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#368637 - 08/21/11 10:11 PM I miss my old friends here
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5941
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
When I came to MaleSurvivor 20 months ago, almost 21 months now, I loved chatting with sono, blacken, Silly, k4, Obi, Donnie and trucker51 to name a few, and the rest of the survivors that helped me overcome the abuse and were individually responsible for supporting me in various parts of me recovery.

As I attempt to re-integrate myself into MaleSurvivor after the facilitating the Round Table, I am finding new names and new support. I am anxious, for I have issues I am only just beginning to be aware of, and re-immersion is a difficult process.

I long for "my class" of MS, the "'09'ers" maybe. I miss you guys, I am sad and hope you are thriving where ever you are.

Sam

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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#368641 - 08/21/11 10:50 PM Re: I miss my old friends here [Re: SamV]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1288
Loc: kansas
still here from time to time sam.

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live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

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#368643 - 08/21/11 11:28 PM Re: I miss my old friends here [Re: Obi]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5941
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Thanks Todd,

The old gang was very comfortable, they hung well, a good fit, you remember. It is difficult knowing they have moved on, I depended on them, and you, dear brother.

While I am sad, I am here. It is a new MaleSurvivor, Todd. I have not been keeping up with the guys in chat, nor some of the shares. I have some homework, and I am among fellow survivors,
Sam

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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#368659 - 08/22/11 08:46 AM Re: I miss my old friends here [Re: SamV]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1288
Loc: kansas
sam,

a lot of that is because those are the guys that you and i came to ms at about the same time. a lot of us at similar stages in our recoveries....

there are many reasons that a lot of them/us have moved on. i would tend to think is that because we are farther along in our recoveries...

yes, it's a new ms... however, it's the same. the only difference now is that we are in positions to be more of help to the new guys here. i feel that i should pay it forward, ya know? pay it forward to all the new guys here because we were once the new guys too... we got help from the guys who've been there before us and bonded together because we were in the same stages of our recoveries...

now it's our time to pass that on.. the new guys here will form their bonds with each other, just like we did, because they are in similar stages with each other. they will look to guys like us to help them through the early, and most crucial, stages...

sam, i know you remember, when you first got here at how scary it was. how scary it was to share your story. how scary it was to trust anyone. how scary it was to finally get real and deal with our issues instead of ignoring them, etc. how much pain there was at the beginning and how easy it is to just quit instead of dealing with it...

that's where guys like you and i come in to help them through those early stages. so that they don't give up. so that they keep fighting the good fight because they are worth it!

those early stages are the most difficult and scariest time... that's why those bonds get formed so strongly with others who are going through it at the same time as they are.... they become brothers like we did.... similar to those guys who've been through wars together...

yes, ms is changing, but that's because we're changing too sam.. we're making progress in our recoveries and we hope and pray that the new guys here will make their progressions as well...

_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#368660 - 08/22/11 09:03 AM Re: I miss my old friends here [Re: Obi]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6367
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Sam,

I was about to post the very same thing. The dynamic here at MS when I joined was entirely different than now. Things were much more...well...'dynamic' then. Not complaining about these days, its just entirely different from back then. The active-user count was much higher for example.

Its actually very sad (as you've said Sam). I had strong friendships with many, many guys here from all over the world. I met MANY of them face-to-face during my days of continuuous travel. There are many I worry about and many I just really need to talk to on occasion.

I do know they are either "further along" in their healing, or at least in a different mode of healing right now.

One risk, as it seems, here at MS, is making strong emotional contacts, only to see them fade when we may not be prepared for it. But we have to keep in mind that no one is ever actually committed to stay. Freedom to dissapear must hold-fast. Its just sad when it happens.

Its why I enjoy doing some time-travel via old posts.

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Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

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#368665 - 08/22/11 11:07 AM - [Re: Still]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (01/13/13 11:26 PM)

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#368666 - 08/22/11 11:24 AM Re: I miss my old friends here [Re: exhale]
TheBobcatAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 506
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
My brother Sam,

I understand how you feel; I have also felt some brothers slipping away. I used to receive half a dozen Private Messages a day (when I'd log into my account, I would say to myself, "Okay, let's see if anyone loves me today." lol). Now I receive maybe one PM a week.

Chat was also more populated; I used to juggle 3-6 PMs at once! I remember talking late into the night with caesar14, Obi, Silly, Anomalous, Cruxfidelis, petercorbett, prisonerID, Mulligan, Starman77, Ever-Fixed Mark, GentleSoul, nevragan, Ischyros, earlybird (occasionally), Trucker51, many_mees, Riley, Charlie14, WalkingSouth, FormerTexan, Pete2004, and, of course, sasuva (among numerous others I can't recall off the top of my head).

I don't know if this helps, but I'll share with you what I do occasionally. I send a PM to each of my brothers checking in and asking them how they are doing. Sometimes this reinforces our brotherhood; other times, I find out why they no longer PM me or don't visit MS as often. Some never read the PM, so I assume they are gone; but some brothers who do read my PMs send me a message back saying they are grateful that I cared enough to check up on them.

I'll add that I work 6 nights a week usually, so I don't have as much time to be here at MS. But I do miss my friends.

Just a suggestion, bro. Anyway, this Bobcat knows how you feel, but rest assured - you are MY brother for life. smile

Your loving brother, as always,

Bobcat



Edited by TheBobcatAgain (08/22/11 11:35 AM)
Edit Reason: Added, "I'll add that..."
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#368667 - 08/22/11 11:25 AM Re: I miss my old friends here [Re: exhale]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11026
Loc: Denver, CO
I can relate Sam. There were several on the board I connected with back in 04. I'm still in touch with a couple of them and we email often, one is a brother to me. A couple others are the occasional touching base, and others have pretty much moved on. Being here so long has given me the privilege to see a new group come in every now and then, a new wave of participants from all walks of life.

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List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


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#368686 - 08/22/11 05:35 PM Re: I miss my old friends here [Re: FormerTexan]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi, Sam. I can relate to what you say as well. MS is a dynamic place, much like real life where people come into our sphere of being, sometimes for a moment, other times for the rest of our time here on this rock.

When I came here in 2004, there was obviously a very different set of user names about the place, differing personalities, some good and some not so good. I still keep in touch with a few from here, but I think many guys are at differing stages of recovery, some have "healed" (if there can be such a thing), and others have probably slipped back into isolation. Whatever the reason they're no longer here, I wish them well and hope their recovery continues. There's a few here that I have met face to face, and even went on a private retreat that we organized together in the Rockies back in 2006 (wow, what a great time!). Some of them I still see face to face occasionally, others I haven't seen since then. But I still talk to some of them and keep up. I think it's just the fluid nature of life.

By the way, that Andy guy right ^^^ above me ^^^ here is a pretty incredible friend. laugh

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Eddie

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#368689 - 08/22/11 06:19 PM Re: I miss my old friends here [Re: EGL]
Riley Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/09
Posts: 597
Loc: USA
Hey Sam,

lol, it's so funny you mention this and so many relate. I was thinking about that the other day, the good ole days at MS!!

Don't get me wrong, I love many of the new guys, but it's kinda weird, kinda like being a senior and looking back at the freshmen. I think Todd said it the best.

I still check MS about once a day, but if you ever need to PM a fellow veteran, feel free.

Ryan


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