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#372776 - 10/18/11 11:44 PM Feeling guilt for posting here
hesmybestfriend Offline


Registered: 10/18/11
Posts: 8
I'm new, I don't have personal experience with this.

I am feeling guilty for sharing my friend's story here. I have made every effort to be non-specific and respectful. But, I can't help but feel guilty for going to an outside resource.

I know I don't have another friend to share this with as they are all mutual friends and I am the first to know. I can't tell my family as he also beginning to get close to them.

I'm here because I want to be prepared and helpful. I don't want to make some common mistake that I don't even realize is significant because I didn't do my "research". But, part of me feels like that attitude makes it too much about my own comfort and not his.

I will not and have no plans to push him to talk more. Somehow (miraculously in my opinion) he is really doing remarkably well in life. I really can't even compare all he's accomplished with anyone I've met and that's all in spite of childhood trauma, it's amazing. During the first (and only so far) conversation I was sure to express this to him, he did not reply but I could see his body relax a little.

I guess I'm looking for reassurance that I am not betraying his trust but that I am acting on my intentions. It may be too much to ask and I'll try to accept it if experience tells you I'm making a mistake.


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#372811 - 10/19/11 12:22 PM Re: Feeling guilt for posting here [Re: hesmybestfriend]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
I don't think you're saying too much.

I will say, CSA has multitudes of complex effects. Even when you think you know them, you won't know them.

D.

_________________________
Female.

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#372859 - 10/19/11 09:13 PM Re: Feeling guilt for posting here [Re: Disappointed]
GoodHope Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 415
One side of it is overachievement (my husband is like that). There is nothing in your profile that says where you live or anything like that. Your user name is vague, you didn't use his name. It's all vague and really anonymous (even if you feel like you are exposed because what is shared here is truly personal). One sad note I need to add, you might think he could be exposed because his story seems so terrible that it must be unique--wrong again. The stats are horrifying, but I can't help but believe it is more common than we can even imagine, and for that I am truly sick and sorry.

_________________________
Wife of a survivor

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#372877 - 10/20/11 01:55 AM Re: Feeling guilt for posting here [Re: hesmybestfriend]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Stop the guilt trip. You have really done the right thing.

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#373165 - 10/23/11 11:33 AM Re: Feeling guilt for posting here [Re: whome]
hesmybestfriend Offline


Registered: 10/18/11
Posts: 8
thank you.


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#373223 - 10/24/11 10:46 AM Re: Feeling guilt for posting here [Re: hesmybestfriend]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Ho ware you feeling?
Better I hope

All strength to you

_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#373863 - 10/31/11 09:39 AM Re: Feeling guilt for posting here [Re: whome]
hesmybestfriend Offline


Registered: 10/18/11
Posts: 8
I am feeling better, I'm being patient. I feel like he is able to be a little more relaxed around me, nothing else major to report but if what I can be for him right now is a very safe and trusted friend I am excited to be that. I hope we'll talk about it again, it really seemed like he needed/wanted to. But, from reading I've done here and knowing him pushing him to talk about something this serious is not going to help.



Edited by hesmybestfriend (10/31/11 09:40 AM)

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