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#369481 - 09/05/11 09:01 AM Sagging is a sexual thing, right?
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Good morning, all -

I'm sure you're familiar with sagging - I grew up just ahead of the start of this trend and the conversation has always gone back and forth whether this is meant to be sexual or not.

Sagging can be triggering for me, depending on the person, but for the most part it looks ridiculous and sloppy. If I ever try doing it (Certainly not in public ... :)) I'm struck with how hard it is to walk around with your pants like that.

There does seem to be a sexual, triggering component to it - whether the sagger person acknowledges it or not. It's a way to let people think about what you look like with no pants on, right? More to the point, and maybe this speaks to my journey, letting other people see you undressed or underdressed has a sexual/power component to it that I've never been able to articulate well. People who sag seem to be completely okay with being seen in a sexual way and the general public seems content to go along with it. I haven't posted a topic recently but I was just thinking about it and thought I'd throw it out there for comments.

Cheers,
- S -


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#369569 - 09/06/11 06:06 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
cr0psey Offline


Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 4
I don't think so. I do this sometimes myself, and like many others, I just do it because I like the look. It might have roots in sexual power, I honestly don't know the history behind it, but rest assured, nobody who does it these days is doing it to express some kind of sexual power over anyone else.


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#369588 - 09/06/11 11:06 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: cr0psey]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
What's the best way, then, to remove the triggering aspect? Walk around going "Nobody's trying to sexual"?


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#369590 - 09/06/11 12:35 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
I Must be old

What the hell is Sagging?

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#369592 - 09/06/11 01:03 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: whome]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Where the younger lads sag their pants to allow the world to enjoy their underpants. We gave the world sagging, SA gave the world Vuvuzelas - we all have things we're not proud of. :P


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#369600 - 09/06/11 02:36 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
cr0psey Offline


Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 4
Originally Posted By: Shaun The Sheep
What's the best way, then, to remove the triggering aspect? Walk around going "Nobody's trying to sexual"?


Hmm, I really don't know what to say. Do you see a counselor or therapist? Maybe you can bring it up with him/her.


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#369610 - 09/06/11 04:26 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: cr0psey]
Freedom49 Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
As I understand it and this is what I was told, it started in the prisons. The men would get clothes that would not fit and they usually just had to deal with the sagging. As they got out of prison it was kind of a hold over that became popular in the gangs as a sign you had been in the "big house" lol.

Soon it just got to be a fad. We have a black guy where I work in the OR who wears his scrubs like that. I commented one time that he had on cute underwear teasing him thinking that may be he was not aware it was showing but soon realized he intended to show and in spite of that seem to object that I would comment. I mean I would assume if someone deliberately exposed his underwear he would be expecting people to see it and comments would be a matter of course but apparently not. Weird.

Now I suspect boys do it because it's the fad and also I suspect to say I am available. I look at it as saying "I'm easy" but that's just me. It looks really stupid to me but I have to admit it can be triggering to see at times on certain individuals.

I do not think it is intentionally sexual but it certainly does draw ones attention to that part of the body on them when otherwise you would not notice. I know most women seem to note the bum of a guy when cruising them from what they have told me and so it could be an unconcious mating thing on some level like tight jeans and T shirts used to be in my day.

Roger


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#369636 - 09/06/11 10:28 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sagging_(fashion)
((shaun)))
It has gone around that "sagging" started in the prison system with ill fitting clothing, and belts were a no-no as often the wearer would need to be pulled down from said same belt in the morning, where it somehow slipped all the way up to their necks and then got wrapped around the light fixture. As fashions go, this one is actually pretty tame lest we are reminded of thongs, mico skirts and nipple enhancements? I mean really, what is with old guys, white socks and crocs, c'mon?

Triggers are a part of our recovery. Triggering helps us to identify unspoken feelings and to reason on their origins. Abuse controls bring out triggers in different ways, but triggers can be reverse engineered to take us back to the underlying issue, what about the abuse emotionally overwhelms us. Then we sift through the memories and emotions, safely protecting our hurt selves and helping us see the need to grow from the incidents. Mentally we gain control over the emotions as we understand the issues, and calm the emotions, until they are manageable, and we can move up.
What folks wear out will push the limits of decency, have you see the video of the real people of Walmart!?!! Still, if we could not sop vulgar language in our media, what chance does anyone have to stop or even slow sloven clothing arrangement? While some governments have enacted ordinances to ban certain public displays of this type, who is going to enforce it?

