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#369481 - 09/05/11 09:01 AM Sagging is a sexual thing, right?
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Good morning, all -

I'm sure you're familiar with sagging - I grew up just ahead of the start of this trend and the conversation has always gone back and forth whether this is meant to be sexual or not.

Sagging can be triggering for me, depending on the person, but for the most part it looks ridiculous and sloppy. If I ever try doing it (Certainly not in public ... :)) I'm struck with how hard it is to walk around with your pants like that.

There does seem to be a sexual, triggering component to it - whether the sagger person acknowledges it or not. It's a way to let people think about what you look like with no pants on, right? More to the point, and maybe this speaks to my journey, letting other people see you undressed or underdressed has a sexual/power component to it that I've never been able to articulate well. People who sag seem to be completely okay with being seen in a sexual way and the general public seems content to go along with it. I haven't posted a topic recently but I was just thinking about it and thought I'd throw it out there for comments.

Cheers,
- S -


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#369569 - 09/06/11 06:06 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
cr0psey Offline


Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 4
I don't think so. I do this sometimes myself, and like many others, I just do it because I like the look. It might have roots in sexual power, I honestly don't know the history behind it, but rest assured, nobody who does it these days is doing it to express some kind of sexual power over anyone else.


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#369588 - 09/06/11 11:06 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: cr0psey]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
What's the best way, then, to remove the triggering aspect? Walk around going "Nobody's trying to sexual"?


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#369590 - 09/06/11 12:35 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
I Must be old

What the hell is Sagging?

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#369592 - 09/06/11 01:03 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: whome]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
Where the younger lads sag their pants to allow the world to enjoy their underpants. We gave the world sagging, SA gave the world Vuvuzelas - we all have things we're not proud of. :P


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#369600 - 09/06/11 02:36 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
cr0psey Offline


Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 4
Originally Posted By: Shaun The Sheep
What's the best way, then, to remove the triggering aspect? Walk around going "Nobody's trying to sexual"?


Hmm, I really don't know what to say. Do you see a counselor or therapist? Maybe you can bring it up with him/her.


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#369610 - 09/06/11 04:26 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: cr0psey]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
As I understand it and this is what I was told, it started in the prisons. The men would get clothes that would not fit and they usually just had to deal with the sagging. As they got out of prison it was kind of a hold over that became popular in the gangs as a sign you had been in the "big house" lol.

Soon it just got to be a fad. We have a black guy where I work in the OR who wears his scrubs like that. I commented one time that he had on cute underwear teasing him thinking that may be he was not aware it was showing but soon realized he intended to show and in spite of that seem to object that I would comment. I mean I would assume if someone deliberately exposed his underwear he would be expecting people to see it and comments would be a matter of course but apparently not. Weird.

Now I suspect boys do it because it's the fad and also I suspect to say I am available. I look at it as saying "I'm easy" but that's just me. It looks really stupid to me but I have to admit it can be triggering to see at times on certain individuals.

I do not think it is intentionally sexual but it certainly does draw ones attention to that part of the body on them when otherwise you would not notice. I know most women seem to note the bum of a guy when cruising them from what they have told me and so it could be an unconcious mating thing on some level like tight jeans and T shirts used to be in my day.

Roger


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#369636 - 09/06/11 10:28 PM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Freedom49]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5945
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sagging_(fashion)
((shaun)))
It has gone around that "sagging" started in the prison system with ill fitting clothing, and belts were a no-no as often the wearer would need to be pulled down from said same belt in the morning, where it somehow slipped all the way up to their necks and then got wrapped around the light fixture. As fashions go, this one is actually pretty tame lest we are reminded of thongs, mico skirts and nipple enhancements? I mean really, what is with old guys, white socks and crocs, c'mon?

Triggers are a part of our recovery. Triggering helps us to identify unspoken feelings and to reason on their origins. Abuse controls bring out triggers in different ways, but triggers can be reverse engineered to take us back to the underlying issue, what about the abuse emotionally overwhelms us. Then we sift through the memories and emotions, safely protecting our hurt selves and helping us see the need to grow from the incidents. Mentally we gain control over the emotions as we understand the issues, and calm the emotions, until they are manageable, and we can move up.
What folks wear out will push the limits of decency, have you see the video of the real people of Walmart!?!! Still, if we could not sop vulgar language in our media, what chance does anyone have to stop or even slow sloven clothing arrangement? While some governments have enacted ordinances to ban certain public displays of this type, who is going to enforce it?

It isn't the folks that decide to wear their clothes in raging rebellious fashion that is the underlying issue, "they didn't start the fire, it was been always burning since the world's been turning".

Sam

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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#369653 - 09/07/11 01:00 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: SamV]
Shaun The Sheep Offline


Registered: 03/17/10
Posts: 188
Loc: West Coast
I dig it, man. And again - I've read everything Wikipedia has to say about it. I've heard the history and fine, most people don't see it as a sexual thing.

But ... some people do. And I occasionally get triggered by it. I wanted to bring it up as a topic since I know that some people see it as a sexual thing. In fact, there are some porn sites that I visited years ago that were nothing more than low-grade porn based on sagging.

As you said, 'identify unspoken feelings and reason on their origins' ... clearly sagging has some kind of significance for me and simply experiencing and being triggered brings me no closer to the answer so I wanted to throw it out there. What would sagging and being triggered at the thought of people seeing me in that state mean? Is it a sexual power thing?

My mind tends to go a thousand ways from there and nothing ever resonates with me so I'm not going to bother getting too deep. I've found that this group of people can cut through the mental clutter and arrive at a conclusion much faster than me by myself sitting here and stressing about it.

Cheers,
-S-


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#369654 - 09/07/11 01:46 AM Re: Sagging is a sexual thing, right? [Re: Shaun The Sheep]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Could it be satisfying a need to be noticed, accepted, a need to be seen as desirable?

Just a thought.


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