idea of csa'ers hijacking asa forums, is selfish and concerning on their part. we deserve a space that is protected and focused on our adult issues.

i for one have NO need to reconnect with my inner child-
i wish to connect with the Self I seek to become, the best of what i am able to be.
I have specific anniversary reactions.
i remember my assault it was hardly a repressed memory.
I wasn't a little boy fighting off a man or groomed.
I was an adult male and i was raped in the middle of a medical emgergency-
i was raped with a smile and wink between two men who dont deserve gentlemanly understanding at all.
who used trickery, force and other measuresin the comfort of a dark dank cellar of a train wreck of a mans party pad to negate mechanical advantage, negate muscle resistance, negate martial art skill and negate my personal power- this and more was used to take a piece of my soul in a fight that was an opportunity created to exert dominance and hurt my spirit and body.
I want it back.




Edited by Tyr (11/02/11 11:48 PM)
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Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

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#374123 - 11/02/11 11:59 PM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: Tyr]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11075
Loc: Denver, CO
Castle, a parallel forum can be set up behind the member firewall. The pro of this is privacy from search engines such as Google and Yahoo. The other side of this is one must become a dues-paying member to access it behind the firewall.

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List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#374140 - 11/03/11 08:58 AM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: Castle]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
each time i log on a good amount ofpeople are readingposts. jut not replying tothem.i guess i would ask what kind of corrective measures could be implemented to make the site more safe and open to adults assaulted as adults that are men feeling ok to post?-

_________________________
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

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#374153 - 11/03/11 11:09 AM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: Tyr]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 728
Loc: NJ
Andy, I'm sure a forum can be set up behind the curtain, and yes people would need to be members to see it.

Tyr....Im very sorry for your pain and what you went and go through. i hope you can heal and work through this horrible experience.

A few thoughts though.

It bugs me a bit this CSAers vs ASAers...that is so the wrong message and what I thought most of us were here to avoid. I thought it was about male survivors, and I think that we break it down too far, we self segregate and issues happen. I can easily ask for a Incest forum, I think there are many challenges specific to that, and there would be interest, but I thought segregation is bad, i wanna talk to a wole variety of people, you never know what tidbit you will pick up.

I do agree that ASA has some unique challenges. Also that there should be a safe space to share without this Hijacking, but to lump all those that have experienced CSA as a group, is not completly fair either. I would also ask survivors of CSA to give some resect to those who suffered through ASA and not make them feel minimalized...there still is a difference in the number of open ASA vs CSA at MS that will continue to be an issue here.

I think there are a few logical options that are on the table, and Im not suggesting any of them, it doesnt relate to me, just try and help put some thoughts out there.

1) All posts have to go through a mod review before posting on the ASA public board...Similar to the progress forum...this adds work to a mod, and will slow down the conversation a bit because it will ened to be approved. This will not solve the google issue, and something that everybody has to be aware of and deal with on all the public forums.

2) An ASA section behind the curtain, will require paying dues, and is more secure...Might also need Mod support to prevent the Hijacking.

Both 1 and 2

3) start a site based on ASA on the web...It has happened before when people were not getting what they needed out of MS...I'm certainly not saying to leave or such, its just a viable option if ones needs are not being met.

From my two years here, I have learned that MS is more based on the greater good of being open to as many men as they can...Sometimes that philosophy clashes with some poeple or issues, and its just the way it is...While I cna say I dont always agree on the politics or how issues are handled, I can say that the people who run this site put a lot of time and effort into it, and that there is no way to please everyone and every issue.

As a side note, there are always gonna be more people reading than responding....for a variety of reasons....Some just havent found their voice yet, and just reading they are not alone helps make it through the day on to the next one...some dont feel their voices are worthy, or that others can get something from them...All from the hurt we experienced as a child or an adult. If your voice is strong keep writing, connect with some men via PM, start a private PM group with several members, this can be very valuable. Speaking about this stuff and our truths is really the way to get through and find a bunch of the AHA moments.

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My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#374158 - 11/03/11 11:47 AM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: Castle]
Obi Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1330
Loc: kansas
is there a way to create an asa behind the wall forum that users can use, BUT without having to pay fees for? plus, if they want to have the added members side then pay the fees, like everyone else, for that?

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#374208 - 11/03/11 09:50 PM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: Obi]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
not sure good questions.

_________________________
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

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#374210 - 11/03/11 10:04 PM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: Tyr]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11075
Loc: Denver, CO
Todd, I have my doubts. I'm assuming the member firewall was created for two reasons: one to afford a certain level of privacy, two to help with donations for the site, since it is a non-profit. Don't run solely on my assumption though. This might be a better question for the WOC, but that's just my upfront take on it.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#374217 - 11/04/11 12:43 AM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: FormerTexan]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
Hey F.T.

I am new here so I dont want to cross a line or any boundaries. But there are a lot of viewshere and not a lot of replies. we can all agree that is the case. what other ideas do you or others have that can result in more actual men asa's posting and replying. it seems like im in a great stadium with 1 percent attendance. and no that wasnt a 99 percent rally joke.

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Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

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#374224 - 11/04/11 02:14 AM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: Tyr]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11075
Loc: Denver, CO
Not at all, Tyr. My only concern for now is that the forum is being used to talk about the forum, rather than used for its original purpose. Either way, I'd post my own story if I thought it would do any good.

I'll tell what I'd be willing to do: talk in real time about it in chat at an appointed time. I'm picking up from this thread the idea of brainstorming, and would be happy to in real time. I work vampire hours so I am limited what days I can do that, but I have time next Tuesday night if that works.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#374227 - 11/04/11 02:47 AM Re: why cant this forum be protected [Re: FormerTexan]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
tentatively that could work. i agree w your point the forum is being used to talk about the forum. but lets consider one positive. communication of Some sort is occurring. i am seing threads that havent been touched in months. recent traumas glanced over. the first step in resurrecting something is to get activity yes? the right kind for sure so in that spirit PM me and i will see when we can talk in real time

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Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

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