Newest Members
rhyoung, Jefferson22, OxfordArms, Anony_mous, Drew6991x
12367 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
gryffindor (67), KevinSweeney (57), latinflavor815 (52), latin_flavor_815 (52), RTMark (33), sabooka (35), southpaw10 (46)
Who's Online
4 registered (Obi, 3 invisible), 14 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12367 Members
74 Forums
63553 Topics
444026 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#369507 - 09/05/11 02:06 PM Re: post removed [Re: hopeandtry]
hopeandtry Offline


Registered: 07/28/10
Posts: 476
I felt shitty again this morning because of second guessing myself (as usual). Thankfully my best friend reminded me of some things (about him and myself):

1) It was fine for me to tell him how his actions affect me. He needs to know that.
2) Though he needs to know how his actions affect me, I also have the ability to not respond to him whatsoever...even if I respond to tell him how I feel, the point is that I responded AT ALL and that tells him that contacting me is okay (even if I say it's not).
3) Though it is normal for me to worry about how my words affect him due to his shaky state, I am not responsible for 1) how he feels 2) what he does an 3) how he responds. That is, if he gets all depressed due to me standing up for myself, it is not my problem.

It is really hard to let go of worrying about him because (as Martin said) I try to be understanding...too much so sometimes.

Anyway, I thought I'd post this for the benefit of other supporters or anyone else. We have to make people treat us the way we want to be treated, not by our words, but by our actions. If we let them push us around, they will.


Top
#369532 - 09/05/11 08:37 PM Re: post removed [Re: hopeandtry]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Hope,

Your first answers are right, make them the only answers. When the "other" answers come in, shoo them away with validating the first answers.

No second guessing, you are making right decisions, choose the first answer again and again and again,

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.