as a victim of sexual abuse, I blamed my past for having disturbing thoughts and never imagined that I could of developed OCD. However, I have learned about it recently and this is what I found:
It cannot be overemphasized that the sexual obsessions in OCD are the opposite of the usual sexual daydream or fantasy. The thoughts are not really part of the person's identity, but they are the sort of thoughts or impulses the person with OCD fears that he/she may have (Aardema & O'Connor, 2003, 2007). The sexual ideation in OCD is unpleasant and distressing for the person with OCD. The individual with OCD does not want the thought to become real. The idea of acting out the obsession fills the OCD victim with dread (Gordon 2002). The sexual ideation in such situations is termed "ego-dystonic" or ego-alien, meaning that the behavior and/or attitudes are seen by the individual as inconsistent with his or her fundamental beliefs and personality. Sexual obsessions in OCD rarely produce sexual arousal because anxiety and arousal cannot occupy the same space. As a result, OCD usually decreases sex drive. However, the sufferer's constant focus on not becoming aroused or checking that they do not become aroused may lead to 'groinal response'. Many OCD sufferers take this groinal response as actual arousal, when in reality it is not. OCD sexual obsessions often result in guilt, shame, and may interfere with social functioning or work. On the subject of sexual arousal. Maybe 40% of sufferers (number could be higher due to the embarrassment associated) also report some accompanying physiological arousal. Reactions can include increased heart rate, a feeling of being turned on, and even erections, increased lubrication (in women), and orgasm. This response typically generates more confusion and uncertainty. Normally however this is a conditioned physiological response in the primitive thalamus of a brain which does not identify the thought as sex with a particular person, just sex. This is generally not indicative of one's own personal desires. (Osgood-Hynes)
here goes the link to read full article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_obsessions
the following posts were found on OCD blogs about intrusive thoughts:
Posted 02 September 2004 - 04:11 PM
Please can anyone tell me if they have the same problems. I keep having persistent unwanted, really disturbing sexual thoughts about people I know. It is really getting to me and making my life a misery. I have one close person who knows about it, I they are trying there hardest to understand and support me, but it is hard. I really don't wnat these thoughts, and when I have them I feel really gulitly and feel i need to tell this close friend what I have been thinking, because if i dont then somethign bad will happen or the thoughts will continue to play on my mind. I have other ocd sytoms, such as counting things and rearranging things. Please reply if you ahve the same syptoms.
Posted 10 September 2006 - 11:10 AM
ohhh man, that's so crazy, I had no idea so many other people had the same problem. However, I'm really lucky, because I know someone who has OCD too, and I can always talk about it. It's really helped to see others have the same exact symptoms as me, because then I know I'm not 'weird' or 'disgusting'. My main problem is always having sexual thoughts, but I'm not really compulsive. When I was about 7 years old I would obsessively wash my hands, and that was right after my parents got divorced. Now, I just have obsessions, not so much compulsions, and I always remember havign them. Thank you guys for talking about this, it really helps. (:
Posted 04 November 2006 - 03:13 AM
I feel all of your pain. I was living a normal life until I was 19. I then started thinking all kinds of sick sexual stuff. Anything your mind could imagine, I thought. It got so bad, that I looked at everyone and everything around me and I could think of sexual thoughts of them. I could not understand what was wrong with me. It was killing me that I could be like that. I thought if any of my friends or family knew, they'd hate me for sure. I would be around a male friend, a sexual thought. I would thinking, what in the world is wrong with you? That's sick. It's been seven years since, and it gets in it's real bad points and then they subside. But when it's bad, I just want to die. I am afraid to even hold a child because a thought comes into my head and I think I'm some sick pedophile and I should be shot. Does this mean I'm sicker than everyone else on here? I know I am attracted to females. Heck, an attractive female flirts heavily with me, it makes my day. So why these thoughts? I want this to go away. I want to live normally, not have thoughts that make me feel like scum of the earth. I am glad I can release this off my chest. It's weighed on me for so many years, seven!!!!
I was relieved to realize that victims of sexual abuse are not the only ones suffering from this. It has helped me to also recognize that I'm not alone and that I must always remember who I am...a child of god that sacrificied everything to save me by allowing his own son to die in my place. I pray this calms storms and reaffirms peoples identity in God.