Sorry to see that the crap is bothering you so much again. When I was in treatment I was asked to write down some things on a card that I could either read myself, or if in group, someone there would read it to me. They were brief, statements that help ground me: e.g.
I am _____years old, I am NOT a kid!
I am in_______,not in _______(where you were violated)
I am a strong adult.
I have great power, way more than _______ever had. I can crush______if I choose to.
I am completely safe here. This is my safe place.
I have friends who will see to it that I am never harmed again.
Maybe these would help you. They sure helped me.
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.