It isn't the folks that decide to wear their clothes in raging rebellious fashion that is the underlying issue, "they didn't start the fire, it was been always burning since the world's been turning".

Sam

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#369653 - 09/07/11 01:00 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: SamV]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
I dig it, man. And again - I've read everything Wikipedia has to say about it. I've heard the history and fine, most people don't see it as a sexual thing.

But ... some people do. And I occasionally get triggered by it. I wanted to bring it up as a topic since I know that some people see it as a sexual thing. In fact, there are some porn sites that I visited years ago that were nothing more than low-grade porn based on sagging.

As you said, 'identify unspoken feelings and reason on their origins' ... clearly sagging has some kind of significance for me and simply experiencing and being triggered brings me no closer to the answer so I wanted to throw it out there. What would sagging and being triggered at the thought of people seeing me in that state mean? Is it a sexual power thing?

My mind tends to go a thousand ways from there and nothing ever resonates with me so I'm not going to bother getting too deep. I've found that this group of people can cut through the mental clutter and arrive at a conclusion much faster than me by myself sitting here and stressing about it.

Cheers,
-S-


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#369654 - 09/07/11 01:46 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Could it be satisfying a need to be noticed, accepted, a need to be seen as desirable?

Just a thought.


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#369656 - 09/07/11 01:59 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
whome Offline
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Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey we love our VUVU's, dont mess with them. lol. They might look phallic, but once the horn sounds all desire leaves.



Edited by whome (09/07/11 02:01 AM)
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#369657 - 09/07/11 02:04 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
whome Offline
Member
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Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hey we love our VUVU's, dont mess with them. lol. They might look phallic, but once the horn sounds all desire leaves.

Our youngsters also hang their butts out for the world to see, but hey Plumbers have been doing it for like forever, and I think that the underpants are a better option. Perhaps we could start a new trend for Plumbers? lol







Edited by whome (09/07/11 02:05 AM)
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#369672 - 09/07/11 09:02 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Quote:

Could it be satisfying a need to be noticed, accepted, a need to be seen as desirable?

Just a thought.


Probably ... My personal history is such that I never really put together what kind of CSA I experienced, only that I exhibit the signs of a person who was abused based on my behavior. It took years before I was ready to admit that.

With all my acting out (when I was acting out ... :)) I did a lot of armchair self-analysis and came to the same conclusion. I wanted to be accepted and/or desired. I can think of a lot of shame-based discipline that my parents gave me growing up but it wouldn't have been considered sexual abuse. They were more about emotional, verbal and occasional physical abuse.

So if I'm seeing sagging as this sexual thing and if I'm looking to be noticed, accepted and seen as desired - what does that mean? What does that tell me about my personal CSA? I'd really love to understand this better for my own personal journey.

P.S.: I hated vuvuzelas - first time I was introduced to them was watching the World Cup last year. I could hear this weird droning sound on the TV and nobody could tell me what they were.



Edited by Shaun The Sheep (09/07/11 09:03 AM)

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#369681 - 09/07/11 11:42 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Quote:
So if I'm seeing sagging as this sexual thing and if I'm looking to be noticed, accepted and seen as desired - what does that mean? What does that tell me about my personal CSA? I'd really love to understand this better for my own personal journey.


Well, I for one think it means you are human. It is natural for a boy/man to want to be desired, accepted, a part of something bigger than themselves. If that need gets met in a healthy way then we develope a healthy self image of ourselves and are not so susceptible to the grooming and seduction of others for their purpose.

If on the other hand we do not get what we need, we will seek it out wherever and however we can find it and that can leave us vulnerable I suspect to unsavory attention. This has been indeed true in my life even at my age. I have done a lot of work on that lately to seek out healthy ways to satisfy that need without making myself vulnerable to those with hidden agendas.

Roger


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#369683 - 09/07/11 12:27 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Quote:
It is natural for a boy/man to want to be desired, accepted, a part of something bigger than themselves. If that need gets met in a healthy way then we develope a healthy self image of ourselves and are not so susceptible to the grooming and seduction of others for their purpose.

