Hi Guys as i have been going through various posts and i started to wonder how we decided on our user names and avatars ,i simply added my name to the year i was born 1963, my avatar on the other hand was slightly different i originaly inserted a photo of a motorcycle i owned it signified a passion (ok an obsession ) of mine lol , after posting my story in a couple of posts i now feel very safe here and that i am now among friends ,i decided to change my avatar to a picture of me aged 5 a happy little boy in 1968 3 years before my abuse started , now each time i post here i see myself there and know i am slowly trying to repair some of the damage that was done to me ,i am so glad that i have found friends here on Male Survivor ,THANKYOU ...Andrew.

Hi Andrew (awesome name, by the way).

Mine is a picture taken in 1976 when I was a couple months shy of 12, and a couple years after some of the most abusive events. I was living in Texas at the time, and moved away a couple years later.

I hated those glasses. Who would've thought they would be back in style?

Andy

Hi Andrew and Andy,
I keep a really detailed journal and three weeks after disclosure in the journal l was abbreviating HRT for Hostage Rape Torture. On one entry l wrote, [ I wonder if there are any other men of hrt that survived the man who got me ] It quickly dawned on me l was a survivor, hence the HRT/S.
Hostage Rape Torture/Survivor
and later
H-seek HELP
R-REPORT the crime
T-TALK about the trauma
S-stay in SURVIVORSHIP

dbw are my initials: Delta Bravo Whiskey was my call sign on the CB radios we used in the 1970's.

Then 18 months after disclosure l found MS and used a stock moon avartar untill l got a computer last November 2010. On New Years l shot the current avatar image on a webcam and was exploring the graphics and this came out of a series.
Kinda' looks like my reaching out has been touched. Perfect for my MS avartar.

Oh, and l recall using a badly uploaded hand drawn mess for awhile, l was a mess inside so l just left it up. Hate the underscore, but heck, l knew very little about computers back when l disclosed. LOL

Thanks Andrew and Andy for the opportunity to explain and read about your avatar and usernames.

Great posts and usernames Andy, Andrew and Delta Bravo Whiskey !
I've used my pseudonym (Pero Peric) usually when I'm on line. It could be translated into English like Mr. Nobody. It is a real but very funny sounding name in my native language. Sad thing was that I've used this identity since 2009 to reach some porn web pages and I've really felt like nobody at that time. I'm shameful because of this (and some other things too) but I've accepted my past and my shameful side. Now I'm using this name just for healing purpose it keeps me somehow focused on my recovery.
I came from mountainous country and I adore nature so my avatar is picture of an mountain which reminds me visually on my country and my origin. At the top conditions are very wild and scenery is very beautiful. Weather is changing there almost every minute, it's very unpredictable and could be dangerous. That is exactly how I feel sometimes.
So I'm here with aim to conquer mountain inside me and willing to lose side called Pero (Nobody) on that path; I wish I would go back down as a new person !!!
Pero

Hi, my fraternal brothers.

I use my real name, as they had already taken my emotions,innocence, mind, body, soul and future. It's the only thing that i had left by my 17Th birthday.

My avatar is me at between 11-14 years of age, in an orphanage/Home.

My signature is Irishmoose. I am of Irish decent. first part of signature.

The moose part came from a nickname I picked up while I was in the Air Force for 23 years.

My nose was busted as a baby (according to my "mom") by my father (whom I've never seen), but had a sister 3 years younger.
Plus my ears stick out and looked like a mooses antlers (rack).

So between my nose & ears I looked like a Moose and there you have it.

I combined both of them to add to my signature Irishmoose.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

My avatar is a rendition of a photograph of me when I was almost 4 years old. It was made by an artist. She added wings and some kind of a cap to the rendition. I did not really have wings . It was before abuse (csa).

What you see in my avatar is a scanned rendition of the original. The original is much larger and the artist has me standing on a futuristic reflective globe which in turn is supported by a pillar with a foundation. Actually it looks like what we call in science a static generation machine. Maybe she expected me to generate some static. I seem to have lost the scanned version of the original. I'll try to find it and post it, but not as an avatar.

Allen

P.s. (edited 11/29/12) Since the above was written I have change the avatar a couple of times. It is now a photo of me when I was 10 years old. I was in a row boat in West Virginia. I loved boats and I was thoroughly enjoying the boat ride. My sister was seated beside me. You might observe her shadow on my left arm. I have cropped the picture so that it just shows me. That afternoon we went to see speed boat races.

