Here's the event- I was in home depot today, and I was looking for a bunch of stuff. I was in the paint aisle and this boy- guy- man came over, who was an employee and asked ifvI needed some help. I said no, and the looked at him and started inquiring about specifics that I needed to know, but I would have found. I wanted to become this man, he was built, bjut not too big, handsome, but in a touch, touching way, I know that sounds weird...it was visceral, in almost had to leave. I literally wanted everything he was, plus expetiences him every way possible. He had a tattoo on his bicep, and I hate tatoo's, but it was hot. And he was just nice, went on to help someone else. I love home depot, b/c I feel like I can dry run how a man is, and what they know. I attempt very masculine things and it works. I'll even( loathe to admit it) scratch my sac if I'm yanking to another guy, because it's so not what I ever ascribed as me or being...but back to this person, it was so powerful, that I'm writing it ar 3 a.m.. I've ever understood all the grandstanding about how awesome sex is, I justbnever got that, I used to love to masturbate, but even that holds no allure for me....I literally wanted to have this man take me with him, fuck the shit out of me, and take care of me forever. I have done some stupid things in my marriage, and I can say, sucking a c&$k is not any pleasure I look to do, but this felt so different...I'm hopeless. Raising two boys, fucking my wife once every 3 months with barely an erection, and having fantasies, that If I really thinkvabout it, I want to be that man, and loved by a man, and through my fucked up brain switch it all around and sexualize it....fucked in ct tonight, this morning, every day for 45 years..one big weak fraid..who fucking cares anymore

That's talking not yanking!

Nature abhors a vacuum. You have a large one.

I'm sorry for your loss. Been there, thought that, though it was in various
paint aisles(+) in the uk, france, etc

Keep telling others!

in HOPE
cj