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#370270 - 09/16/11 11:44 AM Katie and Adam Update
katie1205 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/11
Posts: 48
I just thought I would drop you a line and say I am doing well. Adam's family is seriously messed up. About Natalie, the one that Adam went on to abuse and nobody reported it (raped every day for 2 years 5-7 years old), they were still trying to talk to me and I said "I won't talk to you unless you say the words 'Katie,I was so stupid and wrong. I should have called the police or child protective services as soon as I found out Adam had molested Natalie'". OUT OF FOUR OTHER BROTHERS including Natalie's FATHER, not one of them will say those words to me. They are all full of but this and but that and it was later blah blah. They wouldn't say that just to ease my mind just those words. Adam is still refusing to put in a change of address. He is doing that to dodge his bills. Today is the anniversary of him trying to beat me up and me blocking him and him beating the dog and me throwing him off the dog (thanks to my ex the 4th degree black belt wherever he is) and tomorrow is one month since I sent Adam packing. They continued to phone harass me. They are actively giving out my address and phone number as his. People from doctor's are calling after he leaves to tell me he left something behind and I say this isn't his number, he just filled out a paper and said it was his address and number. He had women calling being friendly and my friends are not phone callers unless there is an emergency and then getting really hostile if I wouldn't say where he was which for his own protection I asked to not know where he is exactly. After molesting me when I was so sick this year, a child, and being a dog beater a lot of people in my life want to make him pay if his family is not. I'm not saying that's right it's just how it is. Yesterday, non-stop they had people calling from private and blocked numbers accusing me out of the blue of throwing out Adam so my ex-husband could move back in. My ex-husband and I are close friends but we are NOT getting back together. I finally went SCREW IT and changed my phone number and am only giving out the cell number. Like 6 people have the house number. His brother asked me if he had a chance of coming back. I said not a snow FLAKE's chance in hell. He said you mean snow BALL. I said NO FLAKE even on a good day most of those melt before they get to earth let alone hell. Those are his chances. Less than that. Oh and that same brother is telling me all this stuff about their childhood. How he sung and played guitar. Adam claimed it was him who did all those things but he always sang off key and would never play his guitar. He is a freak who went around posing as his brother in a lot of ways. I said nothing. I just let his brother ramble (dry drunk) and I can't hate Adam because apparently he's some sort of sociopath or something because I don't know him. He lied about everything except where he worked and his name pretty much. Anyway, I am recovering from my two major abdominal surgeries and doing well. I am staying single for a good long time.


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#370316 - 09/17/11 12:14 AM Re: Katie and Adam Update [Re: katie1205]
Still Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6380
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Katie...some questions:

1) Is Natalie getting serious therepy for this?

2) When can Adam become a guest of the state prison system? Please don't wait for others to report him.

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#370428 - 09/18/11 10:29 AM Re: Katie and Adam Update [Re: Still]
katie1205 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/11
Posts: 48
Unfortunately, the statute of limitations is up because this was in the past. I tried reporting him to a court mandated reporter the second I found out. Seriously, the second. I wanted him in the sex offenders database at the very least. They won't do it. Natalie never got proper therapy. She is messed up today. She continues to pick unhealthy loser addicted men like her father who did not protect her. Her current husband doesn't work or do anything useful and spends all his time in alcohol recovery program with her father. That disgusting sicko family thinks it's wonderful. It's gross. She hides herself beneath twenty pounds of make up, hair dye, nail polish, etc. which is tragic as she is naturally quite beautiful. My cousin is a big wig in one of the local prisons and asked the same thing and wanted to get him transferred to his unit. I really truly have told everyone involved not to tell me where he is because my friends and family are like bears protecting their cubs. I think I told you guys I had two major surgeries this year and did not get to rest even though I nearly died because he did nothing. I changed my number and now without the phone harassment I am sleeping. My friend who is a retired therapist was talking to me about it and she said it sounded beyond normal screwed up family. She said they sounded literally like out right sociopaths and yes she has the college degree to make that kind of diagnosis. She said they are the type they like to lock up and interview and do case studies on of pathological illness. She, my therapist, my shrink (I know have PTSD from the abuse), and friends and family are all just saying thank god I got out alive. I met him on eHarmony. I am not bashing them personally but I will NEVER internet date ever again. I am finding out in therapy that it is a romping ground for these people (internet dating sites).


