Sorry to hear about your own situation. I just read your another post of yours (12 years), and we seem to have some similarities. There are whole chunks of my childhood missing from my memory, too. When I was in therapy (briefly, in my 20's) I tried really hard to remember and got nowhere. Now, I just want to move on. This all started about a year ago when I was dealing with some other problems, trying to rid myself of shame, etc., trying to like myself, to just live in the present, but then all this stuff from the past came up. I've just never dealt with it, told anyone. But I found this site and it's not so hard talking anonymously here. And the guys have been... Everyone's so generous and understanding.
At this point, I don't think I'm ever going to remember. And there's the possibility, I guess, I wasn't abused, that something else explains my acting out (?). I just want to let go of it.
I'm sorry for what you're going through, vachssfan. I hope the things loosening up and moving around in your head lead you somewhere. I'll be rooting for you from my corner.