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#37064 - 01/13/06 02:26 AM Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
A thought has been growing in my mind all day, and I don't know what you think?

When I go to court shortly, I will be wearing a chain around my neck. It contains my Mother's eternity ring, my Dad's army ID tag from the second world war, my dog's name tag (died when I was 19 & I still have it 29 years later)and a carved American half dollar that emphasises the eagle. I bought the half dollar just over a year ago, because I know that most people on here are American & it represented something to me!

In my pocket, I am taking a Hot Wheels car called the judge. I used to have a friend when I was very young (before the abuse) who used to give me all of his 'bashed' toy cars as he got new ones every week. The car will remind me of happy childhood days.

I got to thinking that whilst I have been here, some of our brothers have sadly lost the fight. I've got some decent paper, and thought it would be good to scan one of my childhood pictures onto one side, and write the names of some of our lost brothers on the other side. I could then take this to court with me and keep it in my inside jacket pocket (close to my heart).

If anyone here wants to add there own name, I don't mind doing that either!

I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say here, but somehow I hope that it would mean they could know that justice can be done. At the very least their names could be in court with me throughout the trial.

Does this sound daft? I don't know?

If anyone knows of a name that they would like me to write down, please reply either here, or by PM (I don't mind either way).

If you think I'm going crazy, then maybe I am - just ignore me in that case!

Thnaks for listening again...best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

Top
#37065 - 01/13/06 09:42 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rik,

Here's something to take along: If everyone who wishes to do so will post to this thread, I will keep editing this post of mine here to add names until the big day. Then cut this out and take it with you Rik.

Much love,
Larry

_____________________________________________

Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

Roadrunner

_________________________________________________

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#37066 - 01/13/06 11:12 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
Let me be with you, brother.

Dewey2k


Top
#37067 - 01/13/06 11:39 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Why

ste, not a question, an answer!

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#37068 - 01/14/06 03:11 AM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Rustam Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 470
Loc: UK
Rik I have followed your brave struggle with this for over a year, I will be with you in spirit on that day; one hundred percent, it’s a good thing you are doing.

Peter.


Top
#37069 - 01/14/06 05:57 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Carlos Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 10
Loc: Mexico
Take me along brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

be brave and courageous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________________
you can always learn to see things in color

Top
#37070 - 01/15/06 01:15 AM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Thanks everyone - I didn't mean that anyone had to give me their real name (although you can if you wish). Use any name that you wish - it makes no difference to me.... 'a Rose by any other name is still a rose'.

I wasn't sure why I needed names at first, but:

I have been to the Courtroom to look around with a Witness Protection Volunteer. On the telephone, I was told that the court was quite small!

If small means that you can fit in the Prosecution, the Defence, 12 Members of the Jury, The Judge, Each Witness (those that have produced statements prior to the case taking place), and still have space for the Court Assistants that direct you in, the Court Recorders that type every word spoken, members of the public that may or may not be interested and the media (type of case that it is will hopefully draw attention from that quarter).

I estimate that there could be around 80 people in court if all spaces are taken.

That's why I want names - I would like to have some people on that list ... I have already started adding names of people that have supported me over the years (there are many here). There are friends in my every day life (the 3 that I first told)...friends at work, the policeman that listened to me, my Boss that got me a shrink, the shrink, it's pretty endless! The policewoman that is now very annoyed with the perp because he has now been accused by 3 people and denied every single accusation through out a number of pre-trial court appearances.

When I starting thinking about it - I could probably fill that court with friends in my head. On the day though, I need to concentrate on the case - that's why I'm producing the list beforehand.

Those who have fallen: I know that some of you were very close to people that are no longer here - I only offered to take their written names in to court with me, because I know what it is to loose a good friend.

One of the names that will be on my list is Phil...he wasn't abused that I know of, but he was killed in an accident when I was 15 and he was 16/17...I'm taking his name in because I know he would want to be with me if he could. I forgot him, as I forgot myself for many years. I have now traced the row of graves where he lies, but do not yet know which plot is his. I intend to give him some justice on that & mark his grave with a simple vase.