Puffer

My username obviously has to do with time. It's strange sometimes how certain events in you life feel so far away in time and others feel like they happened yesterday. In a way Clokwise is almost a dig on myself because there are so many times in my life where I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do over. But no matter what time keeps moving forward.

My avatar is a picture of me when I was about five. I believe it's around the time the abuse happened. I use it because it's the only picture I have of myself as a child and Because it reminds me of my dad; before he passed he showed me a picture of himself at about the same age where he had the exact same nervous expression on his face. I don't have that picture of him anymore so this picture reminds me of my lost innocents and of my love for my dad.

My username is a combination of my wife's name, and my first and last name. She has never hurt me, she is my innocent rescuer. I began to live when I married her, 23 years ago, and my life has moved away from my abusers and those who would support them. She and I, and our children are my life now, and the others are in the back round, not hated, but not intimate either.

The photo is of me when I was about 25, just starting our family. A few short years before that, I had left my family of origin's(SA PREV) home and lived on the street for a couple years, then I got a job and lived with dominant, controlled men until I was finally kicked out of the last place I would live with alone, before my darling wife and her sensibilities in arranging our finances to be able to support an apartment and vehicle, a life without support.

Had I known then what I know now.., thanks for the topic.

Sam

I use to get asked about my username because it was different in chat when I would go there. I took Freedom because that is what I sought when I first came here at the end of 07 in serious distress. 49 is the year I was born. There was not a whole lot of thought in that at the time.

For some reason I was confused when they asked for another nickname for chat and it never dawned on me I could use the same username. I thought about it for a while. My dad was very religious and did some pretty amazing things spiritually. I wanted to be better than him for obvious reasons and so I thought of two characters in the old testament bible that were close. Elijah and Elisha. The latter did twice the miracles thata his mentor did in his day and I liked that symbolism. I wanted to take the good parts of dad and leave the bad and do better.

It kind of back fired in a way because those not familiar with the characters always thought it was a girls name and I could not change it. I don't go into chat anymore so it doesn't matter now but it was kind of tedious at times.

The taking the good and leaving the bad still has a lot of significance still.

My username is just my initials with 01... the 01 standing for me being the first and most important person with those initials. Version 01, Number 01, most important 01. I am important, I do mean something, I am relevant.

Its a reference to Pink Floyd's album of similar name. My avatar comes from a scene in the movie made from that album.

Good thread Andrew!

My user name is my first initial and the first part of my last name, and I was born in 1953.

Paul Berteaux 1953

peace

paul

mine speaks for itself I had to cover some new ground

Mine is easy as well, John is the English translation of my real name, and 22 stands for the age I was when I first entered here.

Mine is very easy as well. I really didn't think about it when I set up my account. It is composed of my first and middle initials and my last name. I guess I was ready to stop hiding!

mine is fairly easy as well... - Jeff is my name - JT is my initials (I know... a lot of you reading this are now saying why TJ in my user name insead of JT? - it's the initials reversed which is significant to me because I feel as if I was raised the opposite of how I should have been raised)

my avatar is a pic of me about 5-6 ish - it's when things where pretty much the worst for me in regards to the S/A, M/A, and P/A

My name is Henri and I put the king there for a couple of reasons.
1. I'm a badass... Lol
2. I was at a rave once with my ex and this guy gave "King" as my " Rave name" (it didn't stick lol)
3. Idk king sounds cool.
Awesome post!!

Mine has a couple of components to it.

Atari is the me paying homage to one of my favorite childhood pastimes, my Atari 2600 game console.

I am a HUGE Rush fan. The "kid" part is a reference to both my childhood love of video games, but also my present love of the band Rush. They have a track called "The Analog Kid."

Finally, the 86 is a reference to my year of birth.


The avatar of the Pac-Man ghost makes me happy. The image makes me smile. We discuss a lot of dark stuff here on MS. I wanted something a little lighthearted. I hope it's made someone smile seeing it.

Hi Buddy, i think your choice of avatar is great , i can't believe how far computer games have come since we first bought our Atari 2600 video games (starting to show our age ) lol ,thanks for posting ,cheers Andrew.

From my intro here, back in September '08:

"My screen name is the name of a monster I used to have in my nightmares during early childhood; half-fish and half-chicken, in my dreams it would rise up from behind the headboard of my bed to come after me. Fishy Chickens turned out to be the least of my troubles."

