I am sorry you need this place, but it is a great place to be, full of understanding, support, and help.
One thing you wrote really struck me:
I too struggle with thinking I am crazy, there is no explanation for these strong feelings today. There is an explanation for what it felt like for me as a child.
I think that the explanation for the feelings today is the same one as it was when we were children.
I mean they may seem different, they may find different ways of expression, but I think underneath it's all the same.
So, look around, write, ask what you wish, when you are ready. Many here will understand and offer the best they can to you.