It isn't to me to decide what someone else does with their SSA, their love, or their healing power in dealing with incest/CSA. I myself know that in my own life, I disavowed my GLBT identity, I placated my homophobic family, I denied my SSA and only through great effort did I finally accept and make a lasting peace with my sexuality. I have lived inside a gay relationship now more than I have lived inside a straight one.
J Thank you for being so open to us who identify as Gay. We didn't choose to be this way regardless of the journey that others may say was a choice. I care not how others make the decision, only that my own statements be honored. When I say it was the ONLY way I could live, I expect to be respected as though I had no other choice. That is the key to the orientation decision. We are not allowed to step on each other's decisions or recovery. We must simply allow each man the lattitude to determine his own path without our demands of judgment or ridicule.
If I state that I was gay prior to CSA and that my incest and molestation did not turn me gay, then who may say I am wrong? And if I had persisted in Opposite Sex Marriages and asserted to therapists and other survivors that I was straight would then I be wrong? No....it is up to each of us to determine our path. Hopefully we will allow each other the lattitude we ourselves require.