A thought has been growing in my mind all day, and I don't know what you think?

When I go to court shortly, I will be wearing a chain around my neck. It contains my Mother's eternity ring, my Dad's army ID tag from the second world war, my dog's name tag (died when I was 19 & I still have it 29 years later)and a carved American half dollar that emphasises the eagle. I bought the half dollar just over a year ago, because I know that most people on here are American & it represented something to me!

In my pocket, I am taking a Hot Wheels car called the judge. I used to have a friend when I was very young (before the abuse) who used to give me all of his 'bashed' toy cars as he got new ones every week. The car will remind me of happy childhood days.

I got to thinking that whilst I have been here, some of our brothers have sadly lost the fight. I've got some decent paper, and thought it would be good to scan one of my childhood pictures onto one side, and write the names of some of our lost brothers on the other side. I could then take this to court with me and keep it in my inside jacket pocket (close to my heart).

If anyone here wants to add there own name, I don't mind doing that either!

I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say here, but somehow I hope that it would mean they could know that justice can be done. At the very least their names could be in court with me throughout the trial.

Does this sound daft? I don't know?

If anyone knows of a name that they would like me to write down, please reply either here, or by PM (I don't mind either way).

If you think I'm going crazy, then maybe I am - just ignore me in that case!

Thnaks for listening again...best wishes ...Rik

Rik,

Here's something to take along: If everyone who wishes to do so will post to this thread, I will keep editing this post of mine here to add names until the big day. Then cut this out and take it with you Rik.

Much love,
Larry

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Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

Roadrunner

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Let me be with you, brother.

Dewey2k

Why

ste, not a question, an answer!

Rik I have followed your brave struggle with this for over a year, I will be with you in spirit on that day; one hundred percent, it’s a good thing you are doing.

Peter.

Take me along brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

be brave and courageous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks everyone - I didn't mean that anyone had to give me their real name (although you can if you wish). Use any name that you wish - it makes no difference to me.... 'a Rose by any other name is still a rose'.

I wasn't sure why I needed names at first, but:

I have been to the Courtroom to look around with a Witness Protection Volunteer. On the telephone, I was told that the court was quite small!

If small means that you can fit in the Prosecution, the Defence, 12 Members of the Jury, The Judge, Each Witness (those that have produced statements prior to the case taking place), and still have space for the Court Assistants that direct you in, the Court Recorders that type every word spoken, members of the public that may or may not be interested and the media (type of case that it is will hopefully draw attention from that quarter).

I estimate that there could be around 80 people in court if all spaces are taken.

That's why I want names - I would like to have some people on that list ... I have already started adding names of people that have supported me over the years (there are many here). There are friends in my every day life (the 3 that I first told)...friends at work, the policeman that listened to me, my Boss that got me a shrink, the shrink, it's pretty endless! The policewoman that is now very annoyed with the perp because he has now been accused by 3 people and denied every single accusation through out a number of pre-trial court appearances.

When I starting thinking about it - I could probably fill that court with friends in my head. On the day though, I need to concentrate on the case - that's why I'm producing the list beforehand.

Those who have fallen: I know that some of you were very close to people that are no longer here - I only offered to take their written names in to court with me, because I know what it is to loose a good friend.

One of the names that will be on my list is Phil...he wasn't abused that I know of, but he was killed in an accident when I was 15 and he was 16/17...I'm taking his name in because I know he would want to be with me if he could. I forgot him, as I forgot myself for many years. I have now traced the row of graves where he lies, but do not yet know which plot is his. I intend to give him some justice on that & mark his grave with a simple vase.

No child should ever be forgotten.

Sorry for rambling & don't worry - I am OK, I'm just getting extemely annoyed that the perv still denies what he did! I am also extremely angry that the 3rd witness has made a statement, which is the first time he has told anyone & that I know he has suffered in silence for over 30 years (I am angry that he has suffered, not that he has made a statement).

I had got used to hurting, but I cannot stand it when anyone else hurts..it's really brought it home!


*My sister and several other people have volunteered to sit in the public gallery when I am presenting evidence...I declined all of their offers, because I think that I can be more clinical when I am not worrying about upsetting the people that are there for me!

Thanks again, best wishes...Rik

Rik,

Take me with you too. My name is Paul and I am a survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse.

Zipser

Rik, and MS brothers,

Here is how the list looks so far:

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Rik,

We are all with you and you will be in our hearts and minds today. You are doing the right thing. Be brave, and remember: The truth is you and with us all.

Carlos
Dewey2k
Roadrunner
reality2k4
Rustam
Zipser
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Hey Rik can I come in too? I'd like to hold the hot-wheels car if you don't mind. And if "he" tries to lie, then I'll whip it at him. Thanks for the opportunity. My name is Dan