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#367402 - 08/04/11 12:30 PM Re: video 2 probably triggering. [Re: thefutureorbust]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
Ive been considering it. It kind of scares me lol.

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

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#367404 - 08/04/11 12:53 PM Re: video 2 probably triggering. [Re: kinghenri]
thefutureorbust Offline


Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 171
Loc: NC
It will help from what I've heard. Supposed to clear up the truama fast

_________________________
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"

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#367405 - 08/04/11 01:25 PM Re: video 2 probably triggering. [Re: thefutureorbust]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
I have. It kind of scares me. Have you done it? Does it help?

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#367406 - 08/04/11 01:29 PM Re: video 2 probably triggering. [Re: kinghenri]
thefutureorbust Offline


Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 171
Loc: NC
Yes from what I hear is if your trauma is at a level 10 it can bring it to a 4 or 5

_________________________
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"

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#367557 - 08/06/11 01:22 PM Re: A Male Survivor of CSA 2 (triggers) [Re: kinghenri]
Sailboat92 Offline


Registered: 02/21/11
Posts: 79
Loc: Ct
What an incredible video, my heart, my hand goes out to you in friendship, and kinship I suppose, right?:)
I found your thoughts almost too "me" to watch, but I did, and I'm glad I did. It's such brave work, and hard work.
I too remember the " beautiful" girl, that I wanted to kiss so bad, to feel her mouth, and all else, and that was quickly replaced with shame and feelings of " who the fuck do you think you are, this girl knows your gay, so back off asshole"
I've since married, fathering two beautiful boys, my wife is aware of abuse, and has indications of acting out behavior- and so I watch your video and I am blown away by your truthfulness, and in the moment feelings. I think, that's the guy I want to be, and i mean that in the sense of integrity and what i saw as your absolute authentic self discussing your past and it's effects today. It was so hopeful, although I acknowledge it might not feel that way for you- I'm dying for that hope. To be the man you are so very clearly.

The way you looked and rubbed your neck when you were referring to the girl you saw was to me so natural and obvious that you were really excited about the possibilities, your eyes literally changed for that brief period. I see hope and a path forward for you that is going to be awesome beyond imagination. And the beautiful girl will be wondering, how did I get such an incredible man to be my partner. I just know this to be your very bright and indeed happy way forward. Thank you for sharing.

_________________________
I don't have one

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#367562 - 08/06/11 01:45 PM Re: A Male Survivor of CSA 2 (triggers) [Re: Sailboat92]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
Thank you so much sailboat. It's almost scary to recieve praise but it warms my heart. I will continue to do this.
Love and peace brother. Take it easy
Henri

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#367566 - 08/06/11 01:59 PM Re: A Male Survivor of CSA 2 (triggers) [Re: kinghenri]
Sailboat92 Offline


Registered: 02/21/11
Posts: 79
Loc: Ct
Another arrow straight through all and everything I feel,
And struggle daily to move beyond. Your words and video's are beautiful man, they are helping me more than I think I may realize, and the guys who are masculine and your uncomfortable around, god truer words to me have never been spoken.. My one good therapist said to me a long time ago, that in my acting out, I was attempting to reconcile what I saw as "manly" in my indiscretions, and through these, hope that it would somehow lightening bolt into me, so that I became like them, a man..how fucked up! Fucking them would create in me what I saw in them and wanted desperately to be,
Comfortable as a man, masculine, strong, handsome and in control, all that shit that says your a man..what did I get, more fucking confusion, shame and self hate- plan didn't work.thanks Henri




Edited by Sailboat92 (08/06/11 02:01 PM)
Edit Reason: Word wrong
_________________________
I don't have one

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#367567 - 08/06/11 02:31 PM Re: A Male Survivor of CSA 2 (triggers) [Re: Sailboat92]
kinghenri Offline


Registered: 05/06/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Tucson Arizona
Jeez man that sounds really painful. I guess I kind of have a similar sort of thing. My most pervasive fantasy is of my Ex getting screwed in front of me. "see Henri, this is how a real man does it".
Everything frim the abuse is there. Shame, betrayal, self-loathing, and fear.
All this is very arousing for all the wrong reasons. Now that being said, it's going to take a lot of work to reclaim sexuality.
Sorry if I'm rambling (emotional fallout)
Henri

_________________________
"In my life, I have seen,
People walk into the sea,
Just to find memories,
Plagued by constant misery,
Their eyes cast down,
Fixed upon the ground,
Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun"

Top
#367568 - 08/06/11 06:14 PM Re: A Male Survivor of CSA 2 (triggers) [Re: kinghenri]
thefutureorbust Offline


Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 171
Loc: NC
Henri, remember bro, whenever you want to reach out email me! Btw did your other arm catch up? lol

_________________________
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"

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#367570 - 08/06/11 07:07 PM Re: A Male Survivor of CSA 2 (triggers) [Re: thefutureorbust]
lmjanes Offline


Registered: 07/09/10
Posts: 6
Loc: Southwest
Henry,

What Freshwond is saying about EMDR is true. Odd enough, I live in the same town as you do and I know a person who had it done and said it helped her greatly. If you are interested in the name of the therapist, I can give it to you through PM.


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