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#372951 - 10/20/11 09:12 PM I'm a fk-up.
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
I'm a fk up.
Can't pay my own rent cuz I'm a dumbass. When I tell my G parents theyre ginna tell me I'm a fk up and theyll be right. I just realized today the extent of my isolation. Yeah, it's hardcore.
Fk the world, fk me, fk my g parents and most of all , fk humanity as a whole. You know it's bad when the only thing you feel for other ppl is a deep seated fking hatred.
Peace, i'm out.

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#372953 - 10/20/11 09:13 PM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: kinghenri]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
Fkkkkkkkkkkk!!!! I can't even cuss because it's not kosher but i wanna so bad. I wanna destroy something!!

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#372954 - 10/20/11 09:14 PM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: kinghenri]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
F&*k people! Theyre all over the place. Like goddamned cockroaches!!

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#372955 - 10/20/11 09:16 PM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: kinghenri]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
I'm so full of hate, i'm gonna have to unload my rifle and put it away. I can't cry because the anger.

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#372956 - 10/20/11 09:18 PM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: kinghenri]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
(((((kinghenri)))))

Puffer


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#372960 - 10/20/11 09:25 PM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: pufferfish]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
Hey puffer

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#372971 - 10/20/11 10:42 PM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: kinghenri]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
(((((kinghenri)))))))

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

Top
#372988 - 10/21/11 01:18 AM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: Mountainous Buck]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
:-(

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#373006 - 10/21/11 09:51 AM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: kinghenri]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Keep releasing that anger in any healthy safe way, kh.

We attribute abuse-level reactions to everyday occurrence, fellow survivor. We tend to bring the whole of our considerable emotional weight to bare on issues of rent, asking for money or asking for time to pay the rent. This hurts us, it scares us, it frightens us and it cripples us.

kh, take a moment to smile at yourself in the mirror, as you would a child with a scrape on his knee. You are so valuable, so precious, so innocent. (((kinghenri))) You are among your friends and fellow survivors, and we are gathered around you, in support and validation.

Then, when you are more stable, ask for the help you need to support yourself in the present.

Sam



Edited by sasuva (10/21/11 09:54 AM)
Edit Reason: added the conclusion
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#373385 - 10/26/11 01:16 AM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: SamV]
Incognito Offline


Registered: 04/17/11
Posts: 105
Henri, just throwing this out there:

Do you ever get so angry that you want to scream, say how you feel, take a bat and hit a wall or something to take your anger out, but you can't get yourself to do that? Kind of like you are afraid of losing control? I'm asking since you said you wanted to cuss and couldn't, and you can't cry because of your anger.

_________________________
"If you're willing to carry the weight, feel the strain, push past the pain, and give more of yourself than others expect of you, the world is yours." - Dave Tate

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#373443 - 10/26/11 06:55 PM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: Incognito]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
@ Incognito
Yes, quite often but I learned to turn it against myself as that was my only option. My parents wouldn't tolerate my outbursts. Im trying to unlearn this and I have a rifle (a mosin nagant 91/59) that I take shooting.
It helps as an outlet. (it fires a very large bullet and has a steel butt plate and has significant recoil.
It helps me to "feel" my anger.

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#374421 - 11/06/11 01:05 AM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: kinghenri]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
btw i'm not psycho lol

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#374461 - 11/06/11 02:08 PM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: kinghenri]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
(((((kinghenri)))) Safe hugs.

It is ok to be angry. Sensing the anger is a good thing. The anger can be unhealthy if it affects you. You are among friends and fellow survivors. Also find ways to relax.

Peace,
Avery

_________________________
aka DJsport

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#375813 - 11/17/11 07:55 PM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: Avery46]
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 279
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
kinghenri I like this. I am always liking to hear new ways
that helps us get our anger out safely! xo


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#376151 - 11/20/11 02:19 AM Re: I'm a fk-up. [Re: Sterling]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
:-) :-( ;-) :’( :-)

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
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