I sure donít know where the placement of a terrible event is the proper residence in oneís life. What you suggest makes sense to place a past situation behind ones current life experience, though doing so did not work so well for me. Maybe because I tried to leave it in an unlit room out of view thinking I could live a life unaffected by it. I believe what I did is much different than what you are saying. From this dark place the rape creped forward placing itself in plain sight though disguised in nightmares and strange, unexplainable reactions to current events. The rape then forged out in front of me creating rough and dark paths for me and those close to me to travel. I allowed it to remain my future focus which was not a bad decision at the time but I cannot continue to place it at the front of the line. So for me embracing the assault is the major hurdle for me to accomplish. I canít do this while it is either forced behind me or pushed in front of me for it is not simply an evil act hateful of another anymore. Rather it is now a powerfully driven part of how I view and respond to my world as much so as my motherís first kiss to my baby cheeks and my dadís powerful hand laid upon my shoulder guiding my decisions.
I think what Iím trying to say is that the rapeís effects are not separable from me. Iím not a helpless victim in countering all negative outcomes, misbeliefs or my bad behaviors due to it but nor am I independent either and to think I can be is a myth a kind of a magical type of thinking. Nothing will take it away but I believe I have the power and strength to continually turn my reactions to it into something healthy even maybe to my advantage.
Edited by earlybird (10/25/11 09:24 AM)
Balanced (My goal)
There is symmetry