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#370445 - 09/18/11 02:44 PM Re: Katie and Adam Update [Re: katie1205]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1734
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Two Words

Restraining Order

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#370496 - 09/19/11 12:19 AM Re: Katie and Adam Update [Re: whome]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
Katie...wow...I am so proud of you for sticking to your guns.


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#370560 - 09/20/11 11:00 AM Re: Katie and Adam Update [Re: hopeandtry]
katie1205 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/11
Posts: 48
They are too chicken shit to actually come here and since I do not have Adam's actual address as they are harboring him, I can't get a restraining order as you have to know exactly where the person is to serve it. I really honest to god have repeatedly told them for his safety not to tell me where he is. Not even the city. The police say I have to have actual proof it's them and since they were calling from blocked numbers, etc. I have no proof. Yesterday, I got a bridal magazine in my ex-husband's last name. I never even ordered bridal magazines even when I got married in '94. It was a very simple wedding with 15 people including us. Anyway, I called the publisher. It's like the second largest publisher in the country. They do Vogue, Glamour, etc. Someone, I am assuming one of Adam's brothers, probably Mark, subscribed me to dozens of their magazines using the bill me later function. I am lucky in that my ex-husband has a very very very unique last name and there were only 5 of us in the world with that last name (made up at Ellis Island). So they blocked that name and address and said to consider any other magazines I received freebies. They said it is a common form of harassment. Also, somebody put me on a jail mail pen pal site and I am getting all this jail mail now. I don't know what site because I do not reply to the letters. This family is really out of their gourd. My friend who is a psychologist (sp) says they should be a case stupid in sociopaths. I do not fear them really. I fear me more than them as if they broke in I do not think I could control myself if they went to hurt me or the animals again. I was taught in martial arts to turn fear into rage when attacked. You might be a quivering mass of jello afterwards but in that moment you are being attacked just to be full of rage and anger. Not "I am scared somebody is in my house" but "HOW DARE somebody break into my house". It's a mind set thing. I think they know better than to come after me. I am literally half Adam's size and when he beat my dog, I literally blocked him and threw him across the room. I may be shorter but I am sturdy with a good low center of gravity. I have been doing my martial arts videos. I stay on my turf which is 45 minutes from theirs. They only come here for the movie theatre and Walmart so I don't go there. I am finally getting all that rest I was supposed to get before and after surgery. Mind you Adam is the youngest at 48 and Mark is the oldest at 61 and they are doing this. They are lazy so I go to stores early before they would make it down here or during 5 PM rush hour. That is also when I get my mail. When there are lots of people around.

What I find very sad is how many men on here who were just abused and deserve support are not getting it when Adam is just a jack ass and went onto abuse and was getting support and was so unworthy. I wish their was a magic way that I could take all those dollars I spent on counseling for him and go back in time and spend them on a worthy person but that's not possible. I spent probably $400 in co-pays with a really wonderful therapist and he just wanted to bitch and whine about stupid stuff unrelated.

I am reading an old book "Games People Play" and one of the first things it says is that they are all magnified in families with substance abuse problems. I am yet to get to a game and I am more than half way through the book that somebody in his family does not actively play.

I am just glad to be OUT physically.

I have learned if I take my PTSD meds all at night, I can sleep all night upstairs and make it through the night. The doctor said some people do better all at once and some people do better spread out but it's all the same because it stays in the blood stream. For me, night time was when the abuse happened so it's better at night.

