I admit it: I sleep with my care bear. I got him when I was four and he's probably one of my most valued possessions. If I had to save one thing in a fire (other than people or real animals) it would be him. I talked to my T about it yesterday, and he chuckled (not mockingly) and said it was no big deal. I sleep with him because to me he represents safety, and he has known my secrets all along. He was the one I hugged when I didn't know what to do, or who to turn to for help. He's always been there for me.

I'm wondering how many of you still sleep with a stuffed animal nightly (and are willing to admit it)?

Tommy

Wow Tommy,
I think thats cool you have kept that comfort and bed buddy for so long. I relate to you on how your teddy bear accepts you no matter what, is always there no matter what and if your buddy was not there you would feel a loss. Man, thats beautiful.
(choke/bittersweet tears...smiles)
That hit a buried memory and evoked a strong sadness. I remember about five years after the assault, l was divorced even though l had it made; the possessions, career a peaceful divorce without child custody hassles...and l was miserable...disclosurere was still over twenty-five years away.
My daughter had this big nice bear and one night l got up and took it back to bed. I recall how soft it felt as l held that bear and it gave me a comfort then. Maybe l did it more than once, don't remember.
But ol' Ruby the Slipper my redbone coonhound slept in my bed many nights and she and Sir Rigsby were my family for seventeen years.
Thanks for the memory.

I don't have anything from childhood, I do remember a favorite Snoopy doll that I loved and had for mabye 2-3 years then dissapeared.

Recently, I was the only one home one day, wife's at work & kids were in school. I walked into my two boys room to put something away when I noticed a treasured stuffed bear that my younger son owns. I picked up his bear and looked it over, I just felt the need to cuddle it. It struck me, the love & safety that little stuffed bear knows, I know how my son cherishes that bear, his little tender heart has put so much store in that little bear. I got weapy standing there, knowing that I never had what my son has... Even the stuffed bear has more love than I or most of us here ever knew (or ever got thru to us) growing up.

Trb1345, you treasure that bear, I think it's great that you have him. Wish I still had my Snoopy, think I'll be checking ebay today for one

Thats actually a nice story George, thanks for sharing that. And believe me, I treasure that bear. In fact, I can recall many many memories, both good and bad, where I had theat bear with me, so he won't be going anywere

Tommy

Tommy,

LOL, I never thought I'd admit to it, but I still sleep with my teddy bear in my bed. It does gives me a sense of safety. Plus it's always there when I wake up in panic due to my recurring nightmares; my teddy bear makes feel grounded it's the only sense of reality I have right after a bad dream.

I know this may sound childish, but it's the truth.

Thank you for being so open!

Thank you guys, all of ya!

I posted in another thread this morning that I had a really bad night. The funny, sweet thing is that last night I promised lil Cris a Teddy Bear during all that crap. It would be his after the sun came up.

It did and he got one.

Hiya Czaesar and cris,

Thx for letting me know I'm not goin crazy by sleeping with my care bear (Friend Bear, how ironic?)

cris, you mean you went out and got a bear today?

If I can figure out how to upload a picture on here, I'll let all of you know what my Friend bear looks like

Tommy

My fraternal brothers.

There is nothing wrong about sleeping with a stuffed animal.

In fact when you are accepted for a WoR they recommend that you bring a stuffed animal or whatever to hold on to for dear life.

Many T's also recommend it too, as a part of our therapy.

I have a herd of mooses here with me. In fact my Canadian brother, Jim Geeders brought me two of them for our WoR at Alta, back in '09.



On some long distance trips I take my moose with me in the pickup, along with a picture of young Pete. I need someone to talk to.

Nothing to be ashamed of at all. Hell I'm 72.

Heal well, my fraternal brothers, heal well.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

I guess if Pete has a stuffed animal, then I have nothing to worry about.

Pete, do your mooses have grey hair like you? Just kiddin, I'm only teasin

Tommy

Man if it helps ya sleep do it. Who here sleeps good.

Now personally we have the Dachshund in the pic in bed with us and my sons Collie next to me.

Take it up a notch Tommy and go for the real deal. Dogs are great recovery friends.

Sleep good pal.

Keith

Hi, my fraternal brothers.

Nope, Tommy, but they do have hair. lol

Keith,I'd go for a real moose to sleep with but..you know those antlers (racks) are pretty big, almost like my ears.

Love you all, my fraternal brothers. Heal well, all, heal well.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

Yup! Like I said, really bad past few nights. Getting in touch with lil Cris' stuffed crap. And sooo did agree with him just last night that a Teddy Bear was needed

Turns out we got a big fluffy dog. Same color and texture as one I had back then. Had the best nap!

