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#365002 - 06/27/11 02:05 AM So-and-so has removed themself...
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11021
Loc: Denver, CO
We all get PMs from others and they fly back and forth on the site all the time. I'm removing a large number of messages from my inbox right now, just to get a handle on what I have there.

Do you ever see "__________ has removed themself from this topic" and get some ideas of unintended consequence? I have to remind myself now and then that someone is simply dumping old messages from topics that are a bit dated, and that it's not them tossing me to the four winds.

Andy

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List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#365017 - 06/27/11 07:39 AM Re: So-and-so has removed themself... [Re: FormerTexan]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma
Andy,

I remember the first time this happened to me. Someone replied to a PM then almost immediately "removed themselves from the topic". I did not know what to think of that. Later I learned that when one deleted PMs that this message was the one that was sent to the other person(s)in the PM. Then it made sense to me.

Good of you to post this for new men here as well as non-techys like me.


Daryl

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Broad statements often miss their true mark.

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#365021 - 06/27/11 08:46 AM Re: So-and-so has removed themself... [Re: prisonerID]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5940
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
This simple clerical step, Andy, can have untold repercussions to abuse survivors without clarification, indeed.

Thank you for helping us understand that this line "<username> has removed themselves from this topic" really just means that the post was probably deleted for lack of space.

I remember my first message like that I received, and it felt as I was being rejected and took this personally, when the others in the PMs had nothing but love and support for me.

Thanks Andy, great topic.

Sam


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MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#365023 - 06/27/11 09:53 AM Re: So-and-so has removed themself... [Re: FormerTexan]
TheBobcatAgain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/10
Posts: 506
Loc: AZ, U.S.A.
A question regarding PMs: what is the difference between deleting PMs and removing yourself from the topic?

_________________________
You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

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#365048 - 06/27/11 06:31 PM Re: So-and-so has removed themself... [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3362
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Bobcat,

when a PM is deleted it automaticaly sends a message to the other persons in the PM saying "<username> has removed themself from this topic"

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#371867 - 10/06/11 07:09 PM Re: So-and-so has removed themself... [Re: TJ jeff]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11021
Loc: Denver, CO
Bumping up for the benefit of newer participants on the discussion board.

Bumpty-bump.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#371902 - 10/07/11 12:19 PM Re: So-and-so has removed themself... [Re: FormerTexan]
Czaesar72 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/10
Posts: 211
Loc: California, USA
Thanks for the notice, Andy!

I did that once, because I didn't know how this works. I was cleaning my inbox, and someone did not talked to me after that, and i couldn't figure out why.

_________________________
Alejandro
A very grateful Alumni of the Level I WoR Sequoia 2011, Ben Lohmond, CA, USA
and Advanced WoR Alta 2011, Alta, UT, USA.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift; it is the burdens he can understand and overcome.

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#371923 - 10/07/11 08:45 PM Re: So-and-so has removed themself... [Re: Czaesar72]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
I think in either case, whether you "remove yourself" from a message or you delete a message or group of messages the other person still gets a notice they you've removed yourself from the conversation.

As you can imagine, I get many PM conversations and need to keep my box cleared out or they mount up. Generally when it seems to me a conversation is finished I remove it from my list. That removal is in no way an indication that the other person doesn't matter. It's simply tidying up what I believe to be finished business.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#375134 - 11/12/11 09:56 PM Re: So-and-so has removed themself... [Re: WalkingSouth]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11021
Loc: Denver, CO
Bumpty-bump.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#375242 - 11/13/11 11:00 PM Re: So-and-so has removed themself... [Re: FormerTexan]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3362
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
thanks for the bump Andy as I find myself just about to go through my own PM files and clean them out a bit - so please don't take it personal anyone...

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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