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#372282 - 10/13/11 06:09 AM CSA Compounded with bullying
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 950
Loc: southern California
Just wondering, did anyone else here suffer bullying on top of sexual or physical abuse? I had the sexual abuse/physical torture thing happening at home, and was severely bullied at school daily from grades 7-12.

Am wondering what our similarities are, as it is helpful in understanding the complex mix of the two. Also wondering if and how you found a way to work beyond it as an adult.

Thanks,
Keith smile

_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#372288 - 10/13/11 08:26 AM Re: CSA Compounded with bullying [Re: WriterKeith]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Wierd thing for me Keith is that I worked so hard to always be well liked and popular. Best way I can explain it to everyone is I wanted to hide in a crowd.

Socially I wanted to over-achieve and it has to be an effect of the csa. And then right in the croud I could isolate and diassociate. So yeah I was a class officer, editor on school paper, later president of a large Fraternity and trying to figure out WTF happened to me between 10-12.

Hey WK, always good to touch base. You are one of the class acts in this joint.

I did work on that confrontation letter for you as promised. My 3rd draft for you goes like this:

DEAR PERP, EAT SHIT AND DIE.

Sound about right to you?

_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#372297 - 10/13/11 10:41 AM Re: CSA Compounded with bullying [Re: kb8715]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 730
Loc: NJ
WK,

I would say I put up with a bunch of stuff I shouldnt have, and was "bullied" some, by "friends" just to belong to a group. to be liked and in a group was more important to me, than a few bruises or pokes of fun or whatever....retrospect is a bitch.

always reminds me of the movie "thinner"..In which the lead charector has a hex on him, placed by sme gypsy...he is a lawyer and has helped shaddy people, including Je Montagnia sp?, who is a gangster in this movie who comes to help. He has a underling surveil the gypsies ad he is found dead, the next day...and Joe says "he might have been a mook, but he was my mook"....I really get that and have felt that...I was the mook that nobody else could fuck with, but internally it was different.

Im sorry you suffered so much hurt.

H

_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#372303 - 10/13/11 12:13 PM Re: CSA Compounded with bullying [Re: Castle]
Jim1961 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/10/09
Posts: 1133
Loc: Pa, but likely traveling...
Oh yes, bullied mercilessly from 5th to 8th grade. By 9th grade I was so much a drug head, and into extreme stuff that I was left alone. I wore a leather motorcycle jacket, had long hair, but was pretty quiet (a nice freak lol).

But I also never went to a school dance, sporting event or the prom. I was scared of anyone outside of my drug "crowd" (appropriately labeled as freaks back then, lol).

Jim

_________________________
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever. -Yes, Starship Trooper

My Story

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#372304 - 10/13/11 12:27 PM Re: CSA Compounded with bullying [Re: Castle]
Anthony39 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/15/07
Posts: 345
Loc: Montreal, Canada
I had to think about that one.
I was a strange kid if i look back. Somewhat crazy . I was bigger than other kids in my class so for the most part they left me alone.
What friends I had, I was so busy trying to belong that I got lost in there.
I guess i didn't get bullied, i just bullied myself. Honestly I think I finally started doing things for myself recently. I still feel strongly about belonging about being liked by others, but i know it has to start with me.
I hope this helped
cheers

_________________________
Look up and not down; look forward and not back; look out and not in; and lend a hand.
E. E. Hale


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM213aMKTHg

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#372307 - 10/13/11 01:06 PM Re: CSA Compounded with bullying [Re: WriterKeith]
cris40ky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/20/11
Posts: 188
Loc: KY, US
Kieth,

I was horribly bullied at school off and on till I went to the boarding school where I met Fr. Feel-me-up.

Being physically abused at home before I was old enough to go to school. Then getting an "out" of that environment to go to school only to have my feelings of worthlessness reinforced there...

I don't really know how I survived that. But I did; enough to get here.

Being bullied and teased drove home that there was something wrong with me. I deserved to be mistreated and shouldn't expect anything else. And those teachers or authority figures chose not to help. So for sure something was wrong with me.

But there was a core belief deep inside that if I could just get through it, day by day, someday things would be better. Maybe when I was adult and had the power. I also turned to god. The world is all screwed up, but if I could please god like I tried to please everyone else, at least he would take me to heaven.

I still have a lot of that shame inside. But it is getting better. As I comfort that little boy and tell him we WAS worthy of love, my words are becoming less hollow sounding to him.


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#372309 - 10/13/11 01:22 PM Re: CSA Compounded with bullying [Re: cris40ky]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1402
Loc: California
Bullied from 1 - 3rd grade here by much of my class. I begged for help but my parents did nothing.

I, also, wonder how this has flavored my ability to be close to people (on top of CSA affects). Angry that therapists don't seem to take this into consideration, that I'm not just a CSA survivor, but also a survivor of school bullying.

I waiver on hope, it comes and goes - how the hell can I recover from this?

But simply knowing there are others out there who suffered like I did helps tremendously.

Thanks for starting this topic, Keith. I want to see what is discovered here.

D

_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#372317 - 10/13/11 03:49 PM Re: CSA Compounded with bullying [Re: Magellan]
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
Bullied from Kindergarden to 11th grade.


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#372677 - 10/17/11 08:43 PM Re: CSA Compounded with bullying [Re: Marinan]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Bullying a severe problem in schools

Here are some good ideas with regard to bullying in schools:

Included here is a video presentation:

http://www.wrcbtv.com/story/15714310/chickamauga-schools-take-proactive-stance-on-bullying

KARMA = stands for Kids Against Ridicule, Meanness and Aggression

If you watch carefully, I think you will see some kids who have experienced csa and who are terrified to admit it.

The vid. identifies the type of bullying I was subjected to: "exclusion".

Puffer







Edited by pufferfish (10/17/11 08:58 PM)

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#373947 - 11/01/11 01:39 AM Re: CSA Compounded with bullying [Re: kb8715]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 950
Loc: southern California
Man, so sorry to be so late responding here....

Yes, I like the new draft of the letter. ROFL.....will copy and mail immediately. In fact, I think I'll frame it.

Always good to hear from you, you're such a help. Is that a new pic? Did you get a a nose job? wink

_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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