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#37277 - 07/02/02 08:39 AM Lying and obsession
embersglow Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/18/02
Posts: 19
Loc: Minn
Hi All.

I want to toss out a topic. Lying. Pretending. Creating a reality where good things happen. I do it a lot, and it takes up so much time. Obsessive thoughts.

Fear triggers it. Fear, then shame that I have lived like this, and fear that others will be mad at me for what I have done and not done. So I act like I have been working when I have not, and projects are unfinished, and deadlines past.

I've done this all of my life. Way back in school. I never did one paper, but became an expert in excuses.

Whew. And the time I spent in non-reality. Making up what I thought were believable stories. And I was attracted to women who lied. I just had a 2 year relationship with a woman who has recently admitted she is a pathological liar. 2 years. It was horrible, and I kept relentlessly pointing out her lies, and she kept relentlessly lying and covering them up.

What fun!

I am grateful to her though, because this morning I saw my inside auto pilot. And I was creating a scenario about a co worker and what I was going to tell him today about why I was behind.

And I missed saying hello to the world, and enjoying the sunrise. This is a good awareness, as the therapist would say to me!

Anyone else relate? I must have needed to lie at one time. Now, I want the truth and the peace of that.

Ken


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#37278 - 07/02/02 07:14 PM Re: Lying and obsession
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Ken
I was an olympian liar, I had to be to cover up. But it became a way of life, and a way to have what I considered a "normal" life. I would make stuff up just to have something to talk about, just because I thought my life was so unimportant to other people.

There is definately peace in the truth
Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#37279 - 07/02/02 07:53 PM Re: Lying and obsession
michaelb Offline
Member

Registered: 04/21/01
Posts: 211
Loc: cincinnati, ohio
I used to lie also....I guess it is because our lives are lies....Nothing seems real......michael


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#37280 - 07/02/02 08:41 PM Re: Lying and obsession
Anonymous
Unregistered


Men,

I too have struggled with lieing. I believe I did it because for so long I felt my "truth" was not enough. "I" was not enough. Therefore, anything I said or did was somehow flawed.

Yes, I have struggled with low/non-existent self-esteem for as long as I can remember. But, I am doing a little better now thank God. And, I often know without a doubt that my truth is enough! No matter what anyone says. And, if they do not like it I know exactly what they can go do.

rafael \:\)


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#37281 - 07/02/02 08:50 PM Re: Lying and obsession
orodo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/02
Posts: 735
Loc: Imladris, The Safe Haven of Ar...
Lying, white lies, half truths, complete fabrications, procrastination...been there done all that
still at it...exaggeration, for me it was all about control I guess, me being in control of my reality. Saying what I thought others wanted to hear. Never able to say "no". Always agreeable, always willing to please, whatever it takes, when I get around to it...

_________________________
It is better to be Dragon Master than Dragon Slayer. Some Dragons are meant to be mastered, others meant to be slain. Odin, Great Spirit, God, grant me the wisdom to know the difference. "May the Valar guide and bless you on your path under the sky"

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#37282 - 07/02/02 08:53 PM Re: Lying and obsession
Anonymous
Unregistered


Orodo:

I get where you are coming from friend! I have done these things too. For me it was about wanting to feel safe and accepted. I am glad I do not have to do this crap anymore.

rafael \:\)


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