I didnt. Its there. Its always there.
I guess It was just wishful thinking.
Everything is so damn difficult.
I just want to be like the other guys but I hate them at the same time.
From what I've seen, other guys have their own issues, just like we do. I know that in my head, but sometimes it's hard to genuinely believe that's true, deep down inside.
Personally, I'm in a similar place as you when it comes to women. Although I'd describe myself as bi, I am typically more attracted emotionally to women than I am men. Whenever I meet a cute/nice girl, though, I always get thoughts of "If she ever really
got to know me, she wouldn't want anything to do with me." Again, logically, I know that I'm a good, nice, attractive guy. It really doesn't feel that way on the inside, though.
It sucks, and I wish I knew a quick and easy way to get past it, but I don't. More than anything, I think it just takes time. In the meantime, I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you're not alone.