Peace,

John

My name is the main character from a favorite album of mine, Clutching at Straws by Marillion, and character in the album is a man who trudges through life in an alcoholic daze, watching the world crumble around him. My avatar is a work of Roger Dean, who does most of the album covers for Yes, another favorite band of mine. As you can tell, I love music.

My username was jointly decided upon with some discussion between myself and my sister. "TheTwoOfUs" came about, because although we each have children, "the two of us" are all that's left of our original litter. We were two of four children, we've lost two siblings to various health problems, and our parents to health problems of their own.

So it really is just "the two of us" at this point, and with our spouses both walking away, we have learned to meld our households together in support of each other and for survival, while still giving each other the space we need when needed.

The avatar came about at my request after we discussed the user account and she basically told me it was mine. I asked her for two wolves and she kindly did so. Those two lone wolves are us - and hopefully our pack will grow inwardly and outwardly as we both progress through this process.

Perhaps someday I can ask her for wolves that are no longer in shadows.
_______
Matthew

The name of a fictional virus that had an 80% fatality rate, from a game called Terranigma.

I am Just Me....

I used this as my first email address back in college in 1997, I came here around 2002, was seeking something I had memory of, and it fit.

I had played french horn throughout college, and it was something consistent. I really enjoy the horn, have one that needs fixing too. Kind of like me....hmmm.

OK then...there's one question I've been wanting to ask all answered for me.

As for mine: um...take a wild guess.

When I was registering, I think I confuzzled the login names and real names and screen names...and who cares. There are 750,221 Robert Browns in this world. I get blamed for a lot of bad credit and warrants they have. Many of us share the same birth date.

REALLY??? I can't stop trying to picture the darn thing. What would he look like?? Thanks John!

The way I remember it was basically a fish with chicken legs stuck on the bottom. I was thinking that this is probably why I didn't get chosen to be God, but then I thought, God made the platypus, so go figure.

Let's sponsor a contest to see who can draw the best likeness of the half - fish - half chicken avatar.

Puffer

I chose Chase because I am a person of action as well as a writer, and thought the best user name was an action verb. Chase just about says it all - chased by demons of my past, chasing a better future - my whole life has been about the chase.

Eric is a part of my actual nickname which in turn intones "Viking". When people call me Eric (var. Eirik), they are pretty close to calling me what my non-virtual friends do. Although usually called by my main nick, if someone shouted Eric right now, I would turn my head.

Truth is as important to me as the safety of anonymity. Finding a way to do both actually caused me to fret a bit. That's why my signature says "under pseudonym" - I can at least be honest about not being totally "honest".

Interstingly enough, when I joined MS I almost said the hell with it and used my real name. But the site guidelines strongly discouraged that, and so I figured I'd go pseudo. I'm glad I did - I had a bad experience here where someone attacked me and threatened to hurt me. I now have no regrets using a pseudonym and strongly encourage everyone to do so.

My avatar will likely rotate through a series of childhood pics and in one case my childhood portrait (done by an artist in Toronto, Canada when I was 9). Don't be surprised if my cat Chadwick shows up as an avatar

No way !!! I was just gonna say that...cept I can't draw. I was gonna ask my artist daughter to draw one, but she'd ask why, and my ex would object, and the courts, and the lawyers, and congress, and child services and ....oy!

Yeah...Let's have a contest!!!

Oh, you're just jealous because you're all fish and no chicken! LOL

OK, I 'chickened out'.

Pufferfish

p.s. I'm a puffer because I huff and puff on my horn.

My screenname comes from the idea that in my world, sex should come with strings attached... good strings... I love being attached to my wife in every way. And no strings attached sex is not at all good for me.

I am not ready to put my real name out there nor am I ready to post my face on the site. Scary thing... one of the avatars I have seen looks like my perp (older bro) shortly before I was molested.

I made my avatar after a session with my T when he was describing the victim => surviving => and thriving cycle. It shows survive as smaller than thrive because the goal is to thrive but first we need to survive.

they are both connected because in my therapy, they are inextricably linked, one building upon the other.

Love this thread.

I'm gonna have my babygirl work on this. Her first reaction was a "fuzzy chicken." Ain't they already 'fuzzy?' Then she could do a fish being eaten by a fuzzy chicken...

This is SO SO hard. I'll not rest til someo n e .....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

My screen name is well...my name

Normally I use all kinds of names on forums, but here I want to use my own name. Mostly for the reason for myself that I can't starting to hide behind a name and the fact that I am proud on myself that I came here.