No child should ever be forgotten.

Sorry for rambling & don't worry - I am OK, I'm just getting extemely annoyed that the perv still denies what he did! I am also extremely angry that the 3rd witness has made a statement, which is the first time he has told anyone & that I know he has suffered in silence for over 30 years (I am angry that he has suffered, not that he has made a statement).

I had got used to hurting, but I cannot stand it when anyone else hurts..it's really brought it home!


*My sister and several other people have volunteered to sit in the public gallery when I am presenting evidence...I declined all of their offers, because I think that I can be more clinical when I am not worrying about upsetting the people that are there for me!

Thanks again, best wishes...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

Top
#37071 - 01/15/06 04:00 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Zipser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/19/05
Posts: 351
Loc: Connecticut
Rik,

Take me with you too. My name is Paul and I am a survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse.

Zipser

_________________________
"I stand proud that the boy so badly damaged managed to get me this far and I will honor him and myself for being a survivor." - A member

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#37072 - 01/15/06 06:53 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rik, and MS brothers,

Here is how the list looks so far:

_____________________________________________

Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

Carlos
Dewey2k
Roadrunner
reality2k4
Rustam
Zipser
_________________________________________________

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#37073 - 01/16/06 11:50 AM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Dewey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/13/02
Posts: 137
Loc: the sunshine state
Hey Rik can I come in too? I'd like to hold the hot-wheels car if you don't mind. And if "he" tries to lie, then I'll whip it at him. Thanks for the opportunity. My name is Dan

_________________________
I refuse to use my past as an excuse to not have a future.
My hero Dad; Trigger warning- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi3Hyxuf5AE

Top
#37074 - 01/16/06 01:14 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Thanks everyone - I've been back-tracking through posts that I have made here over the last couple of years (still have one year to check).

I've recorded the names of anyone that has ever responded - Larry - with the names you are saving for me and all of the others I now have 50 plus names. With another year of postings to check , I ecpect to achieve around 80. I then need to add those people that have actually supported me at home. It's an unbelievable amount of people when I think about it - to think that I ever doubted anyone would believe me?

Thanks again everyone! best wishes ..Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

Top
#37075 - 01/16/06 01:16 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Just to add - I'm also taking a Birthday Card that I received from prodcution staff last year - it has over 40 signatures on it!

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

Top
#37076 - 01/17/06 07:09 AM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Hey Rick,
A small reminder to add the name of this guy who has been with you thru your darkest hour and your triumphant best.

Still guessing? Its you!

I suggest keep a small mirror in your pocket to remind you of the man we are all rooting for and the man you have resolved stand up for.

Hats off to you!

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

Top
#37077 - 01/17/06 06:07 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rik, and MS brothers,

I loved your comment Rik:

Quote:
It's an unbelievable amount of people when I think about it - to think that I ever doubted anyone would believe me?
Something to remember!!!

Here's the latest:

_____________________________________________

Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

Carlos
Dewey
Dewey2k
Morning Star
Roadrunner
reality2k4
Rustam
Zipser
_________________________________________________

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#37078 - 01/17/06 09:10 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Quote:
Does this sound daft? I don't know?
Rik
you KNOW it's not daft. ;\)

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#37079 - 01/19/06 02:27 AM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
And the latest:

_____________________________________________

Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

Carlos
Dewey
Dewey2k
Grunty
Lloydy
Morning Star
Roadrunner
reality2k4
Rustam
Zipser
_________________________________________________

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#37080 - 01/19/06 05:44 AM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Rik,

I'm there with you. It's a courageous thing you're doing.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#37081 - 01/19/06 06:46 AM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Some additions:
Carlos
Dewey
Dewey2k
Grunty
God
Lloydy
Morning Star
Roadrunner
reality2k4
Rustam
Zipser

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

Top
#37082 - 01/19/06 07:39 AM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
unknownsoldier Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/29/03
Posts: 105
Loc: Northwest
Rik,

I don't know if I knew you when I was here before, but I'm with you now.