Wow, an amazing topic. I still have my stuffed Ewok, 'Paploo" from stars wars- Return of the Jedi, i got him when i was 10, once when i left him at home. Our house burned down, and I went back secretly and dug through the ash of my room and found him, caked in ash and muck. My mother told me I had to throw him away, so I waited until she went to work and started the salvage process. Cleaning him was no different than thawing Han solo out of the carbonite. I used a hose and sprayed off all the funk i could then I filled the tub with hot water and detergent and washed and rung out, over and over until he was clean. Then i had to spray many different chemicals and fragrances and air fresheners to knock out the burn smell. Then more hand washing and air drying. It took three days and a carefully conceiled plan before I could reveal to my mother i had disobeyed her. But he was my best friend and I knew I couldn't just throw him away. HE wasn't synged or burned in anyway. The house burned to the ground. I still have him and gladly give him a hug once in a while. he spent time in my son's pocession and now sits in my daughter's room. Symbolically, watching over them as they slept. To this day he still has a faint burned odor, but for me it has become the smell I associate with him.

Friend Bear, that is so apropriate.

Hey Keith,

I always wanted a great dane. Those things are huge and it would be pretty comical to take him for a walk, since I'm definitely on the short side. But, I don't have the time to dedicate to a dog (walking, playing, etc) so I take the less selfish route and refrain from getting one. Some day though. Besides, I don't think anything can replace my care bear.

-Tommy

Does the little one quit yipping at night?....lol.....who could sleep with that racket.

Seriously we have enough issues sleeping whatever gets you guys through the night...no shame.

I have a Winnie the Pooh sitting in my room. He doesn't really sleep with me, but watches over the place. He came with me to the WoR in Alta last month.

There is also a small collection of stuffed animals in my computer room all around the place, mostly national park souvenirs and "Metlife" Snoopys.

When I was a boy, my parents wouldn't let me have stuffed animals. I guess it was because they thought it might distort my concept of sexuality or something.

Puffer

Tommy,

I didn't have one growing up. Either they couldn't afford it or it wasnt a priority. Oh well, I still have insomnia, so I am glad that you have a good friend to cuddle up with.

2 years ago, when I was going through an 8 month panic attack, I asked my daughter if her daughter had a stuffed animal that she wasnt closely attached to that I could borrow. My AA sponsor, who is also a CSA survivor, suggested it, and so I followed the direction.

Next time I went over to my daughter's home, my grand daughter came up to me with a polar bear animal and said, "This is for you Grampy. He said that he thought you might need a friend." I was so grateful. ( I cant stop blubbering now, amazing how much things like this can be so influential in our lives)

I gave her a big hug and took the bear home. It was amazing how much that bear was a comfort to me for a time. I had a hard time leaving him home when I left for awhile. But I assured him that I would be back and not to worry. And I can't believe that I actually talked to him regularly. At first it felt like I was an escapee from the cuckoo's nest. Glad I was able to go with it.

When my sponsor first suggested it, I was very leary of it, because of my 'manhood' jitters. But, NO, it isn't sissy and it is a good thing and I am glad that you brought it up. It brought back the memory of it that I hadn't thought about in a year and a half.

I no longer need it to be with me in bed, but i do still have it on my dresser. It was the best thing to help during my days of hell. I made it through it and i think that bear helped to a degree.

My totem is a grizzly bear, but my daughter said that they didnt have one, but that my grand daughter quickly found the polar bear and said that it was a cousin. Bless the beasts and the innocence of children. Wow, i cant believe that made me cry, but it was a good and cleansing thing to have a 'good' cry. It is amazing also, that I couldn't bring myself to call the bear an 'it' in this post. It is as though the bear is still a friend and not a thing.

take care man

peace

paul

While I can’t recall if I slept with stuffed animals as a child, I've been secretly considering getting one to sleep with. My therapist actually suggested that I try it to bring myself comfort and safety. I’ve been having such disturbing dreams lately that I’m willing to see if it makes me feel safer in my sleep. That said I feel very embarrassed about the idea of sleeping with a stuffed animal. All of this inner child work is extremely difficult for me. It’s just so hard to remember myself as anything other than an adult.

Hi All, I am crying while reading this thread. I cant remember ever having a stuffed toy as a kid but my and I made sure our sons had lots and the mamazing thing is they still have them. I got a beautiful teddy bear call Mr Ted when I just started out on my journey after reading Penny Parks book Healing the Inner Child and dam I have to say it has been a huge source of comfort for me through the last four and a half years. Thanks for sharing and you guys are right it does not matter what we do to find the comfort and pease that we deserve even if it is a stuffed animal. Heal well my fellow thrivers

Hey Guys,

Thanks for sharing everything, I thought this topic was gonna be a dud, but I was wrong There's been lots of responses in the last 24 hrs, so let me adress each in one reply:

Cris, how has your new dog worked for you?

