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#366348 - 07/21/11 08:41 PM Re: Angry at Women [Re: Celtaf]
greg64 Offline


Registered: 07/21/11
Posts: 1
Loc: Washington
greg64


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#366388 - 07/22/11 08:11 AM Re: Angry at Women [Re: SamV]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2568
With you on the feminism thing being triggering.

It usually raises up resistance and anger within me that can put me in offensive mode, but I usually just take a deep breath and leave the situation as my going off or putting my two cents in about their complete ignorance really won't help me or them, it'll just start a fight that really isn't worth fighting.

Bigots, regardless of their gender or who they're biased against just aren't worth the time or energy that they'll gladly suck from your life.

I have big issues with women as well. I have walls up toward them all over the place. Doesn't matter who they are, there's always a question in the back of my mind as to what they really want or if they're being truthful. Not fair to all women for sure, but it is what I have to deal with.

In college my mantra was that women were evil. :-)


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#370970 - 09/24/11 08:54 PM Re: Angry at Women [Re: JustScott]
Celtaf Offline


Registered: 07/02/11
Posts: 23
Hey. I've been away for a while, but thank you for sharing. It's strange because I don't hate women in a physical anger sees. I don't have a desire to hurt them and see them hurt. It does bother me a lot that I see so many who are contemptuous of men, find it amusing when men are hurt. Maybe I'm imagining it, I dunno.

Walking away and avoiding is probably a good idea.


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#371090 - 09/26/11 12:30 PM Re: Angry at Women [Re: Celtaf]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1866
Loc: durham, north england
This was an interesting topic to read for me.

What I find odd within myself, is that I have a major issue with "women" when defigned as a group, or when defigning themselves that way, but have no animosity, anger or resentment to any given woman in my vicinity, ---- quite the opposite in fact sinse some of my closest friends (in fact most of my friends), are female.

If I am cut out of a conversation because I'm a man, if a woman goes on about how hard life is for women especially around relationships, if a woman says something sexist about men, or if a woman expects! special treatment because of her physical appearence, then I feel extremely angry.

if however anyone is simply themselves, I just relate to them as another human being, find myself making friends, talking generally and indeed often listening to their problems. In that situation, it doesn't really matter whether the person is a woman or not, I'd just treat them as another human being.

Even physical attractiveness is something I find so general I can virtually ignore it, and anyway it's not particularly something I find myself even thinking about accept in the abstract, artistic sense.

So, am I angry at women? yes, quite a lot! am I angry at any given woman, no.


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#371099 - 09/26/11 02:02 PM Re: Angry at Women [Re: dark empathy]
Celtaf Offline


Registered: 07/02/11
Posts: 23
You say you virtually ignore physical attractiveness? How do you mean?

I find physical attraction to women very unpleasant. I'm not so much afraid of rejection as I am of being emotionally hurt. It's difficult to admit this.

I'm with you on the individual approach thing. It works that way for me too. Unfortunately both the mother who neglected me and the stepmother who abused me were feminists. Unfortunately I have met so few feminists who were not angry with men as a gender that it is hard to see how feminism as affected our society as a whole without feeling very threatened.



Edited by Celtaf (09/26/11 02:05 PM)

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#371179 - 09/27/11 06:44 PM Re: Angry at Women [Re: Celtaf]
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 257
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
I like some of what is said here.
First, i have to say i am disappointed; recently a young woman
asked for my phone number to make our first date.
I told her i didnt have a cell number and so i asked her for her number...she isnt picking up!
My best friend is a female. She has told me that I and her
brother were the only 2 good men in this world. Tell me that
is not scary. She has some problems.
My dad's sister-in law... i would like to see her burned alive.

Yes i have problems. But i am intimidated by women. I know there are several women who can be bitches But as there are many (hopefully, majority) there are kind and polite.
I am sure men beat the crap out of women mentally,sexually
(sadly) as men have beaten us! My dad's family has a feminists
pieces of shit! I would love if they are dying, slow agonizing
death! I love venting!