Ken


Top
#37083 - 01/19/06 12:20 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Another update, including Morning Star's suggestion, which I really like! This IS a matter of basic right and wrong, Rik, and what you are doing is so important:

_____________________________________________

Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

Carlos
Dewey
Dewey2k
God
Grunty
Lloydy
Morning Star
Roadrunner
reality2k4
Rustam
walkingsouth
unknownsoldier
Zipser
_________________________________________________

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#37084 - 01/19/06 03:24 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
healing_inside Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2005
I am there also with u Rik

Healing Inside

_________________________
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

Top
#37085 - 01/20/06 05:59 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Latest update. As many of you will have seen elsewhere on the DB Rik saw his perp today and glared him down. ;\)

_____________________________________________

Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

Carlos
Dewey
Dewey2k
God
Grunty
healing inside
Lloydy
Morning Star
roadrunner
reality2k4
Rustam
walkingsouth
unknownsoldier
Zipser
_________________________________________________

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#37086 - 01/20/06 09:07 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
AuthenticMe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/05
Posts: 287
Add me to the list of Rik supporters and admirers.

_________________________
I am a Man.

Top
#37087 - 01/22/06 03:13 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Update for Sunday.


_____________________________________________

Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

AuthenticMe
Carlos
Dewey
Dewey2k
God
Grunty
healing inside
Lloydy
Morning Star
roadrunner
reality2k4
Rustam
walkingsouth
unknownsoldier
Zipser
_________________________________________________

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#37088 - 01/22/06 03:39 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
Rik,
I would like to be there with you along with so many loving and loyal brothers. Big hugs and love, etc.,
George of Kent

_________________________
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

Top
#37089 - 01/22/06 05:10 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
JERRYLSAN Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 5
Loc: Indiana
I would like to go also. My name is Jerry, I wish you the best.


Top
#37090 - 01/22/06 09:11 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Another update. Anyone who wants to be on the list please let me know on this thread, as Rik's court date is very soon.

_____________________________________________

Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

AuthenticMe
Carlos
Dewey
Dewey2k
george of kent
God
Grunty
healing inside
Jerrylsan
Lloydy
Morning Star
roadrunner
reality2k4
Rustam
walkingsouth
unknownsoldier
Zipser
_________________________________________________

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#37091 - 01/22/06 10:24 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Thanks everyone - I've now found a photograph of myself when I was a happy child! It's a photograph that I've always liked - strange that it was right on top of the pile when I went looking today.

I've scanned the photograph into the centre of a document. I've surrounded the photograph with all names from this post, plus names of all of those that have ever replied to one of my postings on this site.

I've added names of others that have supported me, also those that I know would support me given the opportunity.

My picture is surrounded by 189 names.

I said the court could probably hold around 80 people in the public gallery - with 189 names in my pocket, I've beaten that.

When trawling back through my posts from 2 years here, it was quite a journey (you will see that I have brought my first ever post back to the top of the discussion board).

The responses were a mixture of support, mutual appreciation, indifference, enlightenment, a few wake up calls and even humour.

Thanks for sharing this journey with me, I hope that I can obtain the right result for us all when the time comes. I don't intend to falter at the last hurdle.

Thanks to you all - my source of strength.

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

Top
#37092 - 01/22/06 10:39 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I guess you can also use the signature at the bottom of my post.

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#37093 - 01/23/06 10:38 AM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Kirk Wayne Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/05
Posts: 499
Loc: Shrewsbury UK
I'm there with you every step of the way Rick.

BTW have you anyone going with you for support?

Kirk

"Lets take this bull by the horns and swing it around a bit" - Kirk


Top
#37094 - 01/23/06 01:48 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Make the Rain

The sun was never gone,
it was just a cloud
that I feared.

Once I faced my fears
they were blown away
by my breath
dissolved by the sun
that shined thru me.

And the rain
came down smiling
on my new seedlings.

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

Top
#37095 - 01/23/06 06:12 PM Re: Just a thought - could be strong trigger to some!
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
hey rick if you see a shadow somewhere in the room it will be me ,stay strong ok?
shadowkid

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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