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#369251 - 09/01/11 05:50 PM A christian celibate gay
BigKid Offline


Registered: 09/01/11
Posts: 5
There are no threads in this forum about the spiritual importance of overcoming childhood abuse and what a gay man can do if he wants to become a good christian?


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#369266 - 09/01/11 11:43 PM Re: A christian celibate gay [Re: BigKid]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Welcome BigKid,

Please share with us what you have learned in your search.

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#369267 - 09/02/11 12:08 AM Re: A christian celibate gay [Re: BigKid]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 856
Loc: Kc,Mo
This is something i posted a long time ago , it really does not talk about being gay but it does talk a little about overcoming . Being gay is just a small part of life man .

It is no different from any other thing in the bible . It falls under the category of sin but like so many other things it gets taken out of proportion. Gay or not Gay sin abounds in all of us it does not matter your thing is no different from my thing.Your struggle is not different from my struggle.

If God so convicts you of any sin in your life that is between you and God no one else. NO ONE has the power or the Authority to judge you for anything. We all struggle in areas of our lives with sin . weather you think being gay is a sin that i do not no . I do not think being attracted to other men is a sin i think committing Sexual acts with another man is sin. But that is MY OPINION. But so is having Sex Unmarried sex with a woman so either way your struggle with sin is no different from my sin or any others. Give your life to him and HE will except you in any condition and as long as you are committing your life to him he will change your life . He will take things from you and he will add things to you. You just go as fare as you can and do as much as you can and what you can not do he will do. And on HIS TIME TABLE not ANYONE else .

He will mold you into who he wants you to be not anyone else and if you fall like WE ALL DO and Countless others in the BIBLE than you will only realize that you are in the same war everyone else is in. It just so happens that people have made Being gay more important than all the other sin that abounds in the world to take the focus off of their own sin.

Over coming abuse through your faith is crucial. With out my faith i would be dead or in a padded room locked up somewhere trust me on this. This is something that has sustained my sanity and has given me more than i could have ever thought possible. All you have to do is decide weather you want to walk with Jesus under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES or SITUATIONS fully commit to do it his way instead of your own and he promises to help you in this life and the one to come. John 7:17

New International Version (NIV)

17 Anyone who CHOOSES to do the WILL of God WILL FIND OUT whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own.

but here is some of what i wrote it is long and feel free to go through some of my other spirituality forum post . Just click on my name on the side of the screen .



When you are fighting and struggling to live for Christ you are excepting his very plan for your life, he created you to worship him and supplies grace when you are in this state of struggling. As long you are fighting for his sake you are doing what he created you to do . Worship him depend on him not by your own strength but by his power working through you . “ the holy spirit” cleansing you from ALL unrighteousness so he may dwell fully in you.






We where on the path to destruction before Christ intervened weather we found him or through some one else that God chose to use to open our eyes to the truth we were saved from a life of witch we tend to condemn most of the time .
This is part of the reason the church is failing in so many ways. No one is excepting the fact that the very same people that are coming to church for healing and searching for Christ in us are finding nothing more than the world is offering them , rejection and condemnation. The very same people that have been delivered and have had the scales removed from their eyes are now blinded by there own self righteousness . We condemn those who where once us before we met and developed a relationship with our Lord who came to heal the broken hearted the broken and the wounded not just the people who we think are worthy to be saved by our fleshy earthly standard . But Christ died for all not just some . Yes even the ones that we have written off and cast away to be condemned for the most vile acts , in fact I would argue he wants to show his love to them the most.

God wants the most wretched and vile people so he can show just how great of a God he really is. He has agape love a love that transcends all our feeble minds can ever imagine . Not the earthy fleshly love we try to throw around.
this because of kind of love , I love you because of this or that .
But not our God his love is so magnificent that it is hard for us to comprehend just how loving he really is.
The word love is thrown around these days as if it means almost nothing . I love this because , I love this song , I love this artist, I love those shoes, I think I am in love . Love is so much more than all of these stereo typical automated responses.

For our God is love and if you do not no what love is just look at all the vile and despicable things that you yourself have done will do and are even still doing now ,but yet he still loves you , he excepts you he receives you day after day he is still reining and sovereign. God continues to love you in spite of all you do and have done . His love remains . After we get saved and he begins to work in us and through us we some how forget just how we got to were we are . We think we get to pick and choose who is worthy and who is not worthy when in reality we are all as filthy rags not one is righteous it is because of this great love that god has for his people that we are allowed to still be here.