My avatar represents the fact that I work as composer in the music industry and that music has been such a big and important part of my life in many ways.

Another fellow musician. Yay!

He didn't ask me to put up this link, and in fact I didn't get permission either. But here are some links to Jaap Visser's music: (if this bothers him, I'll be glad to remove this post)

http://www.myspace.com/jaapvisser

http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaap_Fischer

http://twitter.com/jaaptwitt

Oh wow I forgot my myspace hahaha, didnt look there for at least 2 years... The myspace account is correct btw

The other links are not me Jaap Fischer is an older aged singer (and everybody here asks if I am related and I am not haha).

I also don't twitter so that can't be me, but Jaap Visser is a horrible common name here.

My link to my website is: 3 Peak Audio
It's the website of the company I founded. It is not completely up to date. We really need to update it, but it has been busy, chaotic (with work and also my personal life the last year).
More music from me can be heard at: Yooka Music (where I sell licensed music, but here it is easier to find out the type of music I write for work).


Are you a musician as well FormerTexan?

I chose Incognito because there's a side to me that has been hidden from the world and is now slowly making its way out.

My user name is an animal totem that came to me during a powerful men's training weekend over three years ago.

(My nickname at home is also a four letter animal starting with BU- hence my avatar - only the name Bull relates to my zodiac sign and personality traits of being defiant, strong, knocking things over, stepping on toes, and snorting when little things don't go my way.)

But the name "Buck" rings more true for me on this powerful path of recovery.

This realization was part of 40+ intense hours in April 2008: learning to connect to my strength, to my mission and to my spirit. This animal was with me as I faced my fears, my weakness, and my shame. The "Mountainous" part resonated with me after I did this work, so I added it to my animal name.

"Mountainous" reminds me that I shall not hide or disappear, that I CAN withstand the shocks and trials of this life, and that my strength is deeply grounded. It connects me to the mountains I often visited in my youth: where I played, tested myself, excelled outdoors, and found freedom and solitude. It was during one of these trips to the mountains when, struggling with my life, my drunken despair, and my future, I made the decision to humble myself and choose the path to sobriety.

The Buck is part of God's creation-so am I.

The Buck is strong, and stays strong by seeking what nourishes him. The Buck is alert, protects his herd, and knows how to fight for what is his.

Here is what some spiritual people say about the buck:

I love reading all the explanations for the names and avatars you all have chosen.

Here's mine:

My user name is "traveler" because that describes me well - never content to settle in too deeply anywhere. I've lived at over 25 addresses on four continents and have visited more than 30 countries. This is all probably part of either searching for something or trying to escape something - or both.

Obviously, I am on a metaphorical journey as well - or maybe a spiritual and emotional quest - traveling from a place of darkness and pain in hopes of finding a place of inner peace and healing.

My avatar is a detail from “The Sacrifice of Isaac” by the Italian renaissance artist, Caravaggio, painted in 1603. (BTW- he was a troubled soul - I would guess he had experienced his own set of traumas!) It shows the split second when an angel intervenes to save Isaac, who is about to be sacrificed by his father, Abraham. But Isaac does not yet know what his fate will be. He is still expeccting the knife to fall. He cannot see the angel above and behind him restraining his father's hand. This picture resonates with me because of several reasons: the victim’s fear, the attacker’s power, the religious context - that part is really complicated! It sort of captures the way I feel - ultimately a survivor - because we know the end of the Isaac story - but not yet experiencing the full freedom of what is to come - still pinned to the altar, still feeling the terror, still anticipating the ultimate pain... Hoping for an angel to intervene!

Regards,
Lee

I am amazed at what I have learned so far - how paradoxical that assumed identities would reveal more about who we really are than our "real" ones...

Names are either contractions of actual ones like Sasuva or symbolic of new found attitudes such as Mountainous Buck.

Avatar images consist of old images of ourselves, artwork we have created such as String Attached, or art of others that means something to us.

It's a wonderful thread and I have read each and every one with great interest.

Most recently, I now understand why Mountainous Buck uses a BULL as an avatar. I was always curious of traveler's avatar, and had an "of course!" moment when he mentioned Caravaggio (I saw an exhibit of his in Rome two years ago).

Keep up the good work!

edited for safety until forum is safe

Andrew,

This is an excellent topic for a thread and I have been wondering about some of the avatars and user names until I found this thread.

