Self-care for the partner of a survivor is so important. As someone who works in one of the helping professions I may understand this more than most but even so I fell into this trap with my ex-girlfriend all the same. We were in a bit of a unique position because she is a survivor also. With that I reverted to “helper” mode and looked after her issues while ignoring my own. Well, not ignoring them altogether since I was self-medicating through drinking, which is one of the big reasons we broke up. I never cheated on her with anyone else but I did with alcohol since near the end of our relationship the booze came before she did, if this makes any sense. Right now I’m single and wish to stay that way while I work on the toughest stuff to do with my csa. Honestly to be able to take the time to focus completely on myself feels like a blessing. There are many years ahead in which to enjoy relationships but there is only one “me” and I want to ensure this “me” is the best it can be before sharing myself again with someone else, if only to be on the right footing. Just my thoughts. JS
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.