If on the other hand we do not get what we need, we will seek it out wherever and however we can find it and that can leave us vulnerable I suspect to unsavory attention.


For whatever reason - that's resonating with me. I think I have a real issue with acceptance and, for some reasaon, I've sexualized it. I'd really love to figure out what that means and why it exists.

Assuming my CSA happened when I was too young to remember it, why would I be so specific about it being tied to acceptance? I feel that it's like a mental splinter just under the surface, or a scratch that I can sand out if I can just get to it.

Now that I'm older - on one hand, I want to be accepted - on the other I've gone for years being so ashamed of my body and freaked out at the thought of being seen that I go out of my way not to attract attention. For the gym rats, I'm sure you know that doing different weightlifting moves means that your butt is shoved out while you do a squat rack or something. I've been so self-conscious about this that I've injured myself trying to lift the same weight without feeling 'exposed.' Additionally, for a long time I was way, waaay too conscious of being taken advantage of so that I'm watching every guy trying to figure out who the pervert is. Who wants to go through life feeling like they're the one straight guy in the prison shower room?

I've gotten better at that on my own - slowly dealing with the idea that, people may be looking but they probably aren't. And even if they are, that's their problem, not mine. Additionally, if there are predators, I'm a lot stronger than I was and I can dismantle them pretty efficiently.

Clearly there are a lot of body issues, shame and sexualization of things that don't deserve to be sexualized. I've found a partial answer in coming to understand that my thoughts aren't dialed in correctly and adjusting for that. I feel like my head is a compass that's been pulled off by a nearby magnet. I can correct for it and remind myself what 'north' is but I think I'd like to get rid of the magnet - if that makes sense.

Thanks for reading. cool

~S


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#369690 - 09/07/11 02:49 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Quote:
Clearly there are a lot of body issues, shame and sexualization of things that don't deserve to be sexualized. I've found a partial answer in coming to understand that my thoughts aren't dialed in correctly and adjusting for that. I feel like my head is a compass that's been pulled off by a nearby magnet. I can correct for it and remind myself what 'north' is but I think I'd like to get rid of the magnet - if that makes sense.


It is an interesting way of describing it and it makes perfect sense. That is why I have a sponsor and accountability partners in my life's walk now. I describe it this way. I have grown up with a set of lies that I have tested over the years and seem to be true because of the way I was raised. In reality they are not true and have caused me great shame embarrassment and discomfort that I have had to deal with and like you recognize and compensate for in different ways. These guys that I have in my life now are like mirrors that help me see blind spots the lies have produced. They help correct my compass if you will till I can lose the magnet. They help me see what I can be totally blind to.

I did not have that years ago. I fumbled around making mistakes and bad choices because I did not get or receive those corrections that I needed to keep me on course. By doing that I now have a much straighter course and you know what? It really takes a lot of pressure off me. I suspect we were not meant to do this alone. I am glad you are here getting feedback and help in correcting your course. Sometimes though we may need a professional navigator in the person of a therapist or counselor to course correct. Don't be afraid or hesitant to look for one from time to time.

Just some thoughts

Roger



Edited by Freedom49 (09/07/11 02:53 PM)

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#369693 - 09/07/11 03:07 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Oh totally - found a great therapist who normally only works with abused kids. She took me on, convinced me to get on some meds and the results have been like night and day.

Would that I could continue - waiting for insurance to kick in - meanwhile I have a lot of caring friends and family. Some of them are accountability partners (I like that idea ... I think I was doing that with some people without realizing it) and some of them just like me for me and they aren't part of 'recovery'.

Going back to the original topic though - what does the triggering tell me? Putting all these pieces together - what am I saying to myself?


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#369696 - 09/07/11 03:15 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I suggest you answer that last question with the first thing that pops into your head. It is usually right on and see what you come up with.


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#369702 - 09/07/11 03:57 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
I've done that - beyond 'I've been abused and this is me responding to my abuse' - I don't get any closer. I was hoping that someone else's experience could help me get some insight.


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#369722 - 09/07/11 09:34 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Let me add some thoughts because I've been mulling this over all afternoon:

1. Since you asked - the first thing that pops into my head is a mix of emotions surrounding "God, I wish I looked like that." I want to be that person or, by sex, connect with that person.