Aptrick, that was such a cool story, thanks for sharing. If my house ever burned down, I would go to the same lengths for my bear. It sounds silly, I know they aren't alive, but I owe alot to my bear, and even just stuffing him in a closet doesn't seem right. Greta job saving Paploo And yes, Friend Bear, of all the care bears, is ironic. Even more ironic is I also had Bedtime Bear, and still more ironic, Secret Bear, both of whom I can't find

Castle, thats kinda how I look at it. I wet the bed too, and have to wear a diaper to bed, so Friend Bear is essential to me for feeling secure.

Texan, I've taken Friend Bear on trips as recently as last year. A Travelodge survey showed 20% of adult men still travel with a stuffed animal :p

Puffer, ever thought of getting one now?

pbert, I'm glad your family was there to support you, what a great moment

jls, just get one. For me just the secure feeling is worth it.

temeraire, you're not the only one who didn't have one as a kid, and that baffles me. I thought they were as basic as food and water for a kid. However it's cool you made sure your kids had them. And I'm not surprised they still have them. I have a bond with Friend Bear that goes beyond him sharing in my abuse. I had him in my arms when I graduated pre-school...literally. I had him when I broke my leg and hip (at 4), when I broke my arms all four times, when I broke some fingers, both times I broke teeth, and when I had a ruptured appendicitis (all before 12yo). Not to mention the countelss hours of play, hauling him around in my backpack, or in my wagon, or even scotch taped to the front of my bike lol He's been there in the best of times, the good times, the bad times, and the worst of times. So I guess it's not too hard to see how I have such a strong bond to him when I really stop and look. Much like your kids in their own way, I'm sure.

Thanks guys

Tommy

When I tried it the first time, years ago, it didn't really work. And now, it's like an instant connect to the wounded lil me.

jls, I guess it depends on what you're ready for. It was for me. And I think it's better than my cat. He doesn't like it when I squeeze him too hard

Hey cris,

Thats cool you made a connection. It really is a secure feeling to have at night

Tommy

Yeah my cat won't do either. I roll around in bed too much for his liking.

Yup...I've had Winnie the Pooh for about 12 or so years now. He's traveled with me to WoR's. I have trouble sleeping like a lot of us here so he helps...as do my two cats...and the Xanax;-)

Chris

When I left the WoR in Oct 'o8, I stopped at a Cracker Barrel for dinner. Picked up a stuffed 'possum and have slept with it ever since. I even take it on business trips with me!

Peace,

John

Hey pufferfish:

I suppose the right stuffed animal will call out to you when it's the right one

Fissy:

Leave it to the good 'ol Cracker Barrel to have something like that :P But I do love breakfast there on road trips Check out this link for the business traveler/stuffed animal toter:

http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/grown-men-travel-stuffed-animals-teddy-bears-dogs/story?id=11463664

While some of those guys just want reminders of home, I'd say more like the comforting they provide and aren't willing to admit it.

G5: Someone else said they sleep with cats. How is this possible?! :p Cats are the most fussy of pets, how do they stand a human flopping around in "their" bed?

Hey, Tommy!

Thanks for the link. By the way, if I'm laying on my back in bed, our cat, Smokey, climbs up on my chest, lays down and goes to sleep. He also jumps up and sits in my lap when I sit down, whether at the kitchen table or in my recliner. He's really a weird cat. I think he senses that I'm screwed up and need his companionship.

Peace,

John

Then you have the coolest cat I've heard of. Cats and me have never got along :p

Tommy

Funny thing is when I got my first job I was 15 and I went to the mall with my first paycheck and I spent it on toys for me and my sister. I bought toys that you would buy for a 5 yr old, but my mother never bought us anything like that. There always seemed to be enough money for beer and cigarettes, but never enough money for presents and groceries.

I saved up and after a few months me and my sister went clothes shopping. It felt so good. Just thinking about it now makes my eyes well up with tears. We had been through so much and we felt so beat up in life, neglected, and unloved, but when I bought those toys and we went clothes shopping and to the movies and for ice cream sundaes, other than my children being born those few days during my childhood were probably my happiest. Little things that most people take for granted, we relished in and I'll never forget how happy my baby sister looked.