My avatar is a picture of me when I was 10 years old. My abuse started at age 12, so I wanted a pic of me before my innocence was stolen, although my childhood was never happy. (Notice that I am not smiling.) I was going to use a pic of me when I was 11, but that is the age I turned into a geek, so I didn't want to use that. BTW, I am not a geek anymore!

My user name is more of a wishful thinking name. I have survived undefeated thus far, but I still have doubts about if/how I will make it in the future, so it's an optimistic user name too.

Glad i'm not the only one who'd been curious about the story behind "Fissy Tsickens"- and now i've got a new surreal image that will pop in my head whenever i read his posts

"dgoods" is short for "damaged goods", which was the shortest way to describe how i'd felt for years- and it was so important to me, such a relief, to NOT feel like i had to put on the old costume of "nothing's wrong" that while it might seem like a negative username, it's a positive reminder to me. To paraphrase Mr. Rogers, "I like me just the way i am"..

The avatar is a still from the movie "Blade Runner"- i could write pages about the movie's (and book's) themes, characters, symbolism, and the relevance it all has for me- but i'm not going to subject anyone to all that. If you've seen the movie, you probably have an idea already. If you haven't, well- rent it already, it's a great movie!

I had glasses like that too and I hated them. I used the photo that was the year before I wore them in the school photo. Maybe someday I will get brave and change my avatar to that pic. Your pic looks great in comparison to my 11 year old pic.

Just changed my avatar - So I thought i owed an explanation...

Also i'd like this thread to resurface because others may want to intoduce themselves in a little more detail this way - I think the explanations are fascinating!

Here's an intro to the "new ME"

My new avatar is also a Caravaggio painting – David with the Head of Goliath, 1608. Recently I’ve been feeling like I’ve made some progress and don’t want to identify as much with the victim status of my old avatar, Isaac being sacrifice.

David – still little more than a boy, but a strong and confident boy – strides forward purposefully, soberly aware of the magnitude and significance of his recent actions – and displaying the evidence of his triumph – the ugly head of Goliath. David is not only a SURVIVOR of his battle - but a VICTOR! He has slain the evil and destructive giant that mocked him, belittled him, and sought to kill him and enslave him and his people. Though smaller, out-classed in weaponry, and physically weaker, through his faith and a seemingly hopeless effort, David has WON - and in the process has become a MAN and has been recognized as a HERO.

The giant to me symbolizes not the individual abusers – but the power and control they and their actions had over my life for so many years. I am in the process of defeating and destroying and KILLING that oppression and expelling its effects from my mind, emotions and body.

“Caravaggio painted three versions of David (and Goliath), all centered around the theme of *transformative justice*; that is, the way in which the defeat of Goliath affected David. David is inextricably attached to and defined by Goliath. Caravaggio’s "David and Goliaths" represent the underlying action that made David great: the defeat of the profane giant …" (caravaggista.com)

I’m not there yet, but with faith, hope, hard work and perseverance, I will be some day. And some day, I’ll no longer be “inextricably attached to and defined by” my history and battles with the giant. That will only be one of many details that made me who I am.

Hopefully,
Lee

Me too!

Lee,

Is this a "heads up"? ( )

I like your new avatar and your discussion is meaningful.

Puffer

Yessir,Puffer,

I think i'm making some progress. I think i might even be starting to like myself a little bit more. more hopeful and getting some self-confidence and sense of autonomy.

Thanks for the acknowlegement. I usually appreciate your posts a lot.

Lee

I've used my avatar on various sites for quite a while now.
It's Alita from Battle Angel Alita a Japanese Magna character.
There's some parts of the story that I really identify with.


Beeshive, is also a screen name that I've used in other places.
I legally changed my name to Bobbie Bees a few years ago in an attempt to put what happened on CFB Namao to rest. Well, it didn't work for that purpose. But it did let me move on in other aspects of my life.

Hi Bobbie,
I adore Japanese manga and I like your avatar. I've gave very short look on Alita's story and I've find it interesting. When I'll have more time I would like to read it !
Discovering our own past and look for answers is everlasting quest for many of us.
Be well!

Hiya's,

My username is my initials followed by a set of numbers that have special meaning to me. My av is of me at 10, just after the abuse started. I picked that one so I remind myself of who I must be true to first before all others.