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#371385 - 09/30/11 09:09 AM Re: Angry at Women [Re: Sterling]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1866
Loc: durham, north england
Sterling, I deffinately understand, but I will say your showing a lot of wisdom in realizing that not all women are like those hateful scumbags even when your venting, just as not all men are either, being a scumbag is quite independent of gender it would seem.

Keeping this in mind despite what your feeling shows that your a lot braver and wiser than such bigotted people, despite what you went through.

Celtaf, on the point of physical attractiveness, what I tend to find is that there are qualities in women's physical appearence, face, hight, movement, hair, that I find simply aesthetically pleasing, just as there are certain patterns, colour combinations, that I think look nice.

I therefore view physical attractiveness in this sense just as I would looking at a statue or a piece of furniture. It's therefore devorced entirely from anything emotional, ---- indeed sinse there are very few women betwene the ages of 18 and 45 (and sometimes over), that probably wouldn't! have this sort of quality to some degree or other, it is so general as to not matter at all.

of course, I'm only here talking about those aspects which you'd see of a person under normal circumstances. Women wearing skimpy cloathing, indeed anythingt that is meant to be overtly s/xual is a quite other matter, nd something that scares me considderably too, simply by association.

As regards rejection and emotions, that's an interesting one.

I tend to find that I onl really become attracted in the sense of beginning to fall in love with people who I am already friends with, indeed it is not a quick or instant process at all and takes quite a bit of time.

When in that state, the person becomes! physically attractive, simply ecause of how I feel about them, even if they were one of the few women that I might have thought not aesthetically pleasing to begin with.

Of course this tendency of mine to desire a sort of deeper connection with someone that goes beyond friendship is one I'm trying to rid myself of, sinse it only ever causes problems, and thanks to social conditions and being me is probably never going to actually go anywhere.

In relating to women as friends though, attractiveness really doesn't matter too much simply because I merely view it as easthetic and generalized.

As regards what you might call the s/xual side of things, well that's a hole other story, but sinse my own libido is something that scares me I make certain that I only ever think about it when I'm alone in bed where I can deal with it so that it doesn't bother me the rest of the time, ---- I learnt too well as a teenager what happened if anyone around me suspected my body was reacting physically.

My libido has litle to do with how physically attractive people are either, indeed the thoughts I use to release tention on those occasions that I need to do so are not attached to images at all, but to more general concepts and feelings of one sort or another that I can summon up at will, sort of women in the abstract if you like.


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#371428 - 10/01/11 12:49 AM Re: Angry at Women [Re: dark empathy]
Celtaf Offline


Registered: 07/02/11
Posts: 23
Interesting, similar and yet very different. I know what you mean by women in the abstract. I've had trouble explaining that to others before.


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#371434 - 10/01/11 04:49 AM Re: Angry at Women [Re: Celtaf]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1866
Loc: durham, north england
Well that's just a concept I use when dealing with my libido. I rarely think of actual people I know or even images of people in the media, just sets of feelings or circumstances totally devorced from anything real, or even possibly real, a single sounnd, an imagined feeling an impression.

I will admit that part of the communication, the connection I have a desire to experience with someone is! physical, ---- this is why it's not satisfied even with deeper friendships I have with men, or indeed the vast majority of my female friends.

this desire though has caused me nothing but pain, so I usually try to avoid it, and if indeed the last person I fell in love with I was able to keep that desire down before it hurt me too much.

What I find extremely difficult, is that I naturally have a rather serious libido, and need to deal with it often and regularly, indeed every night.

this may be excessive, but If I try to stop, I get nightmares, reactions I don't want and generally things that are bad.

I feel no guilt over doing this, sinse I don't have any religious reasons not to nor is it disturbing anyone else, and it's better that I just spend a few moments with my abstractions each evening than have a nightmare which will knock me out for a day or so.


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