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#364442 - 06/18/11 09:02 AM I fucking hate father's day
Dan99 Offline


Registered: 06/18/07
Posts: 100
Loc: Washington DC
Selfish post ahead. Don't read it if you don't feel like having negativity in your day.









I fucking hate father's day. It brings about all sorts of horrible and rotten memories for me that make me sad, disgusted, angry and jealous.

It's like so much in life. There's my reality and most other people's reality. It would be selfish of me to bring down the day for others. No one wants to deal with what father's day represents to me. I don't blame them, and obviously I don't want to trash their experience. But I also can't be silent. It is dishonest, or at least avoidant.

It is disrespectful to all that I went through as a child to just smile and pretend that father's day for me is a happy time. So it forces me into that place I hate most: Either play along and pretend or make the selfish choice to honor my own experience and feel my reality, which is so completely at odds with how others perceive this day.

I spend a lot of my life pretending that I'm in step with others perceptions of events just to make them comfortable around me. But some times I need to just pull back and accept that this day sucks for me. That I didn't get the lucky breaks that other guys got.

I know that other people have their own crosses to bear. There are things in life I didn't face that they must bear. And most days that's enough to keep me going with the flow and keeping up appearances. But some days, and father's day seems to be one of them, it's too much and so I give myself the permission to be selfish and feel the sadness and anger and just say what's on my mind. Not looking to destroy this day for anyone (either here or in my non-virtual life). But this is about the only place in the world where I can express these thoughts and have them understood, so I needed to get them out.


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#364471 - 06/18/11 04:28 PM Re: I fucking hate father's day [Re: Dan99]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hi, my fraternal brother.

Well, I guess that just maybe i'm was a lucky boy after all. After reading all about what dads were capable of doing to their sons.
I do not recall ever seeing a dad. but I had a sister 3 years younger. A miracle birth?

Fresh memories have come to my concious mind in these last few weeks. I remember a step-relative, of sorts telling me many years ago that I had indeed had seen my father, in fact i had even served him coffee many times in my step uncles restaurant as a boy between 8-14 years old.
He(my father) never told me who he was, and I don't have a clue on what he might have looked like. Just why my uncle never told me who he was, I don't know. And why my father never told me who he was, i'll never know.

Fathers day, as far as my dad/father is concerned is a non day. Just as "mothers" day is a non day for me.
Just another Sunday on my trek to being a survivor.

For those of you that did have great dads. Celebrate it & cherish it.

Heal well, my fraternal brothers, heal well.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.

Pete..Irishmoose.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#364485 - 06/18/11 06:55 PM Re: I fucking hate father's day [Re: petercorbett]
Guss Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/17/10
Posts: 26
Loc: tx usa
I choose to not observe holidays just because others think they should be a holiday. My parents were both abusive, and I want to puke when I hear people talk about precious mother, and dear old dad. For years, I would skip church on those days to escape all the hypocrisy.
I believe you should show people you love them whenever you want. I don't believe in some trumped up day. Look at all the time, energy, and money that is used up on those days.
I know it is okay for me to not observe a holiday if I don't want too. I am happier just being myself.
Dan99, if you don't want to observe it, don't. Do something that you find healing, and makes you happy.

_________________________
moooooo

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#364486 - 06/18/11 07:03 PM Re: I fucking hate father's day [Re: Guss]
vachssfan Offline


Registered: 03/08/11
Posts: 58
Loc: TX
dan99-

me. fucking. too.

_________________________
www.memoryisaghost.blogspot.com/

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#364574 - 06/19/11 04:59 PM Re: I fucking hate father's day [Re: vachssfan]
thefutureorbust Offline


Registered: 04/24/11
Posts: 171
Loc: NC
me 3 dan..my bastard father abused me when I was about 5

_________________________
"What does not kill me makes me stronger"

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