We are to be clothed with power from on high and that holy spirit that works in us and through us draws us nearer to the father and the same spirit will draw others to it . It is not us per say that people are drawn to , it is the very spirit of god that is drawing them to him through us .
God created us to worship him to adore him and the way he gets us to do that is by our struggles and hardships our sin is what turns us to god and when we are in the mist of being refined and purified it is at these moments we find ourselves depending and worshiping him seeking him the most. And through these moments we find out that we are being made new in our attitudes and minds are being renewed through the power that is working in us . He uses all of our life situations and circumstances to humble us because we will not go willingly to him humbly. We go to him proud and full of sin in our lives and this is no way to approach our loving god.

Our god wants a broken and contrite spirit as David wrote My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
   a broken and contrite heart
   you, God, will not despise
In fact I believe this is where god meets us the most is when we are broken because it is through our brokenness we will listen and are willing to listen to him.

Through this process we worship him in spirit and in truth , when we are seeking him diligently earnestly with a heart that desires what he wants . Most of the time we really mean it when we are broken and looking for answers. Well if there is one thing I no it is that god has all the answers to everything . We might not like them or even want to hear them but the truth is the truth anyhow . This god that sent his son to die for ALL of our sins who formed this whole universe with all his great wisdom and knowledge came with the greatest plan that can reach all people from every tongue, nation , or background .

What more perfect of a plan can you ask for when the very god that created all of this with his most holy and righteous being took his very blood and shed it to cover All of our sins. There is nothing more perfect than the sacrifice that occurred
on that cross. Our brains and minds I do not think will ever fully understand just what really happened that day. His plan should mean more to us each and every single day.
You can not say that about anything. This great plan should and will mean more to you the closer you become to our lord.

Think about it for a minute where you were in your life before you were clothed with power from on high. Think of all the things you used to do , all the wrongs and hurts you have caused some willingly some unwillingly. We were all wrapped up and strangled by our sin . When we began to humble ourselves and come to him willingly it was at that very moment he began a work in us that continues on until the day we go to be with him.

In this book I will give examples of how god has loved me in spite of ALL of my sin and how through my willingness to stay connected to him he gives me grace until the time he fulfills his purpose in me. Through all the times I have fallen and fallen and fallen he has used each of those falls to refine me through grace by faith . If we truly want to get where Christ would have us to be it is time to stop acting like we do not have sin In our lives ,living lies and showing the world the fake mask we put on every Sunday and start carrying one another’s burdens and fulfilling s Christ command of loving one another as we love ourselves .
We want to be forgiven by god but do not want to forgive, we want people to love us in spite of our wrongs but we will not love in spite of others wrongs. We would rather put them in a category and say well at least I am not gay , or an adulterer or what ever other category we lump them in
but all the while you are a lying ,gossiping , hypocrite. But as long as you are not “one of them” or not doing what they are doing you are some how excluded from the list.
Well I got news for you we all sin and fall short of the glory of god. But with love we can begin to work on these things . This is the greatest command Jesus gave us is to love as he has loved, this is a tall order but when you start to think about the love he has shown you it should not be that tall of an order .

We have to get to the place where we cans look at the most vile acts the most vile things and say ok I love you, because this is the only way that people can see Jesus
They see Jesus by us loving one another as Jesus loved, dare I say even YOU in all of your filthy sin, he loves you
he just simply loves you. When we stay connected to Jesus through the power of the holy spirit every thing can be looked at differently through the eyes of love through the eyes of the holy spirit.
We can take any situation and circumstance and see god working in it ,through it and using it for our benefit.
Romans 8 &28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son

That means to me in our sufferings In all circumstances and situations in this life god is to be found there somewhere some how some way.
He will conform us one way or another for his glory the faster we get on board with his plan the more he will be able to use us to glorify him. He will conform us willingly or unwillingly it is because we choose most of the time to go unwillingly we suffer so much.

When we do go willingly things are smother but in our flesh we want to rationalize everything, well most of the time god is not rational in a sense he see’s fare beyond what we can see . We can not even tell what the next day will bring but he has already for seen our whole lives . It is just hard from our humanness to understand this . God is the ultimate chess player he has every move planed out but when we try to force the move in another direction he has to plan accordingly and adjust the game . He has already told us how the story ends he has already shown us things that confirm his greatness but through all of this we still think we can do it our way
we still think we have a better plan or a better way and he just sits back and waits for us to worship him and seek him when we fall so he can pick us back up and dust us off hoping this time we will just conform to the image of Christ .

