Newest Members
RodrigoBR, MJ545, Marant, BeingFound, journey4two
12332 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueelectron9 (48), Grunty1967b (2014), highflight (42), jocks44 (54), kitm1 (47), Porrick (44)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 16 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12332 Members
74 Forums
63413 Topics
443353 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#37335 - 07/10/02 04:51 PM Re: isn't this area for male survivors only?
SoCalJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
Lloydy,

The main directory describes this specific forum as follows....

"Open discussion for men who were sexually abused. All others please post in the Family and Friends Forum."

Beyond that, this forum is in the section for *Male Survivors* This place is for male survivors, not wives, not girlfriends, not boyfriends, not neighbors, it is for MALE SURVIVORS, and yes, i feel quite strongly about it.

I think the issue is there are an awful lot of sites for women and non survivors to post on and very very few for male survivors.

It would be nice if this board stayed the way it was set up, for male survivors only.

I think the line on the main directory is enough for right now, it discourages anyone other than male survivors from posting here and it seems to do a fine job for the most part.

I dont think it has anything to do with some rule made up by some previous moderator, and it has even less to do with alienating anyone from the site, it is the way it is for good reason, this is one of the very very few sites for males, with eight boards reserved for males. That is ok in my book.

There is a forum set up for friends and family, that is where they can post. I have to add that i was really discouraged to see how the thread by edwin garcia titled *on my way to freedom* went. Who else needs a place to post more than a guy like edwin? These forums are for people to post their thoughts and views on, period. If your inspired to reply, you reply, this is not a place for hurtful things of any nature to take place. If someone is doing something that is hurtful, report them to the admins, thats one of the things they do, it is not for anyone else to get into.

John

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

Top
#37336 - 07/10/02 07:49 PM Re: isn't this area for male survivors only?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
John
I'm sorry you feel that the forum isn't being used correctly, although your earlier post did say

Quote:
i am ok with the way things are just wanted to know why we have the rule?
Well, I have no hand in making the rules, and as a relative newcomer I wouldn't be so presumptuous to even offer "my interpretation" of any rules. But I did recieve a message from the administrators yesterday saying

Quote:
Actually there is no rule prohibiting spouses or significant others from posting in your forum. A former moderator tried to impose this a long time ago without consulting with us first. He left and eventually spouse's and significant others began posting periodically.
So my comments are based on this. And I think I have been as clear as possible in identifying my personal views.

Your point about Edwin -
Quote:
If your inspired to reply, you reply, this is not a place for hurtful things of any nature to take place. If someone is doing something that is hurtful, report them to the admins, thats one of the things they do, it is not for anyone else to get into.
I believe this is exactly the process that took place. I honestly know very little about this episode, or it's background and origins, so I really can't comment further on it.

John, I do hope that answers some of your questions and misgivings, and please don't think I'm throwing your quotes back at you, it's the easiest way to address your questions.

thanks
Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#37337 - 07/10/02 08:25 PM Re: isn't this area for male survivors only?
Bob Wheelock Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/14/02
Posts: 15
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
I am really new to expressing my fears, pains, thoughts etc. on a public forum. When I signed up or registered I did not fully realise that the name I gave, which is my real legal name, was what was going to be used publicly. I had thought that my username or sign in name would be used.
At any rate, I am one that feels comfortable talking with other men, who were abused as children or possibly have been abused as adults. I an open to getting their ideas and viewpoint. I do not use my fellow vicitms as a therapist. But unless the therapist is a survivor they too often do not understand.
I do not like to exclude people. But, I guess that I will use private messages to guys to ask about things that I just feel a non-survivor would not understand or have any real helpful views on.
Perhaps I am disillusioned a little, because I had a therapist who re-traumatized me and made me the cause of the abuse. It hurt alot and took some years before I would open up to another therapist.
I feel a kinship with the men who are survivors. For me, the private message is a way for me to feel secure in what goes out from my heart. I am kind of scarred yet (afraid)
Bob


Top
#37338 - 07/11/02 03:45 AM Re: isn't this area for male survivors only?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Offensive post removed.

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.