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#369596 - 09/06/11 01:16 PM 9-11 +10
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6422
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I'm not sure I can do it. Ten years later. TEN YEARS!!!!

I just now, after 10 years, looked at the videos and photos of 9/11 since they were all live.

I've heard Betty Ong of American Flt 11 calling gound supports, ffor the first time ever. I heard her say "Karen is stabbed." I've never heard it before now.

I've watched on youtube the horror of having NO CHOICE in one's life but to EITHER burn or fall zillions of feet to a fully hiddeous death. What a fucking CHOICE!!!!!

I truly don't know if I can attend a 10 - year event.

I can't even feel my arms right now.

We were there for each other in childhood, childhood trauma, childhood horror, growing-up, finding ways to smile. She was FULLy a MAJOR component in my life and I can't even attend a fucking 10 ceremony! What Balls!!! Huh!?!?!

I'm sorry Karen.
_________________________

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This nation has lost its mind!

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#369601 - 09/06/11 02:42 PM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: Still]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
Not sure what I will do here Robbie. Lost a man who sat at my kitchen table just weeks before. I watched a kid who lost his Dad grow up in my house too. His old man should be real proud of him.

Out here we see cars decorated by name with "in loving memory of XXX" lost 9-11. Twice a day I cross over the harbor maybe a mile away from it all and shake my head.

The young man who lost his Dad keep his memory in a very personal way. There is no way he will be at the new WTC next week surrounded by the "Talking Heads".

Do it your way is the bottom line. She knows she mattered 40 years ago. She knows she made a difference 10 years ago too.

Keith



_________________________
"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#369609 - 09/06/11 04:19 PM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: kb8715]
CruxFidelis Offline


Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
I don't think remembering someone close to you, who died in the attacks has to be about watching certain media coverage or attending a certain event. She is there in your heart, Robbie. You have to hold onto the positive memories of how she impacted your life in whatever way that makes sense to you... There's no need to "fit" your grief into a box.

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ďIf a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.Ē

- Saint John of the Cross

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#369660 - 09/07/11 06:52 AM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: CruxFidelis]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6422
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Thank you Keith and CF. I probably should never have looked at, or listened to youtube clips of 9/11. It's not natural. Its certainly not a natural part of healing and or mourning. I guess we ought not re-live a horror of a death. I just wanted to have enough guts to face what she faced. Falied...but its not natural.

Feeling very empty about it all, but I do realized what we had is not and was not ever to be actually understood by anyone at a ceremony.

Thank yo again for the support and direction.

_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#369724 - 09/07/11 09:48 PM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: Still]
Riley Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 597
Loc: USA
Hey Robbie,

9/11 shook me deep. I was 14 living in ct. I had friends who lost parents, my Dad worked just across the river in NJ and as soon as they said it was an attack I suddenly realized my father was in NYC that morning, I realized he was safe when he came and got me at 12:30 and explained to me what really happened and what it meant. The images are burned into my mind especially when the office dragged a kid out of class and I realized that his father had passed away.

Robbie your friend is a true american hero, you should be proud that you knew her. In my opinion you don't need to go to a ceremony to remember her. Think of her, maybe do something you two liked to do as children. I think a personal mourning means more to you and her then a group of big wigs talking.

Hang in there


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#369732 - 09/08/11 12:20 AM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: Riley]
overcomer4life Offline


Registered: 02/25/09
Posts: 198
My heart goes out to everyone who lives in or near one of the sites where the attacks occurred. I caught some footage on CNN last night and it took me back to that day. I can only IMAGINE how you feel having acutally known someone who was there in the midst.

You have my support. All of you!


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#369757 - 09/08/11 12:18 PM 9-11 +10 [Re: overcomer4life]
kb8715 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 808
This is the email the 5000 people I work with in NYC just got:

Ten years ago, nearly 3,000 lives were lost in the deadliest attack on American soil. It was an event that forever changed the life of our city ,our country, and the world . It was an event that has been woven into the fabric of our history, touching every American. And while it remains one of the most catastrophic experiences that we as a city have faced, we have faced it together. We remember together, we will rebuild together, and we are stronger than ever.

This Sunday will mark the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Please pause to remember those lost, to think of the families and friends of those who died, and to honor the heroes of that day.Take time to thank those who served and continue to serve to protect, defend, and maintain our freedom.


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"You can get far in life by pushing except through a door marked PULL...." Profile quote in my oldest son's senior year HS Yearbook.

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#369966 - 09/12/11 10:23 AM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: kb8715]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6422
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I survived the day. I did lots with the kids and my ex-wife. She has tons of urgent projects for her house. It was a great way to keep focused on other items and still look at 9-11 and Karen is small doses.

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This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#369978 - 09/12/11 04:06 PM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: Still]
Riley Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 597
Loc: USA
Glad to hear that Robbie


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#369982 - 09/12/11 04:59 PM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: Riley]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
I was at work that day and I could not stop crying when I first learnt of it. I could not concentrate at work-I asked to leave early, but I was not allowed. I wanted to grief in private.

I know my grief then was so deep and I can only imagine how much deeper it would've been if i knew someone that lost his/her life there, but after ten years I have not forgotten that horrible event, and I know I will never forget it. How can I?

My heart, my thoughts and my prayers are with those that in any way were directly affected by this event.

Robbie, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend!



Edited by Czaesar72 (09/12/11 05:03 PM)
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Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#370016 - 09/13/11 11:38 AM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: Czaesar72]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
There is something especially difficult about dealing with the aftermath of a tragic event that affected us directly yet at the same time is shared by others in the wider world who don't have a personal connection to it. In some ways it may feel like they are taking away from your grief since they suffered no personal loss and therefore should just stay out if it. Iím not saying thatís rational but feelings arenít supposed to be I guess.

I speak with experience on this subject since in my life Iíve been witness to a couple of very public, tragic events where people I knew personally have died. Both events caught the attention of the press, and subsequently everyone and their dog were commenting on it. This made me very angry since my first reaction was that they have no right to involve themselves in such a private matter, the private part being that people I knew and cared about had died. However, the circumstances of their deaths made it a public matter so I just had to suck it up and accept the publicís comments, even when they didnít have a clue what they were talking about. Just my thoughts. JS


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Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And weíll change the world.


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#370170 - 09/15/11 10:24 AM Re: 9-11 +10 [Re: Czaesar72]
IrishDadTx Offline


Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 53
Loc: Texas
I always have a sad experience around 9/11. Childhood friend of ours died in the South Tower (only 32) and he was a good guy. What's disturbing for me is this is the kid that first triggered a reaction from me that I didn't even know I would have -- it shocked us both.

I don't know how it happened, but he and my brother had wrestled me to the ground horsing around or whatever and Richie (my friend who passed away) began tickling me and wouldn't stop.

I freaked out - panic attack type thing. This was around age 13-14-15 something like that. I almost started crying and was shaking and truly scared to death. I think I told him that I couldn't breathe and that it scared me or some lie to that effect.

It was the first hint (looking back now) that something had happened to me. To this day, I can't stand to be tickled, it gives me a panic attack type of feeling, and I can't watch anything 9/11 without being reminded of Richie, which reminds me of all of us playing, which reminds me of the incident, which reminds me I was abused.

Kind of a fubar spiral...


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