People are running around trying to play God , picking and choosing who is worthy of salvation. We are to spread the good news not pick and choose. Most of it is rejected anyway because our humanness rejects the truth of any kind. You can tell people about what Christ died for , and what he has done for you . After that it is up to them to make a choice , if they want to receive it or reject it. God gives us this same choice but we do not want to extend this same courtesy. Instead we shove it down their throat and sit back and wonder why they want nothing to do with us or Christ . Show them Love give them space let the seed be planed . Think about how many times we rejected the truth and in some cases still reject the truth but some one planted seed and another watered it . That person was the gardener and we excepted the truth at some point in time . The truth produced fruit . Give people the same courtesy , do not bible thump instead share with them what he has done for you and than be an example of Christ, love them no matter what weather they reject it or except it just love them show them respect, because God gives us all a choice and we really need to do the same to all people. Besides every one is not Your fish so to speak , you may just plant a little seed and some one else gets to water that seed another will come along at the right time and harvest what you planted .


We really just need to stop trying to play God in peoples lives. Stop trying to get them to experience God the way you experienced God . Because the truth is they will experience God how he wants them to experience him. He will meet them where they are not where you want them to be or where you think they should be, remember he met you right where you were and continues to meet you right where you are. There is no one way to get closer to God to grow in Christ . Reading the word everyday at the same time is not for everyone , is it necessary to read the word ? Yes but is there a set plan to get closer to god ? By our standards yes But God will send you where you need to go, he will send people to you, you will messages he wants you tot hear all in his timing not our timing .

You are saved but not by works but that does not mean that there is not work to do and work to be done on your part. He has given you the spirit to do All things through Christ witch will strengthen you in all of your times of distress, trouble or in want of anything. There is always work to be done on your part , Jesus is not coming down here to help you because he has given you everything you need to succeed in this life. He has given you the precious holy spirit to guide and lead us , when we tune it out is when we get into trouble .

No greater love than to lay down you life for another , meaning not just a physical death but dying daily so that love can express itself through you for the glory of God laying down your own life so that others may live .Because a lot of people have not experienced true love ,that is were we come in their life and show them the love of Christ the same love he shows us everyday expressing himself through us to them .

You no longer live for yourself but you live life for Christ because when you lived life for you,
you no where that has gotten you.
You become new meaning this is a process the old has passed and you become new only in Christ . You no longer look at the world as you used to , you have new eyes a new heart a new nature the very nature of Christ .







Faith is believing in what you can not see and EXCEPTING that Christ died to save you from ALL sin so that you can be reconciled to God through Christ . EXCEPTING this great gift is one of the hardest things. You may believe Christ died for your sin but really EXCEPTING it is a whole other matter. Because when you just simply believe this is not enough to sustain you. But EXCEPTING what Christ has done actually means you not only believe that Christ died for you but you start living out what you have believed , knowing his mercies are renewed daily EXCEPTING that you are a NEW CREATION in Christ and the OLD has past and the Newness of Christ is evident in your life , not pretending but ascending to that higher call in Christ Jesus. You do not worry about the abortion you had or the sexual sin you committed and the lies you told or the abuse you suffered . None of it matters to you any longer because you have EXCEPTED that Christ died for ALL sin.





John 15
The Vine and the Branches
 1 ;I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
   5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
   9 &l ;As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down ones life for one friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear ;fruit that will last ;and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.




Colossians 3

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

1 Corinthians 13
 1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.


Philippians 3
No Confidence in the Flesh
 1 Further, my brothers and sisters, rejoice in the Lord! It is no trouble for me to write the same things to you again, and it is a safeguard for you. 2 Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. 3 For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh; 4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence.
   If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.
 7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
 12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.


n

We are not able to worship God in all our humanness for we are to worship him in spirit and in truth we can not comprehend him and his greatness in our humanness. In fact everything in our humanness wants us to reject God but o in our spirits we commune with God we can understand God on some basic level when we worship him in spirit and truth. It is when we are not honest and truthful that we fail to connect with him.






Edited by nltsaved (09/02/11 12:12 AM)
Edit Reason: wording
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#369275 - 09/02/11 07:32 AM Re: A christian celibate gay [Re: nltsaved]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
...what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? (Micah 6:8)

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#369276 - 09/02/11 07:40 AM Re: A christian celibate gay [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
My sexuality was stolen and defiled from me before I had a chance to own it.

As a survivor, my biggest task is to review and discard the false ideas, mixed messages, and damaging experiences from the abuse.

I believe God gave each of us the gift and power of sexuality-because it is loving, intimate, and beautiful.

And I used sex in lots of ways that didn't serve me at all, including being sexual with myself, people I don't really know, and two dimensional images of other people and acts-that's the same abuse and lies the perps taught me.

I choose to walk away from that and discover healthy loving intimacy and sexuality. That's what my God wants for me.




