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#366161 - 07/18/11 11:01 AM Separation anxiety for 10 yr old girl-Normal?
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Well I was going to see a baseball game with my sister-in-law the other day. My oldest niece, came outside as we were backing out of the driveway and she was crying, my S-I-L told me that she gets upset when she leaves her. Isn't she a bit old to have separation anxiety? I worry sometimes that their might be ssomething wrong going on at home but think that I might be a bit biased due to my past.

Jason

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#366165 - 07/18/11 11:56 AM Re: Separation anxiety for 10 yr old girl-Normal? [Re: onlyakid]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1736
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Jason

Separation anxiety at ten is reasonable, at twelve then there is a problem. Nothing wrong with being alert to the possibilities of something bad happening. This is, I feel why we went through what we did, so that we could save other beautiful children from going through the same.
Do some doll questions, Take her favorite doll and ask her if anyone touches her here, and point to the Bikini area. If the answer is yes then say, who mommy, the doctor? and wait for the reply. The next step is not an irrational response but rather talk to the SIL and tell her that you think there is a possibility. BE GENTLE.
Hope this answer the question.

Heal well
Martin

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#366589 - 07/26/11 04:06 AM Re: Separation anxiety for 10 yr old girl-Normal? [Re: whome]
grumplestiltskin Offline


Registered: 04/14/11
Posts: 30
Loc: Denver CO
Oh, God, please don't do doll questions. If you're that worried then enlist professional help, whether it's through child protective services or not. But please don't go fooling around under the hood on your own. It's unfortunately easy to influence children while asking questions and I would hazard a guess that with zero emotional distance and as a survivor it would be especially easy to wander into.

To be honest it could be completely normal for some families I've known and then in others it would be super abnormal. My parents wanted us self-sufficient pretty early so by 10 I was staying home alone for a few hours at a time. I have friends with kids who are nowhere close to being able to stay home alone who are older than that. Hell one branch of my family the children pretty much all live on the same block as their parents and barely ever left home. If that's the only sign, it's pretty small and open to interpretation. If there's other red flags then you might have cause to worry.


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#366635 - 07/26/11 04:02 PM Re: Separation anxiety for 10 yr old girl-Normal? [Re: grumplestiltskin]
katie1205 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/11
Posts: 48
I agree at 11 years old (mind you this was young) I WAS the baby sitter. With an American Heart Association Baby Sitting training card, etc. When a kid that age doesn't want to go with somebody, there is usually a damn good reason. If you can find a child psychologist to talk to her and separate the shit from the shineola and make the determination.

Katie


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