Newest Members
RodrigoBR, MJ545, Marant, BeingFound, journey4two
12332 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueelectron9 (48), Grunty1967b (2014), highflight (42), jocks44 (54), kitm1 (47), Porrick (44)
Who's Online
1 registered (don64), 17 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12332 Members
74 Forums
63415 Topics
443366 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#372995 - 10/21/11 07:57 AM Where is everyone
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
ed



Edited by Tyr (01/10/12 01:32 PM)
_________________________
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

Top
#373011 - 10/21/11 12:00 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Tyr]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Hey bro ....

I'm here ...usually multiple times daily, but the lack of others here is reason for my silence. Seems like nobody is here, and those of us who are, seem invisible ...

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

Top
#373018 - 10/21/11 12:50 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Darkheart]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Glad to see some activity here, l just posted that l feel this whole site is the wrong place for me. I definitly have some issues others can't get their mind around but hey a little l hear ya goes better than silence.
Do l trigger men here? Its like my comments kill a thread if l post on it...l hardly reply to posts because of this feeling.
And l won't go into the all the unhealthy posts in some of the forums here.
Fuck this place?

No where else to go

_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

Top
#373024 - 10/21/11 02:16 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: men_of_hrts.dbw]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180


Edited by Tyr (10/30/12 06:00 PM)
_________________________
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

Top
#373038 - 10/21/11 06:13 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Tyr]
nevragan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/22/08
Posts: 907
Loc: NC
Hey guys,
I read your posts and see the pain you are going thru also. I haven't walked in your shoes as an adult being abused but rather as a kid. Normally I won't post in this forum because I really don't have any business to do so and respect that. I have sympathy for all of you here because I know what it's like to feel minimized and left out. It isn't right that everything is geared for early life abuse but I hope you guys don't give up either. Waves have been made in progress for men to be heard about their abuse. I know ASA seems to be the left out group but hope that it will change soon. I just want to say that I have been active in looking for resources and support regarding ASA. So far it has been slim in finding much on the subject. In comparison to 50 years ago, we as survivors are making progress in being heard. I know, it's not fast enough but it has gotten better for us. I have found that therapists and the mental health profession is behind in helping us. Something has to give and change. I commend your courage so far to talk about issues here. For now, all I can say is hang in there. Keep trying and never give up.


Top
#373096 - 10/22/11 07:53 AM Re: Where is everyone [Re: nevragan]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
thank you.

Top
#373097 - 10/22/11 08:12 AM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Tyr]
men_of_hrts.dbw Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 301
Loc: Orchidland Big Island Hawaii
Thanks for the support and feedback and thank God we all have MS.org...all of us.
Without this site we'd be forever alone.

_________________________
Doug>ASA Survivor (1x)
ECV 6001/MaTuCa Chapter 1849
E Clampus Vitus
"What Say the Brethren"
"Hang the Bastards"

Top
#373145 - 10/22/11 11:23 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: men_of_hrts.dbw]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11055
Loc: Denver, CO
I can't say that my ASA was violent, but I know it can be difficult to discuss.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#373147 - 10/22/11 11:27 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: FormerTexan]
Darkheart Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 331
Loc: Illinois
Mine was violent and damaging ...I find it easier to discuss as the years pass ...also, it's a source of healing to share it...

_________________________
My Story...

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...8711#Post348711

Top
#373203 - 10/24/11 12:53 AM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Darkheart]
Anomalous Offline
Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1344
Hi Tyr,

I do not think the lack of activity in this forum is due to the fact that information on the non-member side of MS is searchable.

By using a screen name that is not associated with any other account with identifying information, and not revealing one's current location or any other personally identifiable information, one can still be "anonymous" in a public forum.

I do not venture into the forums much anymore, and I post very infrequently. However, I do go into chat.

The information discussed in chat is not subject to search engines. If preferred, a temporary room can be created in chat for the purpose of having a specific discussion.

PMs are also another way in which real-time 1:1 discussion can take place in chat.

The Healing Circles which meet on Sunday and Wednesday and the Round Table which meets on Monday are also other real-time options.




Anomalous

_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

Top
#374056 - 11/02/11 10:11 AM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Anomalous]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
im

Top
#374066 - 11/02/11 11:03 AM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Tyr]
earlybird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/10
Posts: 1007
Loc: WA USA
Tyr,

You are correct in your pointing out that the ASA forum is eerily silent. There are reasons for this but we are not allowed to openly discuss them. I wish I was able to engage with you about this but Iím not, as others were not as well and I believe the ASA forum has died as a result.