Tommy

Daniel is because that's the alter who made the move in the internet to find some help. forgotten is a combination of things.. like.. since we have DID parts like Daniel might be forgotten and negated. -"he" doesnt exists it's just that i am crazy- kind of thought happens often.. also, the feeling so many people i met in my life just tries to forget about me to move on because im a pain too hard to handle.

my avatar is something sad and funny at the same time. "stupid ugly monkey" is how i was called as a child sometimes by my dad. it was an affectionate name. dad both loved me and abused me. i both love him and hate him.

when you type "stupid ugly monkey" this image pops up, with an additional word: "stupid-ugly-ANGRY-monkey"

Daniel forgotten...

Great topic, Really loved reading about the avatars.

It Should be Who-me but it ended up whome, and that is for the times I was asked by my Dad are you being abused, and I would reply Who Me????
Only told him three weeks ago about the abuse and he said "I knew it, why didn't you tell me" How do you answer that?

The avatar is a geological matrix, and the group I have started is called Matrix men, meaning a hard outer shell with Gems inside. Pretty much like all survivors, we have developed a hard outer shell, but we are all Gems inside.

Thanks for the Great Post.

Martin

My global answer to this, although I havent told my parents this...I never felt safe enough to say anything.

This is a great thread.
Thank You to all of you who have shared your names and avatars.
When I was a little boy, I wanted to be named "Evan" instead of my real name.
I thought I would be perfectly happy if I were named Evan.
"EvanCan" is a name to signify that Evan "can" heal, grow, recover, mature, and be happy.
My avatar is a beautiful creation of God who swims majestically and powerfully and inspires wonder and joy in others. That's who Evan and I want to be.
Shalom.

Evan,

Good going.

Puffer

my user name (Forexpreneur) is because I am an independent currency trader.

My avatar is stock but I picked a tiger because I identify with them so much and love them. Plus when I was a little guy there was a very supportive male adult Native American that I had an affection towards who called me "little tiger".

When I first started here my username was BrokeNShattered. Because that's how I viewed myself. It described my messed up, damaged, broken self.

I still feel that way a lot....

BUT I started up a new account after getting into some healing and decided upon my current one.

It's who I am. Just me. No more, no less. I am who I am, nothing more, nothing less. Warts, wounds, and all.

As for the Avatar, I've gone through quite a few in my times here. The current one is by an overlook near where I live and yes that's me there. I'm leaning against an alter that someone built there, and in the background you can see the shadow of that alter on the ground.

Just Scott

Easy one, Simpsons fan

Just needed to bump this lovely thread

I have changed my avatar.

I edited the previous post on the avatar at:

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=372486#Post372486

Puffer (Allen)

Here are previous avatars I've used:

Age 4 (professional photo)


Age 3 1/2 (artist's rendition)



Age 4 (Tweetybird fantasy)



Age 6


Age 7


Age 11

.

I often use variations on the "gecko" theme as screen names. For me, the gecko symbolises the fight to survive. It's a long story...
I also have a tattoo of a gecko on my right wrist... covering the scar from a suicide attempt when I was a teenager. Anyway, "gecko" was taken, so I added the "crazy" part, because I'm am a little crazy at times!

My avatar is stock. I stumbled onto it when I was googling for a header for my blog. I thought it represented me - the little boy who is afraid to face the world, so he hides his face...

Oh yeah, sonebody at the office saw me carrying a handful of old pictures the other day when I was looking for one to scan for my avatar.

On one of them she said, "Oh, you look like the Jeremy kid in the Pearl Jam video."

Nice.

Will

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Very cool song Gary!It sure strikes a cord! Thanks for sharing it.
Sentry

I've just wrote poem about place where things has happened in my childhood and it came to me that my avatar is nice hill or mountain that reminds me of my homeland as one side but at other also to hill where everything happened.
Anyways I like that hill and that pic and nature no matter on bad memories...

Ok my user name has a couple of meanings to me.

It was the first thing that popped into my head. I had used it before as my user name for my profile on an ametuar gay porn site. It is amazing how many guys are turned on by farmers. That was pretty embarrassing to admit.

I grew up on a farm and looked a lot like my avatar when I was first abused. Except I had blonde hair. It reminds me of the innocence I lost.

My dad was a farmer and I was a farmer's boy.

13 years ago I married a farmer (my beautiful wife) and became her boy.

3 years ago I gave up my job as a Graphic Designer to work with her on our own dairy farm so now I am a real farmer boy.

I ride motor bikes, horses, drive tractors, plough paddocks, fix fences, milk cows, pull calves - the whole deal.

I am a real farmer....and I am a boy.

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