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#369893 - 09/11/11 12:07 AM "Pop" - my father
Fissy Tsickens Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/23/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Bassett, Virginia
Hey, guys.

I know the subject of fathers can be difficult for many of us, as a significant number of us were abused by our fathers. I was not. I have been very blessed to have a really wonderful, truly loving father for all 50 of my years so far.

I grew up on Long Island, NY. My mother was a stay at home mom with six kids and the assistance of a maid. My father was an advertising executive on Madison Avenue. Though there were six of us, my father somehow always managed to find time to make each of us feel like we were important to him. I remember Saturday mornings, running errands. I'd ride up front in the station wagon (no airbags to decapitate a kid back in the 60's and 70's). We'd stop at the dry cleaners, the Chinese laundry, where Pop's shirts were bleached, starched and pressed to perfection. Then we'd go to Butter Bun Bakery, and pick up the crumb cake we'd have for Saturday's breakfast. Might not seem like much, but it was time that my father would spend with me alone. I remember trips to Jones Beach (Mom hated the beach, so Pop would take us). Pop fostered my love of and involvement in singing. I got to hear him sing every Sunday in the church choir. Sometimes he'd take me with him when he had a gig singing Ave Maria at a wedding -- he had an awesome tenor voice. He introduced me to popular music, specifically big band. His favorite was Glenn Miller, and I love that music too, in addition to more modern popular music.

Pop is a World War II vet, and fostered patriotism in me. His service inspired me to enlist and spend over six years in the U.S. Air Force.

Lots of people have special memories from Christmas's past. During every Christmas season, Pop would take each of the six of us, one at a time, into Manhattan. We'd spend the morning at Pop's office, where he'd introduce us to the people he worked with. Then we'd go to lunch (I always picked Chinese or Japanese). After lunch, we'd walk through Time Square, stopping in some of the stores to pick up special things like Sea Monkey kits. Then we'd be off to Broadway for a show, or Radio City Music Hall.

While Pop had a way of making each of his six kids feel special, when he retired, he and Mom moved to Virginia and built a house next door to mine. They could have stayed in NY with my oldest brother and sister, or moved to Vermont with my other older brother, or L.A. with my younger brother, or NC with my little sister.

Pop worked long, hard hours to provide for his family, and unfortunately, the retirement he earned has been marked by poor health. He has had two separate heart bypass surgeries (double the first time, quadruple the second) and a massive stroke, for which he was in rehab for months, but, thankfully, made a really miraculous recovery.

This past week, I got a call at 3am Thursday morning from my parents' caretaker, saying Pop had had a bad fall. He'd gotten up to go to the bathroom, lost his balance, and fell hard head first into his chest of drawers. He's been on blood thinners for a long time and bleeds very easily. Besides ripping the skin open on his left arm and bleeding like a stuck pig on the outside, unbeknownst to us, the force also caused a hemorrhage in his brain. He seemed fine at 3am. He seemed okay when he got up at 9am and called the doctor to make an appointment for my mother for the following day, then laid back down. When their caretaker checked on them at 10am, he seemed kind of out of it. I called 911. The ambulance rushed him to the local hospital. The ER doc there quickly ran a CT scan, which revealed a severe, life-threatening hemorrhage. The transported him via helicopter to a larger, better equipped hospital. The neurosurgeon there told me that basically if they did nothing, he would be in increasingly more pain, for hours or days, then die. However, he also said that Pop was not a good candidate for surgery due to his age and infirmity, and there was no guarantee he'd even live through the surgery. Mom and I decided we'd risk the surgery, since it gave him at least a small chance of survival. The surgery involved removing a piece of skull about two inches by six inches, evacuating the blood that was causing the pressure on his brain, attempting to stop the bleeding, implanting a drainage tube, then putting Humpty together again, as it were.

Well, he made it through the surgery on Thursday afternoon. On Friday, he was opening his eyes, squeezing our hands, trying to lift his head, and moving his legs and arms. Today (Saturday), he was opening his eyes more widely and sustaining eye contact. Though he's got tubes up his nose and down his throat, he was trying to speak, but it seemed he wasn't remembering how to form the words. At this point, we simply don't know how severe the brain damage will be. Whatever the outcome, we're very thankful that he's made it this far and that he's still with us.

