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#3728 - 06/14/05 02:03 PM Gar....
RangerJ19 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 42
Loc: North Woods
I'm having a hard time right now.

The man I love is leaving to join the army. (I'm homosexual, he's not, so I can't exactly go with him into the army, and you have no IDEA how complicated things get, but we both love each other very much.) I am proud of him for wanting to serve his country, and for taking a brave step (he wants to be a sniper).

But I'm struggling to let go. Oh, I'm not giving up on him. This guy's one in a billion and I want him in my life no matter what.

But... See, it's hard for me to believe that if I let him go w/ no strings attached, which I know is the right thing to do... that he won't forget about me, that he won't stop loving me. I'm scared of a hundred things, like that being around all that macho BS will make him not want a friend who's so broken, beat up, and homosexual. I'm afraid that he'll despise me for being weak when the army helps him become stronger.

And I'm afraid for myself. It feels like I'm never going to have someone else love me for who I am without either demanding sex (from the homosexual community) or demanding that I not be myself (from my Christian community). That was what made my friend so incredibly dear to me.

I'm also very grateful for you guys. 'Cause if I didn't come here, even just to read and pray for people, then I wouldn't know that I'm not the only one who feels insecure about all his relationships, who struggles w/ either sexualizing things or trying to keep them at arms length.

I let my friend in, and it terrified me. And he proved that he was worth that effort. Now he's leaving for 5 years.

I'm just... I don't know. I mean I'll be all right. It's just hard right now and I needed somewhere to say that. Thanks.

_________________________
Life is worth living.
'Cause of legal issues and the fact i'm still trying to get better, I don't PM or chat w/ minors.

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#3729 - 06/14/05 02:28 PM Re: Gar....
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida


_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#3730 - 06/15/05 10:45 PM Re: Gar....
ShyBear Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 149
Loc: The American South
Quote:
The man I love is leaving to join the army.
Is this the guy you abused or someone else ?


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#3731 - 06/15/05 11:10 PM Re: Gar....
RockyMtJoe Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 97
Loc: East of Pueblo, Colorado
Yes.

I read this perhaps differently as I deal with
both issues: CSA and the "Army" our ar in Iraq and the conflicts in Afgan, etc.

I take care of business here and as well with my
"Army Family", I sort of adopted a medical unit
at Fort Carson, Colorado.

He is not going to summer camp; he is becoming a soldier and in less than a year will see combat.

He may well pay for his love of country with his life.

If you care about him siupport him, the Army now
cares less about much as to "gay" and such.Nor did the Army in late Vietnam years, soldier first and all else is secondary.


This is not a good post.

Get real friend. He made a choice and what is expect is that you support him and your friendship, never let "your problems" effect him.

Unconditional love and friendship is required.

It is that simple. We have lost what near 2,000
since "9-11" most all Marines and the U.S. Army.

Do what I do actually support the troops, not the Army or USMC.

I have read your other posts and will respond, kindly.

My words are also for all here.

We had a burial in my county yesterday, thousands attended, it was one of our own farm ranch boys killed in Iraq.

This war is a trigger for all.

Joe

Rocky Mountains
east of Pueblo

do a search on Yahoo for
Fort Carson killed in Iraq
damn long list


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