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#36546 - 04/11/05 07:22 PM Michael Jackson
Hassan Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/24/02
Posts: 7
Loc: Kiev, Ukraine
Damn... just wrote a long post and managed to erase it before posting...

Anyway, all the idle chatter about MJ is getting under my skin. Small talk about politics and religion don't get to me, normally, even if I find some of the stances offensive. But, wow, opinions about MJ are really getting to me. I find myself triggered in unlikely places: at work, lunch, light social functions designed for "mingling" and "networking".

Itís under control, but sometimes I feel like telling those acquaintances a thing or two about abuse from a victim. Make them squirm for taking things so lightly. I know I'd just feel like an ass later, but some people just go around saying the stupidest things.

Anyway, I'm sure you all relate. I just had to say it somewhere. Itís too small to bring it up with any of my friends who know about my history (some of them say really dumb things to me as well, forgetting). So, are any of you all finding it a challenge to deal with this fiasco?

Peace


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#36547 - 04/11/05 07:33 PM Re: Michael Jackson
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Hassan, it is difficult to have to listen to any abuse case, and radio, TV, and chit chat can trigger.

Mj is idolised by so many dumb f*cks, like he could never be wrong, an he is some god or what.

No, your dumb friends do not have a clue about SA, and you are not gonna tell them, but I would love to, maybe it would make them think a bit.

I do not even follow this case, as it is too annoying, but I just hope the decision is just and fitting, I think history is finally catching up with him.

take care,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#36548 - 04/11/05 07:46 PM Re: Michael Jackson
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Hassan, I have the most trouble with comedians who make jokes about it. They have no idea (at least I hope they have no idea) of what a horrible thing this is to joke about. I wrote to Jay Leno about one of his jokes...it was so disgusting I had to, but I don't know if that kind of protest ever gets through.

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#36549 - 04/11/05 09:03 PM Re: Michael Jackson
Archnut Offline
Member

Registered: 10/26/02
Posts: 343
Loc: United Kingdom
Hi Hassan and welcome

It was a problem but its safe to say it is a problem no longer. I am ashamed no longer and will talk about my abuse like I talk about my addictions. I had an instance this afternoon, it was time for a hair cut and in I went into my usual place, waited for about ten minutes and got called to the lower end of the barbers sat down and the general chit chat started it got round to the history of the building we where in (Approx 500 years old) and we started talking about our local records office and it gradually got onto taking degrees as mature students as her mother was at university doing a degree in art and illustration,

I was then asked if I "was a working archaeologist"? As that is what my degree is in, I had to say "no" and she asked what was I doing now? I Replied I consider myself as an unpublished author, film maker and writer and she asked what I wrote about so I told her "about the effect of male childhood sexual abuse, my childhood sexual abuse". At first she didnt say anything and then said "why"? "Because if I wrote it down I couldnt deny it, it found theraputic" I then told her my story in ten minutes if that, shes said something like "I know how hard that must have been for you2 ... ... And then that she told me that her mum was sexualy abused as a child" and her mum feels exactly the same way, her shame as lifted too ... ... and will talk openly about it, so it does happen.

Six months prior to this I tried the same thing getting it round to where I could get something in about my CSA, I did get round to it but it killed the converstion stone dead and the rest of my haircut went on in deadly silence, I can just imagine that the guy back in the hairdresser was sayig something like this. "That bloke just told me about sexual abuse and how its effected him, I dont believe him... ... You just dont talk about things like that".

Sorry mate but this one does

Two totally different responses from two unpicked individuals but they both made me feel good about myself. Shame held me together for so many years but to be free of it is so ........

I dont consider myself a film maker yet but I have just had a video short accepted at our local Home grown artists and video festival. Its the first time Ive been accepted into anything, except maybe archaeology. The video short is about my sexual abuse and how it affected me.It is set to The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes" I do write and hope to get my first book published soon. Oh yeah my hairdresser said she would seriously consider coming to the screening of my video short and that tickets are only three quid (three pounds), bloody hell I thought this would have been a freebie, somebody paying to see what I have done, its on April 28th.

I then went to meet Lloydy for our monthy male group

Regards

Kirk


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#36550 - 04/11/05 11:42 PM Re: Michael Jackson
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
And I didn't even notice you'd had a haircut !

I've seen Kirks short film and it's stunning, and I'm not just saying that to be nice, he knows me well enough to know if I was bullshitting.

jackson's trial is getting a lot of coverage over here as well, and I guess that I have the attitude that although what he's accused of does affect me a lot, the testimonies are upsetting, I just don't give a shit about jackson. In the dock he's just another person.

