im

Tyr,

You are correct in your pointing out that the ASA forum is eerily silent. There are reasons for this but we are not allowed to openly discuss them. I wish I was able to engage with you about this but I’m not, as others were not as well and I believe the ASA forum has died as a result.

This saddens me deeply and I wish that things were different but one cannot encourage change if one is not allowed to openly point to a problem that needs changing.

And some of us are just getting here, still, and still figuring out the layout of the new school...

Tyr, ours wasn't all that long ago either - only about two years - and I think I spent the first year just pretending it didn't exist because I couldn't stand looking at it. Then the first half of the second year right on the edge of self-destructing - until my little sis started dealing with her end of it (same incident), and that's kind of both helped draw me into dealing with it as well as hurt because it brings it all back.

I'm still in the 'stinging' phase at this point, as I've only recently gotten out of the 'avoidance/ignore it' phase myself. I think ASA without CSA is probably more rare and that also might be part of the lack of participation in this folder.

For what it's worth.

--------
Matthew

I for one discussed my ASA in the Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors Forum. I originally posted it here, but thought it might be more appropriate there. In any case, here it is:

Observations and Question (>>sorry - triggers<<)

Hey Tyr -

I "edited for brevity" that post in which I discussed details of my ASA. I guess I still have some reluctance to talk about that, even though discussing my CSA is - for some reason - easier? I should probably repost that portion I edited out as as a separate post - it's just that the ASA forum seems so inactive.

In short, although I suffered continuous CSA at the hands of a serial child molester, I also experienced - well I got raped at 20 in a bar after hours when the bartender fed me drinks at closing. I was an eager puppy and got kicked real bad.

I'll do it...

I think this is part of what actually makes the ASA forum so inactive. Folks who have had ASA but have CSA in their background tend to post mostly over in the CSA forums.

Which often leaves folks like me - ASA with no CSA - left in mostly lurking/reading mode as we sort of feel like we haven't really much right to say much in the CSA part of the forums since it doesn't apply in my case.

Yes, I'm learning that many of the after-effects are identical, but the fact remains that I was 38 when it happened, not a child, so it really doesn't have a place in being discussed in the CSA forum.

This is part of the reason I post so little around here. I read a lot. But I talk very little on the boards. I talk a little more freely in the chat - sometimes. But even there often when it turns to CSA-specific subjects, I find myself feeling a little bit the odd-man-out and quieting down.

I really think one of the reasons the ASA forum is so little used is because there is such a high number of folks that have both CSA and ASA, and while it does happen (obviously), folks like me who have ASA only, no CSA, seem to be a little rarer.

I hope this makes sense.. I'm not sure if I got my points across very well. But I tried.

I understand perfectly. It is true that many ASA survivors post in the CSA forum since that also happened to them. Fact is, my CSA was completely different in so many fundamental ways than my ASA. I really wrote out a lot of my feelings about both and it was very enlightening. But I would definitely be inclined to share/discuss my ASA here in the ASA forum.

then we all need to work together to rekindle this forum. post by post... so that it doesn't just go the way of an anachronism because its vital. but it can only live through activity and participation... please do your best guys to reply to threads and the more you do, others can do so as well. that is feedback and that is how healingand connections stay alive