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#300129 - 08/21/09 04:34 PM Re: sympathy for pedos /hate for victims? [Re: myboyhoodfears]
nevermind Offline


Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 58
Loc: Pennsylvania
Originally Posted By: myboyhoodfears
not sure any of those would work...for several reasons...mostly because my resorces are very limited....and i dont live near him....but i can give his name to the authorities...i just happened to see on the news yesterday, an annonymous tip line...which may work for this sort of thing....ill check that web site out.


Dude. There you go, you have an opportunity to literally save someone, whether it be your old friend or a possible victim. Not taking any action is pretty much condoning the crime. Have courage and do what you wish someone had done to save you.

_________________________
Young Caine:
"Then life must be always defended?"

Master Kan:
"The thorn defends the rose. It harms only those who would steal the blossom from the plant."

Kung Fu, Episode 4

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#300131 - 08/21/09 04:46 PM Re: sympathy for pedos /hate for victims? [Re: DJsport]
nevermind Offline


Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 58
Loc: Pennsylvania
Originally Posted By: DJsport
Originally Posted By: nevermind
We survivors have a hard enough time dealing with feeling defensive even when we're not attacked.


Hi, Nevermind.

Being defensive which was not my reaction or not I am having anxiety about the topic because I have a history is identical to others. Defensive means others are judging.

I am only adding my story.

I apologize if my wording is "offensive/defensive/incorrect or whatever.

NO judgements from me and I hope no one is being judgemental of me.

This it tough STUFF and staying with this might be the key to needed healing.

DJ


I wasn't offended by anything you said. As a matter of fact my reply had more to do with the original post and his leaving the support group. The reaction he got was uncalled for and he didn't deserve it.

Not everyone is capable of being compassionate with perps or victim/perps, at least not in the stage of healing they're at in the particular moment. I probably have a little more compassion than I used to, but the anger is always there. I don't see how anyone could conceive of attacking a survivor for feeling that way.

I have no argument with you or anyone else who is a survivor with perp thoughts or tendencies, though to be honest I may have a tough time chatting with someone who has perpetrated. I'm hyper-vigilant about protecting children rather than having the urge to do unto others what was done to me.

I, in turn, hope I have not offended anyone here, including you, DJ. Peace.

_________________________
Young Caine:
"Then life must be always defended?"

Master Kan:
"The thorn defends the rose. It harms only those who would steal the blossom from the plant."

Kung Fu, Episode 4

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#300135 - 08/21/09 05:02 PM Re: sympathy for pedos /hate for victims? [Re: nevermind]
nevermind Offline


Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 58
Loc: Pennsylvania
On second thought, I don't know if I feel comfortable here anymore.

_________________________
Young Caine:
"Then life must be always defended?"

Master Kan:
"The thorn defends the rose. It harms only those who would steal the blossom from the plant."

Kung Fu, Episode 4

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#300138 - 08/21/09 06:06 PM . [Re: nevermind]
DJsport Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 1742
.



Edited by DJsport (12/21/09 10:49 PM)
_________________________
Live to your fullest potential

Never make someone a priority if your only an option

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#300199 - 08/22/09 12:48 PM Re: sympathy for pedos /hate for victims? [Re: zb420]
nomansanisland Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 156
Loc: NM
oooohh pppaallleezzzzee...

you did the right thing, sympathy for the abuser? you spoke your truth... remember who your audience is here...
keep on writing...nomansanisland

_________________________
" If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drum. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away." Henry David Thoreau

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#300319 - 08/23/09 07:52 PM Re: sympathy for pedos /hate for victims? [Re: nomansanisland]
zb420 Offline


Registered: 08/16/09
Posts: 251
thx for the replies


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#301538 - 09/03/09 09:07 PM Re: sympathy for pedos /hate for victims? [Re: zb420]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
I understand about the acting-out behaviour of people who have been abused, and sometimes this behaviour may be abusing others. Much of the time the person who is acting out has been affected in such a way that he may not understand the impact of what he is doing, but to the person being abused by him, he is still a perp.

It's important to be understanding, and maybe it is difficult and complex to consider where the blame should be placed, but it is important for the person that was abused that there are no excuses for his abuser. On the flip side, it is important for the victim who abuses, and who does so without knowledge or intention of hurting, that it was an acting-out behaviour for whatever given reasons but that he can not fall back on excuses, which in turn helps to avoid future relapses.

Just my opinions

Lewis

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#364696 - 06/21/11 10:12 AM Re: sympathy for pedos /hate for victims? [Re: king tut]
walkingtall Offline


Registered: 06/20/11
Posts: 2
Loc: OC,Ca
The abuser is allways WRONG. Abuse (sexual) can never be rationalized because someone was abused. It's black and white, there are no grey areas.

_________________________
Well what can i say. I was molested by my mothers brother(uncle) for two years starting at age eleven. He performed oral and so did i.
So many yrs of shame and guilt.
Fantasys of mam to man oral is my current downfall.
Thanks for this forum guys.

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