obstinancy

i could fall - i will not - keep going yves
fight and we are here to catch you at the darkest moments

i say to myself - i just can't - for some reason - i do - i live
for ...waking up and seeing the sun???
i know that i do not want it to end - it changes -

but as time grows there is more faith in myself - and more of an innate sense of security with in me -

in part to you yves and all the people here

I am putting this back to the top of the page, because I am needing to be reminded again.

Leosha

Yves,

I get a lot out of silent meditation. If I'm feeling bad, I stop the voice in my head and go for a day hike or someplace where I can be alone for a long time, and I simply stop thinking. I look at things and let myself feel, but I don't verbalize anything. The longer I do this, and the more often, the less anything bothers me. I forget I'm there. Or better said, only the real me, the at heart me, the centered me is there. No voice whining or complaining, bored or hurt, just me and the world. This gives me great comfort. I find I enjoy the things I'm looking at in a new way, and a much more patient me emerges, one much closer to the best in me. By the end of the day or even of some hours of this silence, I usually find myself laughing again.

Of course the voice tryies to come back, but I just say to it, I don't have pay any attention to you now, and I go back to the silence. As time goes on the voice gets truly feeble and is often the beginning of more laughter. I eventually find whatever was bothering me (and it can be pretty big bother) ridiculous in the face of the world and of the simple beauty of life. The light gets brighter and the dark goes away.

Danny

Knowing that tomorrow the sun will rise once again for a new day and the hope that the new day will bring me new and refreshing energy to my life.

This is a 5 year old post that I came across today.

It seems fitting for a number of people I know that are having a really rough time right now.

You know who you are. I hope this helps if even a little bit.

And for anyone else having a rough time right now, I hope it helps you right now as well.

Jim

Interesting topic indeed, thanks Jim.

I'm desturbed though by the amount of people who say some varient of "my wife/partner/gf/bf" where does that leave me?

For me there is one answer, ---- and it's not hope.

Hope is the bright, stunning wonderful belief that some day things will get better. It's a good feeling and worth every minute of feeling it. I do not always feel hope though, ---- in fact the majority of time I don't.

for e, there is one thing that keeps me going. Persistance!

Even when I don't know why, even when I can barely move in he morning or am so taken up with dispare I'm stuck crying, persistance is wha keeps me going, the bare, unpleasant method of just trudging forward through whatever is in front of me simply because it's not in my nature to stopp trying.

there's a bit in lotr (the book, certainly not the film with that whiny git of a Frodo), where Frodo says to Sam "You keep hoping then mine is gone, I'll just plod along behind you" this is exactly what I feel. No hope, no prospect of improvement, no wonderful feeling of courage or vindication, simply the sense that I won't stop moving forward because to stop would be unthinkable.

It's not admirable, or pretty, or in any sense good, it's simply what I do.

Yves,

Let me say first that I love the quote you have at the bottom of your post since I wish everyone in the world happiness despite that I cannot always be a part of it. Anyways concerning feeling like all is lost I've been there. It started really young for me and I've been struggling with the same feelings for years now. The only answer I feel safe assuming is that aside from my insecurities about the frailty of human nature I can still count on that I'm still here, which in retrospect is a miracle to say the least. Call it learning to survive via the lowest common demominator. Anyways I'm not sure if my input helps but I hope it's taken for what it is. JS

The promise of a new day and new paths opening to me. The possibilty of taking one step closer to sanity and happiness. The love of my wife and daughter.

Hi, all.

This may sound like corny comments but, I found it to be true.

I live because I am a GIFT. I needed to know I am a gift.

I have found within myself that I am a gift after having a heart attack and overdosing with a 2yr time frame.

I started having "memories" 4 years ago.

When I "woke up" 16 months ago, the psychiatrist that I saw said I (we) have no idea why you are alive but, I do know you are a GIFT. She stated I hope you know one day how much you are a gift.

I have had a wonderful yet traumatic journey through the memories in the last 16 months to find ME and my gift of life.

I have not been at a "place" in my life where I have so much peace. It is possible. BELIEVE in yourself and your discovery. There are wonderful tools here especially the people here.

Peace,
DJ
DJ

Yves

For me it's the Love God has for me. No one, not my parents, wife, children, family or friends has a unconditional, accept me right where I am love for me. Most, if not all, of the problems in my life come from trying to make false intimate relationships into real love. Everyday I deal with the negative effects of such relationships. Besides my fellow survivor brothers most don't understand my walk. What's not understood is outcast. That doesn't help me. But God, He has me going through the good and evil in this world to make me realize his love. I didn't always understand his ways of showing me, but now I'm getting it. I don't like it sometimes even now. I do know His effectiveness though. True Love is tough love cause its the truth. The truth beat any falsehood. Gods love is the truth which keeps me going! mrd