This saddens me deeply and I wish that things were different but one cannot encourage change if one is not allowed to openly point to a problem that needs changing.

_________________________
Balanced (My goal)

There is symmetry
In self-reflection
Life exemplified
Grace personified

Top
#374423 - 11/06/11 01:56 AM Re: Where is everyone [Re: earlybird]
TheTwoOfUs Offline


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 149
Loc: USA
And some of us are just getting here, still, and still figuring out the layout of the new school...

Tyr, ours wasn't all that long ago either - only about two years - and I think I spent the first year just pretending it didn't exist because I couldn't stand looking at it. Then the first half of the second year right on the edge of self-destructing - until my little sis started dealing with her end of it (same incident), and that's kind of both helped draw me into dealing with it as well as hurt because it brings it all back.

I'm still in the 'stinging' phase at this point, as I've only recently gotten out of the 'avoidance/ignore it' phase myself. I think ASA without CSA is probably more rare and that also might be part of the lack of participation in this folder.

For what it's worth.

--------
Matthew

_________________________
Matthew

Adapt. Overcome. Survive.

Top
#377948 - 12/03/11 12:27 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: TheTwoOfUs]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1308
I for one discussed my ASA in the Gay/Bi/Trans Survivors Forum. I originally posted it here, but thought it might be more appropriate there. In any case, here it is:

Observations and Question (>>sorry - triggers<<)

_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

Top
#378172 - 12/04/11 07:32 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Chase Eric]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180

Top
#378184 - 12/04/11 08:30 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Tyr]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1308
Hey Tyr -

I "edited for brevity" that post in which I discussed details of my ASA. I guess I still have some reluctance to talk about that, even though discussing my CSA is - for some reason - easier? I should probably repost that portion I edited out as as a separate post - it's just that the ASA forum seems so inactive.

In short, although I suffered continuous CSA at the hands of a serial child molester, I also experienced - well I got raped at 20 in a bar after hours when the bartender fed me drinks at closing. I was an eager puppy and got kicked real bad.

I'll do it...

_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

Top
#378186 - 12/04/11 08:52 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Chase Eric]
TheTwoOfUs Offline


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 149
Loc: USA
I think this is part of what actually makes the ASA forum so inactive. Folks who have had ASA but have CSA in their background tend to post mostly over in the CSA forums.

Which often leaves folks like me - ASA with no CSA - left in mostly lurking/reading mode as we sort of feel like we haven't really much right to say much in the CSA part of the forums since it doesn't apply in my case.

Yes, I'm learning that many of the after-effects are identical, but the fact remains that I was 38 when it happened, not a child, so it really doesn't have a place in being discussed in the CSA forum.

This is part of the reason I post so little around here. I read a lot. But I talk very little on the boards. I talk a little more freely in the chat - sometimes. But even there often when it turns to CSA-specific subjects, I find myself feeling a little bit the odd-man-out and quieting down.

I really think one of the reasons the ASA forum is so little used is because there is such a high number of folks that have both CSA and ASA, and while it does happen (obviously), folks like me who have ASA only, no CSA, seem to be a little rarer.

I hope this makes sense.. I'm not sure if I got my points across very well. But I tried.

_________________________
Matthew

Adapt. Overcome. Survive.

Top
#378198 - 12/04/11 10:53 PM Re: Where is everyone [Re: TheTwoOfUs]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1308
I understand perfectly. It is true that many ASA survivors post in the CSA forum since that also happened to them. Fact is, my CSA was completely different in so many fundamental ways than my ASA. I really wrote out a lot of my feelings about both and it was very enlightening. But I would definitely be inclined to share/discuss my ASA here in the ASA forum.

_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

Top
#378793 - 12/09/11 07:50 AM Re: Where is everyone [Re: Chase Eric]
Tyr Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/05/11
Posts: 180
then we all need to work together to rekindle this forum. post by post... so that it doesn't just go the way of an anachronism because its vital. but it can only live through activity and participation... please do your best guys to reply to threads and the more you do, others can do so as well. that is feedback and that is how healingand connections stay alive

_________________________
Once you hear the details of victory, it is hard to distinguish it from a defeat.

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.