2. All I get is 'that emotion'. Nothing else. Any time I've acted out by myself, it's amazing how quickly I go from "I feel connected" to "I hate myself ... this was stupid." I've never been able to reconcile how quickly and completely I can go from one idea to the other. Weird.

All that being said, I've watched what triggers me carefully and I haven't acted out in years. Having gotten myself to a certain level - I'd like to take that forward by understand what is throwing me off. All I can narrow it down to is:

  • Sagging
  • Ideal Male (guy with 'ideal body type' - swimmer's build, etc.)


I project on this person that they will have an easier life than mine, a better life than mine and I wish I was that person. I want to be that person or be connected with them somehow. I liken it to that archetype you get when someone is so into a famous person and makes the decision to stalk them. That famous person represents everything that other person isn't, but wishes that they were and they want to be around them in every imaginable way. At the bottom of it - the want to be that person. It's creepy to recognize that you could easily fall into that behavior if you didn't commit yourself to recovery.

When I take a step back, I realize that I like my life a lot and, stresses aside, I would't want to be someone else. What I'd like to do is understand why I sexualize things that don't deserve it, understand what the triggers tell me about my own CSA (and, importantly, who it might have been ...) and finally get it processed so it becomes like so many other painful issues that I don't think about now that I've got it straight in my head.


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#369729 - 09/07/11 11:57 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Quote:
"God, I wish I looked like that." I want to be that person or, by sex, connect with that person.


Yes that is it exactly. I kinda wondered if you would see that. It is not unusual especially after going through all of this to envy those handsome young carefree guys. I used to look at them and so want to be them. No abuse, no hangups, no bad habits and no hurts. It is intoxicating to imagine what they were like, what their lives were like and imagine what mine could have been like. So yeah I do get that. Good that you see that and good that you understand that sexualizing that only makes it worse.

Be happy for them. And really you have no idea what their like and what they deal with too.


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#369761 - 09/08/11 12:59 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
That, I think, is important because for years I struggled with my family's line of "Yeah, he's not so great ..." It violated their sense of propriety to recognize that some people had it better than we did, did things better than we did it, etc. You couldn't build someone up unless it was a means to tear them down.

Maybe it sounds over-simplified and that's why I didn't connect the two. I felt like there had to be more to the story since this was such a strong emotion.


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#369764 - 09/08/11 01:48 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
Still Offline
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Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
EDITED:

Sorry. I did not know you were all speaking metaphorically. Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong "sagging" pants thing. Sorry.



Edited by Robbie Brown (09/08/11 10:46 PM)
Edit Reason: correction
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#369785 - 09/08/11 07:51 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Still]
Driftwood Offline


Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 86
Loc: Colorado
I once saw a guy across campus, shirtless, low slung pants, playing frisbee with his friends. Got immensely triggered for all the reasons I think you guys are talking about. His body, carefree attitude, casualness with his friends. As Shaun was saying, I think I projected onto him that he had some kind of idealized life, one better than mine, and I wanted, for a moment to be him. It’s a horrible feeling, to be diminished that way, to compare yourself and let yourself feel so lacking. Anyway, the next moment, he calls out my name and comes running over to me. I didn’t recognize him across the quad, but he was a student of mine! And my first thought (I will never forget this) was, “Oh, it’s only Kevin.” (Not that I thought there was anything wrong with Kevin being Kevin. But just that he was another real life human being.) He had questions for me about an assignment. He struggled in the classroom. He had a world of problems all his own. A valuable lesson for me.

I love what Freedom49 (Roger) said about those boys and men we idealize: “Be happy for them... you have no idea what they’re like and what they deal with too.”


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#369788 - 09/08/11 08:17 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Driftwood]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
I agree - I think what I've been suffering with is this sexualization of jealousy. When I see triggering images I've been practicing thinking to myself "good for you. It's good that you look that way and I hope to one day look that way myself."

It's been helpful.


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#369794 - 09/08/11 10:04 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Driftwood Offline


Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 86
Loc: Colorado
I love that. "Good for you." To honor what's beautiful in someone else allows you to escape feeling diminished by them. And you can reaffirm yourself in your own efforts in that direction (or some other area where you've different gifts). I'm trying to learn that in the arts--when I see someone do beautiful creative work, instead of being jealous, I want to admire them and let their successes spur to me excellence in my own work.