I can't really feel anything like a loss because Adam is a sociopath so I don't know who the real him is. I just have the trauma from what he did to me and his family tries to do. But now that my brain is protecting me by blocking it and their efforts are so infantile, my reaction gets better every day. I am kind of to a state of "Ya whatever freaks".

The worse part is that I am financially screwed for quite some time because he just took so much money and didn't tell me and ran up so many bills. In a few months, that should even out.

I did get brave enough to go to an HBO comedy taping by myself. It was somewhere where there would be lots of people. So I am moving forward. I have found a lot of pen pals that he cut me off from. He "accidentally" threw out all my pen pal stuff because he's an abuser and that's part of their pattern is to cut you off from everyone. He'd eat a $20 lunch and tell me a book of stamps was too much.

I have been getting asked out and turning people down. I have pretty much decided nobody is ever getting a key or moving in until there is a ring on my finger and a real date as in the place to get married is booked and I don't see that happening. Ya in a way it is sad because some perfectly nice guys might be asking me out but I am not there and don't know if I will ever be there after this.

To me, finding out that Adam molested a small child for 2 years straight was my worst possible nightmare and that the statute of limitations was up and I could do nothing. I would have taken it better if he had killed somebody in a drug deal gone wrong when he was young.


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#370565 - 09/20/11 11:34 AM Re: Katie and Adam Update [Re: katie1205]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
Hang in there...I'm glad you have MS for support. Ugh...what a nightmare.


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#370567 - 09/20/11 12:06 PM Re: Katie and Adam Update [Re: hopeandtry]
lmjanes Offline


Registered: 07/09/10
Posts: 6
Loc: Southwest
Katie,

You might not like what I am going to tell you, but I think you should just disappear and move to a new city. Start your new life all over again somewhere. Seek a counselor in a new city. Get recovery from your abuse, all of that. You should be focusing on yourself not Adam or his brothers. You can not help these people.

If that was me, I would cut these people out of my life, period. You can never change people, and the only person you can change is yourself. I don't understand why your friend who is a psychologist telling you things like that because it sounds a bit unprofessional. If she said that, why did you still give out your cell phone number to Adam? It seems like you are not ready to cut him out of your life and kept giving us excuses why you couldn't do this or that. That words speak louder than actions.

I'm not trying to be rude. It is pretty obvious you are not ready to cut things out with Adam.


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#370726 - 09/22/11 02:13 AM Re: Katie and Adam Update [Re: lmjanes]
katie1205 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/11
Posts: 48
No, I am not upset at all at you for saying that. I can't up and move. I own the condo. I am not letting him scare me out of my dream home and city when he doesn't live here. I have no contact with him or his family. I changed my phone number. I didn't change my cell but I think god heard you because my cell phone has up disappeared itself and I will get a new phone with a new number. I hadn't changed it because everyone had it. I had that cell phone forever. I haven't heard from Adam since the second I dumped his ass at the bus stop. It was his family that was harassing me but have stopped. I think. I think they put in a change of mail for Adam because all of a sudden his mail stopped coming. He had one brother who wouldn't leave me alone and my biker sister who makes Dog the Bounty Hunter's Wife look like a wuss pretty much scared the heck out of him. Didn't hurt him but put the fear of god in him. I am in counseling. I woke up the other day and for some reason, the year with Adam is blocked from my memory mostly. I remember some but it's vague very vague. I wake up from nightmares not remembering what they were about but panicked and scared but if I take my PTSD (I am seriously diagnosed that from this relationship) medication before bedtime that doesn't happen. Ya, he messed me up pretty bad. It's weird. The memories are all blurry and weird but the fear and anger are still there. The therapist says it's just as well that I blocked out the details so I don't relieve them as what he did wasn't a rational type thing we can talk through but now we are working on me setting up boundaries and holding them so that I don't let someone abusive like that back into my life. I look younger than what I am and keep getting asked out and I just say "No, thank you. That's very flattering but no, thank you". I don't have good boundaries and at this point I assume be alone with my two dogs and cat.


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