Edited by Mountainous Buck (09/03/11 07:33 AM)
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#369316 - 09/02/11 10:53 PM Re: A christian celibate gay [Re: Mountainous Buck]
nltsaved Offline


Registered: 08/26/08
Posts: 856
Loc: Kc,Mo
what are you saying please clarify . Are you saying that you are walking away from these false ideas and mixed messages ?
or are you saying that you in gauge in these acts and it is ok ? i am kind of confused .

"And I use sex in lots of ways that don't serve me at all, including being sexual with myself, people I don't really know, and two dimensional images of other people"



I really hope you are not saying that God condones these behaviors although he understands the struggle and helps one to overcome these things in time but not that it is ok to just live like this .

I am pretty sure you are talking about this

"As a survivor, my biggest task is to review and discard the false ideas, mixed messages, and damaging experiences from the abuse".

And that because the abuse you had no chance to figure the whole sexuality thing out.And you are working on the negative effects that the abuse had on you.

I do not no please do not take this the wrong way, just trying to figure out what you are saying





Edited by nltsaved (09/02/11 10:54 PM)
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-uYCAfpxrY
TRIGGER WARNING
Video of me telling my story
you are not alone never were
WRITTEN FORM
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=339159#Post339159
Why i hate Religion but love Jesus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

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#369332 - 09/03/11 07:32 AM Re: A christian celibate gay [Re: nltsaved]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
Key word:

discard

(Typo with "use"-should be "used" as in, the past. I haven't used those things for a long time now, and experience freedom, fidelity, and healthy sexuality because I faced this stuff and got support.)





Edited by Mountainous Buck (09/03/11 08:02 PM)
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#369354 - 09/03/11 02:54 PM Re: A christian celibate gay [Re: Mountainous Buck]
BigKid Offline


Registered: 09/01/11
Posts: 5
Hi everyone its Dr. Nick!! (just being silly)

I have learned we have to face ourselves, the person we are and to challenge him that its possible to change.

In the bible it says:
Ezikel 18:31
Make ye a new heart and a new spirit.

I wonder if this means that the person you are today is not good enough and that you need to change, including an attempt to change your sexuality! I mean making a whole new set of beliefs founded in the bible.



Edited by BigKid (09/03/11 02:55 PM)

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#369383 - 09/03/11 10:57 PM Re: A christian celibate gay [Re: BigKid]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5947
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
The person we are is fluid, BK,

We are always changing and adapting to our surroundings until we find a suitable identity, an identity that was interrupted when we were abused. I do not believe we will ever be completely comfortable until we find that personality, and work to integrate that in our lives.

The Bible, God's Word, is a good source of what we can become, however, until we are what we were, we cannot navigate the gap between then and now. We need bridges to help us cross that gap, to connect "I" then with "I" now. Until then, we have no point of reference with which to be guided, by God's Word or an other counsel.

Sure, I will not murder, I will not steal, but how can I understand the more finite lessons of self control and faith when I never understood the words as they applied to me, and was shown abuse instead of control, and suffering instead of faith, those words meant nothing to me for a long time, except that i needed to follow them, which lead to shame and failure.

Our hurt little boy needs to be appropriately challenged, but more so, needs to feel safe and secure to learn that there is a better way, that he will not be abused at work, at school, in the kitchen or within himself.

Our sexuality, without the interruption of the abuse, is what it was all those years ago. Recovery will address that issue as it comes up to be considered. We are not in control of our recovery, but as we recover, we find the roller coaster is not so "up and down", but it can be managed.

Sexuality and the Bible are pretty clear, in remaking ourselves with Bible based belief's, we can go back to the basic plan Almighty God set out in the beginning, Adam and Eve.

I like Ezekiel 18:31, and may I add Galatians 2:15, 16, in that we are declared righteous(good), so that we do not become overwhelmed by our mistakes in the past. Romans 12:2, to make our minds over to the good and perfect and acceptable things of God, and 1 Corinthians 6:11, that we were not able to attain to God's Kingdom, and we had many transgressions we had acted upon, but we have been washed clean and are now capable of enjoying the lessons and benefits of God's Kingdom, Isaiah 48:17, 18.

What is the next one, fellow survivors, how can we keep making ourselves over?

Sam

_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#369418 - 09/04/11 12:48 PM Re: A christian celibate gay [Re: SamV]
BigKid Offline


Registered: 09/01/11
Posts: 5
Hey Sasuva

Start be turning your eyes outward, who percieves you as disgusting?

Look yourselves in the mirror and blame everyone for not interfering. Its an act of violence first and foremost. Its quite easy talk to yourselves in the mirror, tell that person, what u dont like about him as if he were a stranger, and dont listen to a word he says if he answers back.

More importantly turn away from Jesus and offer your spirit to someone who knows the nature of a man. Try to find someone to talk to in real life.

I challenge u to change brother!


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