The jackson jokes don't bother me either, that's societies defence mechanism. There were tsunami jokes doing the rounds within hours, as were 9.11 jokes. Sick? yes, it can't be denied that they often are. But I think it's a way of expressing 'something' about an event that we don't fully understand.

Our group sessions often end up with us crying from laughter, we're not laughing at each other, we laugh with each other, and at the utter lunacy that we often face as we heal.

I'd rather cry from laughing than fear or sadness, and if it's not particularly politically correct? well, that's just one way of helping myself to understand the madness of my abuse.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#36551 - 04/12/05 06:32 PM Re: Michael Jackson
Aden Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 499
I have a coworker who goes ballistic at the slightest negative comment about MJ. He is a 62 year old ďqueenĒ who lives with his two pre-adolescent nephews. The whole thing makes me feel ďhinky.Ē Donít get me wrong, I am gay, but I donít defend abuse, live with children, or become irrational over comments about fading pop singers. Itís just the old saying about ducks. If it looks like a duck and quacks, it might be a duck. My coworker is psychologically imbalanced. That is a fact born out by his aberrant behaviors at work. I am his supervisor. Can any one think of something I might reasonably do in this situation? I sure canít.

It seems like there are just some things that happen in our minds that we canít do anything about. Or am I just being a defeatist?

Aden


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#36552 - 04/12/05 08:16 PM Re: Michael Jackson
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Aden
If jackson is found guilty, then he'll have to change his his tune.

His already admitted behaviour is bad enough to make most people want to lock him up and throw away the key!

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#36553 - 04/12/05 10:03 PM Re: Michael Jackson
FLRich Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404
All the media coverage over Michael Jackson has me to a point where I can't get into a conversation over it with coworkers or friends.

I don't give a damn how many great philantropical activities Jackson has participated in. Does this give him the right to molest little boys? And what about these dumbass parents that allowed them to spend the night alone with him? They ought to be thrown in jail along with Michael!

There is a mother of one of these molested kids in the newspaper today that states that she let her son stay alone with Michael Jackson after Jackson cried and begged for her to let her son stay overnight. Who in their right mind would allow their child to stay overnight with a grown man, especially a grown man that cried and begged for their child to be allowed to stay? No one except money grubbing parents that more or less pimped their kids to Jackson. I'm sorry, but that's the way I see it. I have two sons and I'll be damned if I would have ever allowed them to spend the night with Jackson even if there was an entire house full of people there. Something is wrong with these parents!

I get too upset to talk about this at work or with friends because I know what it's like to be abused, as all of you guys do. However, the few times I have tried to tell my friends about my abuse, they have turned a deaf ear. They can't handle it and don't want to hear about it. At that point, I begin to feel guilty for upsetting them and the subject is never mentioned again.

You guys are the only ones who understand me and the only ones who can understand my hatred for Michael Jackson. Even if he is not guilty of actually physically molesting these boys, he has mentally and emotionally molested them by just the things he has admitted to. Did he ever stop to think what it may do these young boys emotionally to sleep in the same bed with a grown man? Or see a grown man walk around nude? Or take a shower with a grown man? It doesn't matter if he physically didn't touch them or not. It will have an affect on these kids.

Damn, guys, sorry I rambled on this one. I need to vent more often alone in my storage shed in the backyard.


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#36554 - 04/12/05 10:39 PM Re: Michael Jackson
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Rich, my reply is this, MJ, is innocent, he has not been proven guilty.

I watched some documentary where he paid some millions to a boy who he was accused or molesting, so it was kept out of the courts with a discalimer of not being able to disclose this as future evidence in court.

The boy was hurt for life, and the payoff maybe some comfort for the kid.

There were many loopholes in the disclaimer, which means that it can now be used in evidence in the courts.

Obviously the defense will always claim monetary payoff, and dismiss the evidence, as though it never happened, it has destroyed the kids life.

Nothing can compensate loss of childhood, nothing in the world.

Nothing could ever compensate me for the way I have to suffer the consequence of abuse, I just numb it out, and cry for those who still suffer,

millions suffer, it is those who I cry for,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#36555 - 04/13/05 12:02 AM Re: Michael Jackson
FLRich Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404
Sorry Ste,

I forgot the innocent until proven guilty part. I guess perhaps that's why I don't get chosen for jury duty! Forgive me, bud. I have issues, I won't deny. This is why I spend a lot of time alone ranting in the storage shed. :rolleyes:


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