Wow! Too much to think about. (Tears) When I was 18 I got my own apartment. It was a dingy little shack in South Philly, but it was mine, at least for a month until the rent was due again, and I went and got my sister and she came to live with me. My mom put up a fight but I threatened to go to the cops about all the stuff she had allowed her boyfriends to do to us and she never even said goodbye. We left that night and as for me, I never went back.

I can remember the both of us just comforting each other after waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares and night terrors. I tried to protect her when we were young because I was older but I was still smalled than the 30-something yr old men who were abusing us. We kept all the doors and windows of my apartment locked and just like when we were kids we slept in the same bedroom and we sang happy songs until we fell asleep. Sometimes we felt safer that way, which was much better than the times living with my mother because we never felt safe.

Sorry, I'm rambling. It's just that this topic brought something out of my cellar tonight. Thanks for doing that.

Martin

(((Martin)))

You are a hero! I hope your little sister realizes that.

Peace,

John

Yes Martin, a Hero

Tommy

Trying to post a pic. Tech-savvy I'm not.

@ trb1345: my cats often get fed up and jump off...but they start the night with me, and usually one of them is there in the morning as well...

Good for you Martin!

I too tried to get a pic of my stuffed animal on here, but I'm not compotent in the world of computers either.

Tommy

Hi, my brothers.

I'm going to get Todd (obi) to help me. If anyone can it's him.

We'll find out later this evening. If you hear hoof beats better look out as a herd of Moose are headed your way. lol

Heal well, my brothers, heal well.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

The 2 outer moose were given to me by Jim Geeders, my Canadian brother at our WoR at Alta in '09.

Credit Todd (obi) for putting this here for me.

Heal well, my brothers, heal well.
Pete..Irishmoose.

Well, Tommy, here he is...my weird cat Smokey.

Peace,

John

Hey Fissy,

What an appropriate name

Tommy

Hey Pete,

I'm glad you and Obi were able to get those up Thanks for sharin. Now if only I can figure it out :p

Tommy

Pete:

Moose. Mooses. Meeses. I dunno. But they look great! Thank you for posting these and giving me a reason to have a big smile on my face!

Jim

I still have my D-Doggy. He's actually a Koala but when I started talking and named him, I only knew the basic animals. So I guess I thought dog was the closest one lol. He's a puppet and when I couldn't sleep, my Mom would make him talk to me till I fell asleep. He stayed with me when I was under the covers afraid of the dark.

His fur is totally matted. His nose was broken and replaced with a black button. Someone once saw him in my adult bedroom and playfully teased me about his shabby appearance. I didn't mind. I'm so glad he's still with me.

What an awesome thread. I love this.

Personally I haven't slept with a stuffed animal for a while (I call them all Teddy Bears for some reason). I used to sleep with one when I was in my early 20's and then stoped.

I then had an awesome cat up until a year ago who was my cuddle buddy. These days, since I am not dating anyone, and haven't for far too long, I sleep with a pillow. Maybe I should break down and get a new Teddy. It just may help me sleep better at nights.

Alex

When I was a boy, my father threw away my toys and stuffed animals. He didn't think boys should have stuffed animals. Same for G.I. Joe, because it was a doll, so I wasn't allowed to have one. Anyway, I have several stuffed animals now. In my freshman year in college, I bought a stuffed Shamu whale. I still have him. Ha!

Tommy,
I recently learned through my own experience that this is a very useful tool recommended by many professionals, especially in assisting with sleep disorders and nightmares suffered by survivors.
I have my grandmother's old bedspread, just an old worn-out, stitched and patched ugly thing, but it helps me sleep at night. She lived next door to us when I was little. She was my father's/perp's mother, the only adult who intervened and attempted to put a stop to the abuse.
When she died 25 years ago I kept her bedspread out of sentiment, but now it's a very important symbol of safety and peace when I sleep at night. It's the only way I can convince my sub-conscious that my perp/father won't awaken me with sexual assault during the night.

hey, Undefeated,

i'm with you. i had a blond teddy bear when i was small. i took him with me to our new "home" when my mom married the step-dad when i was 5 1/2. he didn't last long there. it was too babyish and sissy-fied for me to have. step-dad threw him away and bought me boxing gloves. i would have been better off with something to hug.

we bought all 3 of our kids LOTS of stuffed animals - even our son. all are now graduated from college and 2 are married but they still have some of them.

Lee

I still sleep with my pet monster, it say's so much that he came with shackels and brake away chain, lol. Recently things have been real bad for me, but it gives me comfort when i feel him laying aginst me. I'm never sure what's gonna happen next, i'm always on edge now, but when i hold monsty, i feel safe.

Tom