I've gotten so much support here over the past three years. Now I'm asking for support again. For those of you who pray, I ask that you please keep Pop in your prayers. For those of you who don't, maybe you could "send positive vibes" like my little brother.

Thanks so much, guys.

Peace,

John

_________________________
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Iíll never see

It may sound absurd...but donít be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but wonít you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Itís not easy to be me

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#369896 - 09/11/11 12:42 AM Re: "Pop" - my father [Re: Fissy Tsickens]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
Sorry to hear about this. Will keep you in my thoughts.


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#369901 - 09/11/11 04:16 AM Re: "Pop" - my father [Re: hopeandtry]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi FT

Your dad is in my Prayers, and so are you.
I know how it feels. My mom abused me, beside others, and my father spent his life running away from the horrible home life he had, because of the witch mother. It is only now in later life that I have really bonded with my father and had a reasonable relationship.
So I cant imagine the pain of loosing him now. He is in his 80's.

So yeah, I really feel for you both..

Heal well (Both of you)
Martin



Edited by whome (09/11/11 04:18 AM)
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#369906 - 09/11/11 08:40 AM Re: "Pop" - my father [Re: whome]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1401
Loc: kansas
prayers sent.

_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#369907 - 09/11/11 08:58 AM Re: "Pop" - my father [Re: Obi]
Disappointed Offline


Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 540
Loc: U.S.A.
Hi John,

I'll pray for your Dad.

He's already beat the odds, so God seems pretty involved already!

D.

_________________________
Female.

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#369914 - 09/11/11 11:55 AM Re: "Pop" - my father [Re: Disappointed]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Your father sounds amazing, you are very fortunate, FT,

As he supported you, so too, I will think strong, positive thoughts for him, for you, and your families.

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#369949 - 09/11/11 11:25 PM Re: "Pop" - my father [Re: SamV]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2453
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brother, John.

Wow, a great dad for you, as you are a great son for him, in his hour of need.

I never had a dad, if I did I sure wish he would have been like your dad.

In your family's & your hour of need, I offer your family & your dad, my compassion, understanding, love, hope & prayers.

Take care & God bless.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#369951 - 09/12/11 12:02 AM Re: "Pop" - my father [Re: petercorbett]
GoodHope Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/05/11
Posts: 417
Done. Keep us posted please.

_________________________
Wife of a survivor

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#369959 - 09/12/11 09:10 AM Re: "Pop" - my father [Re: GoodHope]
Fissy Tsickens Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/23/08
Posts: 466
Loc: Bassett, Virginia
Thank you, guys. Not much new to report. They finally removed the drain line from his skull, but he still has the breathing tube in so we're still not sure how well he'll be able to communicate, or whether or not he's lost speech/language abilities. They ran out of sites for I.V.'s because each site was failing. This morning they had to put in a central line in his upper arm, which should hold long term. Docs are still talking about removing the breathing tube - the respitory therapist said as far as she was concerned he was ready - but it's up to the docs and they haven't ordered it yet.

Thanks for your continued prayers.

Peace,

John

_________________________
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home Iíll never see

It may sound absurd...but donít be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but wonít you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
Itís not easy to be me

Top
#369961 - 09/12/11 09:32 AM Re: "Pop" - my father [Re: Fissy Tsickens]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6607
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Lord,

We thank you for John's Dad. We thank you for the attention and love he paid to John. He truly is a great father as you know.

Lord, we lift Pop up in prayer for your will to be done. For suffering to end, for healing to be certain and good.

Lord, we also lift up John and his Mom as well as all of Johns siblings. You know their hearts. You know John has a heart for you Lord. We ask you to easy the pain and anxiety they may be experienceing. Let them help each other with great love. Let this bring their hearts together in Your name. Let the family you built endure and thrive Lord.

Pop has been a clear blessing to this family and this world Lord. Again, we ask for removal of suffering, anxiety and worry. We place this fear, sadness and heart-break at the base of The Cross. We cannot survive such events without your love.

In the Name of Jesus, we pray.

_________________________
Hell needs firewood too ya know!

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