Well I was not able to save my marriage, my wife is determined on divorce. However I managed a solid win for my babies (7,5, 7 months). I had enough stuff recorded and saved that she collapsed like a house of cards. If the judge agrees and signs off on it I get the following.
1. Full legal custody of my 7 month old son.
2. Visitation and parental rights to my two step kids.
3. Joint physical custody of my infant son.
4. A legal reservation to act if I find evidence of her doing drugs, getting violent again, not marrying her lover within 90 days (or leaving him) whoring around the kids or any criminal violation punishable by more than 30 days in jail and some other criteria. If I do, I file a motion and seize all three kids. She will then have 90 days to appeal or forever waive her rights. My step kids dad might be able to step in and take them, but he won't be able to give them back to her or take my rights. He hasn't been there for 5 years I was, am, and will be.
I told people I was THEIR dad and today I proved it. Heck even my soon to be ex didn't believe it until she was less than 8 hours from court and me filing to sever her rights to all three.
5. She admitted on file of record that she was the abuser and aggressor and that she lied to have me arrested. That should nuke my charges and if she ends up on them.... too damn bad. I have to let her hit her bottom.
So my kids won't grow up with a series of abusive step dads like I did.... Well they might but they will have a rock and safe haven in me and a vengeful wrathful lion if some scumbags even thinks it. I already draw a crazy check lol....
You know in 18 years when my youngest is grown up, if I have managed to keep all my kids free from what I suffered, then my pain was worth it. 1 dad for 4 kids is a fair trade in my book. When I walk my step daughter down the aisle, teach my boys how to build race cars or vice verse if it comes to it lol... When they introduce me to baby faces and say here is your grandpa...., and turn to me and say he/she has your eyes even if they know they don't.
And who knows, maybe she will wake up one day and see that I kept my promise to love her and the kids forever and she will trust and heal and come home or let me come home.
Oh, and for the bonus round my bitch soon to be ex-mother-in-law who has had so much to do with enabling my wife's denial will have to face her own lies...
How can some stuff last so long and be so fresh and yet I can't have that memory for good stuff.