Newest Members
JohnWC, KKumar, J44, Anura, reynel5
12420 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
MADcHATTER (54), Ready2MoveOn (44)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 32 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12420 Members
74 Forums
63788 Topics
445455 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#373910 - 10/31/11 04:43 PM I don't get it
trb1345 Offline


Registered: 03/09/11
Posts: 73
Loc: NY
Hey guys,

I don't understand how people can stand by me no matter what, and offer help in anyway they can. I don't feel like I deserve any of it. Parodixically, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for the ones I care about, and that extends for the most part to the general public.

I don't understand why it's so hard for me to believe that someone else might do the same for me, be it lending an ear, helping to fix my car, risking their life to put out the fire in my house, or flying through freezing temperatures (in a machine that has a tendency to drop out if the air spontaneously) to give the critical care I need to survive. Those are some examples of what I'm willing to do for anyone.

So when I need people, how is it I'm so shocked that not just one person steps up to the plate, but handfuls of people?

This confounds me.

-Tommy

_________________________
Inside all of us there's a wild thing.

-My favorite book.

Top
#373911 - 10/31/11 05:15 PM Re: I don't get it [Re: trb1345]
F.A. Offline


Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 229
Loc: United States
I know that feeling. It is that we were taught to please to be liked and accepted and in doing that for their pleasure we learned we were not good enough just to be liked for us so it brings up what you are experiencing at this time.

_________________________
F.A.

To be sick is to be fragmented. To be healed is to become whole, and to become whole one must be in harmony with family, friends, and nature" -Navajo-
Blog: http://csafresno.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/CSAFresno
My Story: http://tinyurl.com/78upvvu

Top
#373912 - 10/31/11 05:17 PM Re: I don't get it [Re: trb1345]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1714
I think this is common. When my T asks--do I think when another child or person is abused it is the child's or person's fault? I can answer no without a doubt. When he asks about me, I still think it is my fault. We have developed guilt, shame and self worthless view of ourselves. When you begin to talk it out it makes sense and I am working on this also. You are not alone.


Top
#373915 - 10/31/11 06:24 PM Re: I don't get it [Re: KMCINVA]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Hi, Tommy.

I can relate. It confounds me as well as to why others (many) will help me. I just saw my psychiatrists who asked "how many have helped you?" I stated alot. He then asked "how many did I allow to help me?"

He said as I allow others to help me - more and more - it will become easier to JUST accept the help.

You are GOOD and deserve help. US humans are made this way.

Hang in there.

A

_________________________
aka DJsport

Top
#373965 - 11/01/11 08:56 AM Re: I don't get it [Re: Avery46]
trb1345 Offline


Registered: 03/09/11
Posts: 73
Loc: NY
Thanks for the replies.

While I have started placing the blame on him, I still struggle with self-worth. Thats something I seemed to have forgotten (the struggle with self-worth).

The guilt got better over time, so you're right in that it stands to reason this will too. Thanks. smile

-Tommy

_________________________
Inside all of us there's a wild thing.

-My favorite book.

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.