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#369828 - 09/09/11 09:43 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Still]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
@Robbie Brown: You're talking about the same thing, dude. Notice how I've sexualized something that very few other people have. It's like walking into a room and admitting that you're triggered by getting a soda out of the machine. Everyone else is like "What? It's just a soda, right?" For them, it's just a soda, for you it's something else entirely.

Freud was famous for saying "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

It appears I'm not alone on this and I'm grateful for the insight. I'm practicing my little motto that I mentioned above and it's working out okay so far. No major life changes ... just a little more quiet. That's all I can ask for. smile


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#369856 - 09/09/11 07:53 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
I seldom post on the threads by way of taking part in the conversation these days but this one caught my attention so thought I would throw in my two cents...

To me it's simply a style of dress. No more. No less. Certainly there are other styles that evoke more of a sexual response in me than this one. I think part of the problem that seems to be common in a lot of survivors (and others to some extent I suppose) is that we tend to over-sexualize our relationships, coworkers, friends, acquaintances, strangers, hairstyles, clothing styles, the list could go on and on. People or styles, etc. take on sexual overtones with us but it does not mean that there is something inherently wrong in having friends, coworkers, or the way we choose to dress, tho I'll grant you there IS a line between decency and decadence.

The point is that just because I react with a sexual response to someone or to the style with which he or she presents him or herself doesn't mean there is necessarily anything wrong with them or with their presentation. It may well mean however that I've got more processing to do if I find myself triggered by them. It's important for me to know where they end and I begin, and in knowing that I'll be able to discern my stuff from theirs.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#369860 - 09/10/11 12:35 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: WalkingSouth]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
A friend once said that we do not see the world as it is, we see the world as WE ARE.

Probably a lot of truth to that.


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#369970 - 09/12/11 12:38 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
Driftwood Offline


Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 86
Loc: Colorado
Something in this thread jumped out at me before and rereading it right now, I came across this comment Shaun made: “What I'd like to do is understand why I sexualize things that don't deserve it, understand what the triggers tell me about my own CSA (and, importantly, who it might have been ...) and finally get it processed so it becomes like so many other painful issues that I don't think about now that I've got it straight in my head.”

I also can’t remember my initial abuse or who abused me. Still don’t know what to do about that. Sometimes it drives me crazy. Part of me wants to keep examining, questioning, looking--hoping some memory will appear, and another part of me wants to just let it go. Is it healthier to keep trying to remember or to make peace with the fact that you don’t know and will probably never know?


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#370119 - 09/14/11 04:50 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Driftwood]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Dunno, man. Like I said - sometimes the triggers feel like a splinter that's just below your skin. You know it's there and you feel like 'this time, I should be able to get it.'

For times like this where things really clicked, there were 100 times where things didn't come together and I had to accept with a lot of sadness and regret, that I had to let it go for now.

What I can say, if you're struggling to make sense of your feelings, is that acting out with porn or masturbation or anything else invariably does not resolve any issues for you. It doesn't give you any clarity, doesn't help you understand anything better. If it does anything, it covers your thoughts with guilt for allowing those concepts to control you one more time.

It's your choice if you want to masturbate or watch porn ... I'm simply pointing out what hasn't worked for me.


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#370133 - 09/14/11 09:52 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Driftwood Offline


Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 86
Loc: Colorado
Shaun,

Don't know how this happens (and scares me a bit to ponder the implications), but I think you may have your finger on the pulse of something. Thing is, I've been struggling with my thoughts, specifically with clarity and looking at reality and simultaneously wondering if my easy escape into things like porn/masturbation is affecting that and feeling that maybe I want to check that...
I can't look at porn or even masturbate guilt-free (well, that's a whole set of other problems I may need to look into at sometime). But the point is, what I want right now is understanding. I want to make sense of my feelings. What I need is focused attention in the present. And I think I'm willing to make some sacrifices to see that happen. Just need some motivation. Thanks for motivating me. (And thank you, universe, for this site.)


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#370260 - 09/16/11 09:19 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Driftwood]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
I guess what it means is that we're all going through the same thing in roughly the same way. Glad that you find it so valuable.

Cheers,
~S


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